


Stay a little longer with me

by Scarlet47



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Afterwar, Art, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ex, Jealousy, M/M, Marriage, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 18:32:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 58,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11606484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet47/pseuds/Scarlet47
Summary: One day he's here, the next day he's gone... so when he leaves, how do you live on?Draco thinks he can handle anything fate throws at him but what happens when he bumps into his ex again after three years? An ex who he thinks he's over but his heart says otherwise. One thing marriage has taught him is; love isn't love till you give it away and it comes back to you again. It’s crazy, powerful, possessive and intense, unlike other relationships it can only be shared with two people but can be easily destroyed on an action of betrayal.





	1. I am better sleeping on my own

**Author's Note:**

> This was suppose to be a one shot... but that clearly didn't happen so I split the story in two parts. Enjoy :) 
> 
> Song credit-  
> you are my sunshine- johnny cash  
> Love yourself- written by Ed Sheeran- Singer-Justin Bieber  
> Photographer- Ed Sheeran  
> Mocking bird- Eminem

**5 th February, Wednesday, 2000**

 “Good Morning” Draco smiles as Harry leans in to kiss his lips.

“Morning” he says back. Harry steps aside with a yawn his arms stretching up in the air. A small smile spreads on Draco’s lips, he leans forward to leave a small kiss on Harry’s chin. It’s been almost three years since the war ended, three years of being happily married and five years of being madly in love. As Draco flips the French toast with the spatula, he glances to his side to see his husband taking out a coffee mug, his sleepy green eyes struggling to open. He chuckles, his heart flutter as the urge to scoop Harry in arms becomes stronger along with the need to give him lazy kisses all over. Harry’s eyes turn to look at him, a brilliant grin falls on his lips and Draco’s heart jumps in his throat, even after five years his heart stands weak against that boyish grin. Yeah, he was defiantly in love.

Draco smiles back _‘I love you’_ he thinks.

 

 

 

 

 “I love you” Harry says, leaning forward his lips pressing against Draco’s soft ones again. A hot blush flutters on his pale cheeks and the blonde breaks the kiss looking away as he flips the toast.

“Do you have work today?” asked Harry, grabbing the two coffee mugs in his hands. Draco slips the spatula under the cooked toast and places it on a white plate “Not today” he says twisting the black knob on the stove to turn the gas off.

“Are you coming home late again?” Draco asked sitting on the opposite side to Harry, so they are facing one another. A sigh leaves Harry’s beautiful lips, his dark inked hair falling on his eyes as he leans forward to grab his plate “Hope not” he says grabbing a fork and a knife “It’s your day off finally, I would like to spend the night with you” There a light blush on his cheeks and Draco feels his own cheeks heating up. He nods his head and looks down at the fork in his hands. As a full-time Auror healer and Harry working as a full-time Auror, they barely get to spend time together. Sometimes Draco would get so busy that he would end up sleeping at St. Mungo’s, he knows it isn’t fair to Harry who sometimes spends the nights sleeping on the sofa waiting for him to come home. But a healer's job is as tough as and Auror’s, it’s true that Harry never once spend a night at the Ministry but their jobs are completely different. For Draco, if an emergency shows up, he has to stay and there's no way out. As for Harry, even if he’s on a mission he mostly does his research from home and investigates in the morning.

His grey eyes fall on the sliver tantalum ring on Harry’s left hand perfectly looped around his ring finger “Harry” Draco says shyly glancing up at his husband. The other man looks up at him “I-I…” he bites his lower lip “Do you remember our talk about… having kids?” He feels his whole face burning, he thinks his heart will explode as Harry puts his cup down on the table, his eyes fully focused on him now “Yes” Harry says, his voice firmed with hint of nervous. Draco gulps “I thought about it…” he says, looking deep into the shimmer of those green eyes “I’ll take the potion” He mumbles, loud enough for his husband to hear. Harry blinks at him, eyes blown with shock then a delightful smiles on his lips lighting up his whole face up “REALLY!?” Harry jumps off his chair and comes around the table to scoop Draco up in his arms. The blonde laughs, his hands curling around Harry’s neck as the man carries him in a bridal style.

“Yes, really” Draco says shyly, his cheeks still red and the tip of his ears burning.

“Are you lying to me?" his husband ask narrowing his eyes and the blonde chuckles. Draco leans down to rest their foreheads together “Our rule number, never lie” he says smiling. Harry kisses him “I am so happy Draco!” he grins spinning them around, the blonde laughs “Ah! We’ll fall!” he says between his laughter.

“I am not going to work today” Harry says, walking up the stairs while holding Draco in his arms.

“What!? No!” the blonde says “I’ll wait for you to come home” Harry shakes his head, kicking the door of his their room with his feet “I am sure Ron would be fine by himself” He gently drops the blonde on the bed and sends quick a patronum to his best friends.

“You are a lucky bastard, aren’t you Mr. Potter” Draco whispers huskily, pulling Harry down from his shirt “You wouldn’t even get fired for such a late notice, bloody hero” Harry chuckles, he bends down, pressing his lips against Draco’s cheek, brushing them lightly—and still that light touch sent shivers through Draco’s nerves, shivers that make his whole body tremble. Harry drags his lips, down tracing the line of Draco’s cheekbones then stopping in front of his lips. They stare at one another “The potion is in the drawer” Draco says softly and Harry leans down to press his lips on top on his, in a tender kiss. Draco feels his warm tongue, parting his lips like splitting an apple in half. He hears the sound of the drawer opening and he opens his eyes, turning his head breaking the kiss in process to find Harry’s hand holding a the small bottle of potion in his hands.

“Are you sure about this Draco?” Harry asked, the blonde turned to look at him again. They stare into each other’s eyes, reading through emotions and eventually the blonde gives a sure nod “I am, besides there are at least 80% chances that it won’t work” Draco says “Male pregnancy is difficult, even for purebloods and for most people it works on their third or fourth try”

Harry smiles at him “I am going take care of you baby. I am going to help you through your pregnancy, you won’t be going through this alone. Hell, I’ll take nine months off if I have too! I promise to be there, by your side, never leaving you even for a second” Draco feels his heart melt “I love you Draco, I can’t imagine a family with anyone else. You are my family and with our kids we’ll be completed, I promise to be there with you through every second of our journey. I won’t leave you, ever, I promise” he kisses Draco’s forehead gently before popping the potion open, he moves off the blonde as Draco gets up taking the potion from his husband and gulping it down in a matter of three seconds. His eyes open, travelling up to Harry’s green hungry gaze. Draco tosses the bottle on the floor “Kiss me,” he says as the bottle hits the soft carpet. Harry does. He pushes his lips onto his, in a rough smash his tongue slipping in Draco’s mouth immediately. They were kissing passionately, a drive of hunger completed with lust as Harry pushed him on his back, his platinum hair falling on the feather fluffy pillow. His tongue twirls against Draco’s, gentle but demanding causing every square inch of his body to melt into his. Draco’s pale fingers grip into his curly inked hair, pulling him closer, chest to chest. His veins throb and his poor heart explodes. He can feel Harry’s heart beating against his ribs as they press together, slowly his hands travel down to Draco’s white collar shirt as they continue to kiss. Draco inhale his shaving cream, his shampoo, and that extra scent of light cologne mixed with his body scent which smelled just like him. So delicious, he smells amazing something Draco couldn’t ever imagine, couldn’t ever smell on a different person. His lips taste like honey and coffee which he drank earlier and it’s addictive. His jaw-line has the slightest bits of unshaved hair and it rubs Draco’s skin but he don’t care, he don’t care at all. It’s wonderful, Harry feels wonderful. His hands are everywhere, going over his chest to under his shirt and it doesn’t matter he only want him closer, closer and closer. Harry pulls on his shirt and the blonde lifts himself up to take the shirt off.

His shirt was thrown of the ground “Fuck Draco” Harry voice is deep and raspy, going straight to Draco’s cock and he bites on his moan which was about to leaves his mouth.

Harry bends down and sinks his teeth into the curve of his pale neck sending electrifying jolts of pleasure through Draco’s whole body “That’s not what I want to hear” the man murmurs. He moves his mouth to tug on Draco’s ear then proceeding to nip the path down to his long neck. The blonde bites his lower lip down harder, fighting back the moan bubbling at the back of his throat. Harry watches, dragging his hand down Draco’s chest, sliding his fingers slowly against the other’s pale abdomen. The blonde gasps arching slightly, sucking his breathe in slowly “I want to hear you” Harry smirks, hands pulling his pants off and grabbing Draco’s cock in his hands. 

“F-Fuck” the blonde groans. Harry smirks widens, he bends down and locks his lips with Draco’s pressing into a deep kiss. He runs his thumb against Draco’s cock earning a moan from the beautiful blonde.

“Hmm” Draco hums, his long fingers making a quick work on the buttons of Harry’s shirt and soon joining Draco's clothing on the floor. His hands then reached for Harry's trousers, hooking on the black belt looped around his waist. Harry swing their tongues his and Draco lifting his head slightly every times Harry would pull away from air. The faint brush of Draco’s knuckles against Harry's abdomen nearly brought his heart into his throat. With ‘swipe’ sound, his belt was dropped on the ground with Draco’s hands pulling his black trousers down. The blonde pulled away from the kiss, as they both shuffled out of their pants.

Draco loved the way Harry looked in that moment, pupils blown bigger, only locked at him with insane hunger and the thirst of lust filled in them. Harry tried to control, the twirl off pleasure swirling around his cock as Draco’s grey eyes fall on it. He would come like a randy fourth year if he didn't regain control! Loss of self-control became more likely when Draco flipped them, with Harry falling on the bed and his platinum head bended in between his tanned legs. Those grey eyes looked up at him with the sexiest smirk on his lips which always made Harry’s heart pound against his chest violently “Let me suck you off?” his voice teased, Harry knew Draco loved to play around during sex and he loved every second of it. He nodded, despite the fact that he fully expected to orgasm the instant Draco's lips touched his cock because his husband really did look that tempted. He shut his eyes, flopped his head back onto the soft pillow as his cock twitched in anticipation. His eyes flew open to see Draco’s hands moving at back up of his legs, sliding up slowly. He glared at the man and was rewarded with a grin which melted his heart. Draco held him from the hips, his eyes, watching Harry’s face intently. A light smirk lifted the corner of his lip as he leaned forward and kissed the tip of Harry’s cock. The touch was enough to drive him crazy, instead of taking him deep, Draco teased the tip with his tongue, swirling at it and before he could breathe Draco’s lips were around his cock sucking him in.

“F-Fuck!” Harry groaned tucking his fingers into Draco's soft platinum hair. The blonde took him in deep, the tip of his cock touched the back of Draco’s throat and Harry let out a helpless moan.

“Yes, Draco. Just like that” He says gripping tightly on Draco’s hair, lifting his hips up as the blonde sucked. Harry almost let out a groan of pleasure, but when the blonde started hollowing his cheeks and massaging Harry’s cock, he couldn’t help but to let out a louder groan of pleasure “Fuck, Fuck, baby you are so good” Harry mumbles, he could feel Draco’s lips curving up at the given nick name.

"I can't hold it!" he cried suddenly. Harry thrusted his hips up, as Draco griped his arse tightly with both hands. He twirls his tongue on the tip of Harry’s cock and realised it “You can’t cum, not yet” he says grinning. Harry smiles up at him warmly, his hand lifted and brushed over to the side of Draco's cheek, his thumb lovingly caressed his cheekbone and he lifted himself up to kiss his husband on the lips. He slowly pushed Draco back on the bed, as his lips kissed his cheeks, then his temples, his nose and finally back onto his gorgeous mouth. He kissed, licked, and nipped blazing paths across Draco’s pale skin, feeling the need to mark him, to possess him, to make him his.

 Mine, Harry thought passively as the ex-slytherin arched and gasped when Harry’s teeth brushed through his pink nipples. He felt the urge to bite down where it was obivious to see, to claim a mark to show the world that this beautiful person was his and only his. Though when his husband brought his arms up to cup the back of his head, Harry’s eyes fell on the imprinted Dark Mark. He had been marked enough. Harry turns his head to his arm, his lips landing right on the dark mark. He kisses his way up towards his arm, onto his shoulder, then collar bone. He dragged his lips down kissing the center of his pale chest, the thought gentled him instantly and his kisses softened into teasing flicks with just enough pressure and just enough tender.

"Hmm, Harry" Draco moaned, tugging onto his hair. Harry licked his way down to Draco’s flat stomach, stopping on his belly bottom.

“You should get a belly piercing” He mutter against the small hollow circle. Draco hummed, Harry’s eyes instantly glance up at the sexy sound coming out of his lover’s throat. His pale cheeks were flushed red, his grey eyes filled with lust and bloody hell it took all of Harry’s will power to not to ravish him open with his cock. Draco—bloody hell, how could he look so beautiful and no one should be allow to pant so… so, so _seductively_ enough to run Harry's blood warm like fire.

“Want you in me, Harry” Draco mumbles, words slurred making him sound absolutely breathless. Swearing, Harry reaches to the bottle of lube sitting on top of the wooden drawer. Quickly, he pops the bottle open, squeezing it out on his fingers. Draco let his head droop, trying to breathe deeply rather than fast and shallow. He stares up at the ceiling, jumping nervously as Harry's hands came to rest on his buttocks, spreading them apart with his index finger.

Harry pursed his lips, watching the expression on his husband’s face mixed with pain. Draco let’s out a sound of whimper “Ssh, baby” Harry whispers, moving his finger around as he leans down to pressed a hard kiss on Draco’s forehead. Draco’s arms instantly go around his neck as he kisses the small space of skin between Draco’s browns, to ease them out of those heavy creases formed due to the roughness of the pull of his brows. Harry adds a second finger, expanding his tight hole. Draco gasps, his eyes opening in a snap and Harry sees a shimmer of tears in them as the grip of Draco's fingers get tighter around the neck.

“You are doing so good Draco” he mumbles, kissing the corner of his eyes adding a third finger then moving them around. Draco takes in a shaky breath, he leans up leave a sloppy kiss on Harry’s nose. The man smiles at him and he slowly starts to pumps his finger in and out. Draco moans, his face shifting from pain to pleasure and Harry feels his heart flutter. His long pale arms pull the man down resting their foreheads together. Harry pumped his fingers faster, pushing harder and adding more force with each thrust.

“Ah, H-Har”

His moans are enough to drive Harry mental, so enticing, so alluring.

“Can I?” Harry asked “Are you ready” he knows his voice sound desperate but the look on Draco’s face the pleasure swirling on his features makes him look so edible. He can’t help it, his husband is so stunning. So beautiful. He sighs happily when Draco nods his head “Yes Harry, ready, so ready” he says between his gasps. Harry chuckles, he places a quick kiss on his husband’s nose before grabbing the lube in his hands again. He squeezes the bottle and toss it onto the other side of the bed, then rubbing the cream on his cock as fast, urgently he could. He shifted his legs, his left hand coming to rest on the pillow beside Draco’s head as his right hand grabbed onto his cock. He moved it until the head of his cock was nudging against Draco's entrance body, sticky with lube.

 "Ready?" he asked, his eyes never leaving Draco, even for a second.

"Uh huh." Draco simultaneously gritted his teeth and tried to relax, breathing out a puff of air from the bottom of his lungs. He felt Harry pushing against him, his thick cock stretching him open and then a burst of pain exploding through him as Harry thrust past the tight ring of muscle, slowly entering his body. He hears Harry whispering in his ear, telling him to breathe and Draco tries to calm himself, looking at the ceiling trying to blink away the burn in his eyes. God, it’s been so long since they had sex, no wonder he feels like a virgin again. Harry pushes up “Ssh” he mutters “I am almost in” He pushed further in, and Draco whined in pain, head falling to rest on the pillow, gasping for breath. Harry kisses his temples softly, his hands stroking the side of his waist gently as Draco arched up, gripping onto the bedsheet tightly.

"Breathe Draco” Harry groans, narrowing his eyes and dragging his lower lip under his teeth as Draco’s hole squeezes around his sensitive cock. The blonde takes in a deep breathe, as Harry keeps himself still, letting him get used to the feeling of being filled. It hurts. Just like the first time they did time, all those years. When they were still in Hogwarts, when they were still teenagers. It felt like he'd been split in two, there were tears in his eyes and for a miserable minute Draco thought he couldn’t do it, that he'd have to beg Harry to pull out. Though, from experience he knew that this pain was just temporary, he knew it was worth for the upcoming pleasure. Harry watched his husband intensely, Draco’s chest rose up and down heavily and he patiently waited for the blonde to give him a sign. Gradually, after a while which felt like years but probably last for less than five seconds, Harry found Draco breathing normally again.

"Okay." Draco lifted his head to look at his husband, feeling weak he nodded his head “I'm okay."

From above Harry laughed, it was a gentle sound, Draco assumed it was due to the relief of moving again.

"I’ll make you feel so good, that the only word on your lips would be my name" Harry promised, pulling his cock out and thrusting in quickly. Draco gasped, slowly, Harry drew out again before sliding back in, smooth and mostly careful.

 “Oh God-d, Har-ry” He moans loudly. Draco swallowed convulsively, hands gripped around the sheets as Harry continued to thrust in and out, hands braced on his legs, pushing into the his tightness of Draco's body again and again.

“F-Faster, Har-rder” Draco pleases through his moans. Harry picks up his pace, thrusting into him with strength, pushing his hip faster and slamming into his husband harder. Draco’s hands fly up, wrapping around Harry’s back, his nails digging in his tanned muscles. He didn’t think it was physically possible for Harry to go any deeper, but now he could feel the man dip down more, spreading his legs further making Draco wrap them around his hips.

It gradually got easier, and Draco found after a while he was rocking back onto him with the same insane fast rhythm.

Draco was starting to shake a little, he dragged his nails down Harry’s back and the man groans going faster and harder. He felt a bubble of warmth building in his stomach coiling into the promise of approaching orgasm, when Harry abruptly pulled all the way out, leaving Draco blinking in surprise.

“I want you to ride me” Harry said and the blonde felt his heart leap to his throat. He nodded, as Harry flipped them with Draco hovering over him. He climbed onto his lap, bending down to leave a sloppy kiss on his husband’s lips. The sweat rolled down their bodies, the air smelled like sex as Harry half closed his eyes when Draco slowly lowered himself onto his cock. His mouth opened in pleasure with his hands coming  to tuck around Draco's hips, holding him firmly for support.

Draco whimpered slightly at the fresh spike of pain, but the feeling of having Harry back inside him made up for it, filling him up immediately. Biting his lower lip with his teeth, he lowered himself all the way down, and was rewarded with a dashing grin from Harry.

"That's my little kitty." He slid his arms round Draco’s waist and pulled him closer till their lips joined together. Harry kissed him, lingering and filthy, fingers gripping and digging into Draco's hips as his hands moved around his curved arse. Draco kissed him back with the same passion, same energy as his heart pounding against his ribs. God, he loved this man. He loved him so much.

"Sit back, will you?” Draco smirked pushing Harry back making his husband fall on the pillow. He slowly trailed his fingers up the abdomen line on Harry’s stomach, as those green eyes watched him hungrily “I’ll give you a ride of your life, Potter” Draco murmured in his ear and Harry swallowed loudly at the use of his last name.

Draco putts his hands on Harry’s chest, pushing himself up as his hands slowly drag down to his stomach, stopping there. Their eyes were filled with lust, with Draco’s knees resting against the bed. He lifts himself up then falling down on Harry's hard cock. A gasp escapes Harry’s lips, filled with the burst of pleasure and Draco smirks moving his hips faster. He uses his thighs to rise up again, and slams back down against Harry's legs, again and again. Harry cants his hips upwards to meeting Draco's down stroke, they find a rhythm that is mutual and all-consuming. Pleasure burst through his abdomen, his cock leaks as he rocks upwards, losing himself entirely in the here and now.

"Fuck… Fuck…" Harry gasps, their bodies slippery with heavy sweat. He moved a hand in between them and started jerking Draco's cock with quick and rough strokes.

Draco whimpered again, although this time it wasn’t in pain. Harry watched him, how his body beautifully moved above him. His eyes fluttered closed, with a heavy blush on his cheeks and mouth open slightly in pleasure. Oh God, so beautiful. Draco was so beautiful, he felt so lucky in that moment. So lucky and grateful.

“Come for me baby” Harry mutters, pumping Draco’s cock faster as the pressure of his own build up on the tip on his cock “Come” he orders, moving his hand faster, squeezing Draco’s cock and with a cry of pleasure he was shooting his load all over Harry’s chest.

"Fuck, I Love you," Harry groaned, and suddenly rammed himself up hard into Draco's body, once, twice, three times, rough and demanding. Draco’s breathe caught in his throat. He feels the tightness of Harry’s cock inside him and with his fingers digging on his pale hips painfully Harry comes deeply inside him.

Draco’s body fall on Harry's chest, legs burning with effort, chest heaving. Harry’s arm come around him immediately as he nuzzles his nose in his platinum hair, kissing him gently. They stay in that position, trying to catch their breath. Draco looks into Harry’s eyes and his husband grins at him widely. His arms tighten around him before pulling him down in a rough kiss on the mouth. Draco feels the cum leaking out of his hole and he pushes himself up, getting off Harry’s lap. They roll on the bed, laughing with Harry still inside him and just kissing.

Harry pulls him in his arms, as they lay side to side. He feels a tickle of cum rolling down his butt cheek “Ugh” Draco groans pulling away from the kiss, looking at his legs which were dripping with sticky cum. His nose wrinkles in disgust and he hears Harry snort from the side, pushing out of him. Draco grabs his wand from the side table, he cast a cleaning charm on himself and glances to his handsome husband “No way, I am going to put up with your cuddle with all the cum and sweat” he says swinging his wand over Harry and casting the charm on him as well.

"Cheeky bastard. Come here." Harry says with a grin, pulling the blonde man down, into his arms. Once Draco was tucked snugly into his arms, Harry lifted his hand up and turned the light off with a snap of his finger.

"Show off" Draco murmured against Harry’s chest. The raven man chuckles, his chest vibrated against Draco's flushed cheeks “Only for you” he says and a small smile falls on Draco’s lips. He looks up and captures Harry’s lips in a lazy kiss, wrapping his legs around the other man’s legs. They broke the kiss and Draco buried his face in Harry's neck, snuggling into his husband’s warmth. Harry wrapped his arms around him, holding him close and Draco hugged him back as they both drifted off to a dreamless, peaceful sleep.

It was dark when Draco opened his eyes, to find Harry watching him with a faint smile.

"Morning sleepy head," His husband says rubbing his nose in his platinum hair and Draco laughed. Harry pressed a hard kiss to his forehead “It’s almost dinner” he mutters, resting their forehead together. Draco’s eyes snap open, he glances to the window, behind Harry to see the sun had set to night. Groaning, he remembers that they had barely completed breakfast, before jumping on the bed again.

"Will you be cooking?"

"Nah, not really, I like your cooking better."

Draco rolled his eyes “Sure, like I don’t know about your laziness, tell me how did you become an Auror?” he asked in a teasing tone as their feet played together. Harry nuzzled his nose against his “With a huge amount of luck and effort” he replies, kissing the tip of Draco’s nose.

“Uhm” the blonde lets out a low whimpered, which sounded more like a whine "Bit sore."

"Head or arse?"

"Both," Draco confessed, and Harry sniggered earning himself a soft punch from his husband. The man pouts at him and Harry can’t help but to kiss those rosy lips, again.

He pulls back, just a little to capture the other man’s beautiful grey eyes "Fine, you win" Harry says smiling “I’ll cook” and Draco rewards him with a heart melting smile which completely takes his breathe away, making him feel as if he has fallen in love with this man all over again.

“God, help me” he whispers before leaning down to kiss his beautiful husband again.

**14 th February, Wednesday, 2000**

Harry knows Draco has a 12 hour shift, his beautiful husband had left for work at 6:00 am just so he could make it back for a dinner date with Harry for Valentines. He hums as he drops a red rose in the small vase at the center of the table. He glances at the clock it’s almost five after six, Draco should be getting home soon. He lights the candles with a wave of his hand, turning around to head towards the oven to set up the dinner.

It’s 6:30 now and Harry sits on the chair, twirling his fork when the door clicks open and he jumps out of his seat as Draco walks in the house looking as dead as ghost.

“Hey” The blonde says softly, loosening his tie “Sorry I am late, got caught up with a bleeding Auror at the last minute” Harry shakes his head and puts his arms around Draco bring the man in a warm hug “You are just on time” he whispers kissing leaning his head down to kiss his temples “Dinner is ready”

Draco smiles up at him and tips his toes up to capture his husband in a sweet kiss, all of his frustration of the long day vanishing away with in the air as he losses himself in that tender kiss.

“You’re so beautiful, the only beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” Harry says and Draco blinks up him “I love your voice and everything to do with you, the way you talk down to the way you walk. When you are in the room my eyes only watch you, they only follow you and it’s so hard for me to pay attention to anything else. I am scared that I won’t ever get tired of watching you. I wish I had loved you sooner. I really love you.” He finishes with a boyish grin and Draco’s heart melts into warm, no words could describe how lucky he felt in that moment. He only tip up and kissed his husband with all the passion, pouring every bits of his emotions in the kiss.

**7 th April, Friday, 2000**

Harry wraps his arms around Draco’s waist from the back, tickling him in the stomach.

“A-Ah!” Draco screams, laughter bubbling out of him “S-Stop!” he bends down, curling around his husband as Harry grins, tickling him more “Not until you say yes”

“Never!” Draco shots, tears almost sliding down his tears. Harry’s eyes sparkled with challenges, his finger move down to his belling, tickling him in the sensitive spot “Say it Draco! I can do this forever” he really can, not because he wants Draco to agree to meet the Weasley family again but because he wants to hear more of the beautiful laughter of his husband.

“B-But, We-e-easl-l-lette is-” he can’t finish his sentence because his laughter takes over though Harry knows what the next words were going to be. They fall on the carpet of their living, as Harry hovers over him, tickling him till the man agrees. Yes, Ginny Weasley is going to be there, because after two years she’ll be returning from America from her Auror healing training camp and the whole get-together is to welcome her.

“I only have eyes for you, I promise.” Harry says

“Fine! You bastard, fine!” Draco finally agrees, pushing Harry’s hands away from his stomach “I hate you” he says grumpily, his brows crossed as he pouts his lips. Harry chuckles leaning down to press his lips against his husband.

“I love you” Harry says, making Draco blush but the blonde doesn’t say it back, he feels too embraced to say it. It isn’t long before their small kisses turns into a make out session and Harry’s scooping Draco is his arms again, to lead them in the bedroom.

*

“Harry! Draco!” Hermione’s loud happy voice calls out to them, as soon as the door swings open. She jumps on them, hugging them in her arms tightly “Oh, I missed you two” she says. Five years, Draco thinks, if five years ago Hermione Granger had hugged him like this he would have taken her to St. Mungo’s.

“Missed you too Hermione” he says hugging her back, his mind takes him to Pansy and he is instantly missing her presence. Though, he met her just two days ago, so he brushes the feeling away thinking that he’s going to meet her and Blaise again next week, again.

“Come! You guys are so late” She says huffing, pulling them in and locking the door “Everyone is here you know, even Ginny” and Draco feels himself stiffen slight in the mention of Harry’s ex-girlfriend who he was sure still loved _his_ husband call it a gut feeling or insecurities, but, he knew. He quickly schools his expression with a fake smiles as Harry says “Sorry for the wait”

They enter the living room which is filled with many red head and flickers.

“Harry!” Ron Weasley says jumping off the sofa “Draco!” he adds after as his eyes lands on the blonde next. They all have a warm greeting and Draco looks around the room to see the girl Weasley missing from the crowd. Spoken to soon, he hears louds steps rushing down the stairs and turns his head to see a grown red-head women dressed in a sexy short black lace dress with a deep v neck exposing her boobs, running towards his man.

“Harry!” The women says jumping on his husband, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him in a tender hug. Draco curls his fingers in a tight fist as he watches Harry’s wide eyes “G-Ginny!?” he shuttered. He hugs her back. Tightly. As if two lover, different apart. Draco sends a glare at his husband who is too busy looking at another women, who happens to be his _ex._  

“Look at you!” Harry says pulling away “I almost didn’t recognize you!” he says grinning. Draco watches as the Weaslette gives a laugh, which sounds annoying to his ears, but he feels his blood boil more, when Harry’s eyes keep dragging back to her exposed chest.

  _Relax, Draco. He’s your husband, you two are married, what do you have to fear for?_ He reminds himself, shaking his head and for a minute his heart clams down.

“Hello Ginny” he hates her name on his tongue, but he can’t call her _Weasley_ since there more the ten standing before him at the moment. The women turns her head, her smile breaking off immediately “Malfoy” she says, her voice hard and firmed and Draco swore that those blue eyes were digging glares at him. His heart almost stops when Harry grabs her hands “So Ginny! Tell me all about your training and your stay in America” he says, holding her by the waist and walking her to the dining table. Draco looks away, forcing himself to smile as he looks at Hermione “Where is little Rose?” he asked her, titling his head.

“Oh, she’s still sleeping” Hermione says smiling as they followed after Harry and Ginny into the dining room with Ron’s arm swinging on his shoulder.

Draco tries to engage himself in the conversation throughout the dinner, but all he could see was Harry and Ginny sitting way too close for his liking as his husband chatted with her. Rose had woken up, during dinner and she was now seated on his lap as Draco played with her. She was an adorable healthy child, only two months old and Draco absolutely adored her. He mostly kept his eyes on her when he wasn’t talking as he pretended to ignore the little world Harry and Weaslette had created, involving no one in their conversation. He hated how she laughed at Harry’s jokes, how her hand rested on his lap, it’s almost like they were flirting. He was proud of himself for putting up a strong mask, hoping that it was convincing enough to show their bonding didn’t bother him.

He engaged himself with Charlie Weasley talking about a common interest on Dragons. Normally, this would have annoyed his husband since Charlie not too long ago confessed that he has more than just 'friends' feeling for Draco but today it seems Harry didn’t care. From the corner of his eyes he watched his husband and Ginny stand up.

“We are going out for some air” Harry said.

“Alright, mate” He hears Ron says and Draco’s heart drops, when Ginny wraps her hands around Harry’s arms. He looks at his husband, hoping to meet his eyes and him the gaze which strictly told him, _no, don’t you dare_ but of course Harry didn’t look at him because he was too busy looking at Weaslette’s big boobs hugging his muscular arms.

“Draco? Are you okay?” he hears Charlie ask him, quickly he turns his head and gives the man a assuring smile “Of course, so tell me how long are you staying till you leave again?” The red head sighs “25th of July, and I am off to Australia” Draco’s eyes widen “That’s very far” he says and Charlie nods at him.

“It’s worth it though” he says shrugging his shoulders “I heard there’s a new species of Dragons there, which no one has seen before. So, I’ll be taking all of my team with me, we are just looking for a healer. I am hoping to convince Gin.” Draco nods his head, his eyes occasionally flipping to the entrance of the living room, hopping for Harry to come back.

Its 30 minutes later when Harry walks back in with Ginny and Draco’s eyes widen as he takes his appearance in. The man looks blown away, his lips red and his black curly hair looking messier than before. He glances at the girl Weasley to see a heavy blush on her cheeks as she walks forward to grab her seat, her straight scarlet hair now holding some loops and twist. He looks back at Harry and sees the blown green pupils. His heart stops. He’s seen that look before, many times.

_No._

_No._

_No._

_Stop it, you are just paranoid. It’s not what you think it is._

_Stop Draco, stop thinking._

“Draco!” the shout of Charlie’s voice drags him out of his train of thought. He looks at the man to see that he was painfully digging his fingers in Charlie’s tight “shit! Sorry Charlie” Draco says quickly, pulling his hand away. He could feel all the eyes on him “I-I am just really tired, didn’t get enough sleep last night” he lies, rubbing his eyes and faking a yawn. Charlie gives him an odd look, a frown pulling up his lips and Draco wants nothing but to run home.

“Oh my, you should get home then dear. Do you have work tomorrow?” Ms. Weasley asks him and Draco nods his head.

“Then, let’s go home” he hears Harry’s voice from across the table and he nods his head at the man.

“What!? No, it’s too early” Ginny says quickly, holding _his_ Harry by his hands. Draco hates her whining voice more, he lifts himself off the chair and hands Rose back to Hermione. She smiles at him, then pulling him in a small hug “Good night Draco, feel better” Hermione says smiled and he nods his head at her, giving her a smiled.

“Sorry Gin, but Draco is tired” he hears the red-head girl snort “Maybe, we can hang out later?” Draco wants to smack him for even suggesting the idea. She beams at him “Of course Harry!” with a smile she pulls him in a hug and Draco choses to hide his face in the curve of Ron’s neck feeling lucky that the man is taller than him. They say their goodbyes to the rest to the family and Harry walks up to Draco, to put an arm around his waist.

“Well, have a goodnight everyone” He says leaning his head and resting it on top of Draco’s platinum hair. The urge to push the man away is strong, and he hates himself for leaning in the welcoming warmth of Harry’s body.

 “Bye, Harry, Draco” the Weasley family says. Draco glances at the Weaslette to see a dark expression marrying her face and with a flash they disappear. His feet touches the comfort of his room and Draco let’s out a sigh pulling himself away from Harry’s grip. He blinks when he’s suddenly stopped by a strong hand and turns around to see Harry holding him by his hand. Instead of using his words, he arches his brow and Harry leans forward. Draco knows what’s coming towards him as Harry’s face gets closer and closer to him. In that moment, he wants nothing but to push the man away from him, but, he doesn’t. He can’t. He loves him. He loves Harry so much, that it hurts. It hurts so bad, that right now he feels as if his heart has been ripped open by a wolf.

 So when their lips meet, his heart aches a little more than before, a little more than what he felt when Harry and Weaslette walked back in the room looking like a hot mess. Draco lets Harry’s finger, slip clothes off him. He lets him push him on the bed and hover over him.

“Uh, love you Draco” Harry whispers against his lips and Draco’s heart aches as the man pushes his cock in him. Thick tears slip out of his eyes and he isn’t sure what his reason for crying is. The pain of being ripped open by Harry’s cock? Or how neglected he felt during the dinner? Was he being possessive? That’s not good… He feels Harry’s lips kissing his tears away one by one “I love you so much” He says again and Draco feels his heart healing yet no words come out of his mouth so he cups his husband’s face and pulls him in a hot kiss.

**15 th May, Monday, 2000**

Its four weeks after, when he starts to notice the large amount of night shifts Harry was getting. He finds himself waiting for his handsome, loveable husband on nights that he is home. Trying to stay awake for him, but Harry never comes home and Draco falls asleep waiting for him.

He groans, eyes opening “Sorry, I woke you up” he hears Harry’s voice. Draco shakes his head, realising that he’s in Harry’s arms.

“You fell asleep on the sofa again” Harry says. Draco rest his head against Harry’s chest “Was waiting for you” he mumbles as his husband gently puts him on the sofa. He opens his arms and Harry takes his shirt up bending down in the embrace.

“I…” Draco says, heart pounding him his chest. Harry hums in his ear “I love you” he says quietly and for a second his heart freezes. He waits for Harry to reply, to say it back but no words come to him. Harry only rolls off him, and pulls his body in a tight embrace before falling asleep. It takes a long time before Draco falls asleep himself.

Harry was about to leave “I’ll be coming home late today” Draco says looking up at the man.

“Why?” Harry asked titling his head and the blonde sighs “The Auror team wants to do a night investigation” he says shrugging his shoulders. Harry nods his head and comes around to kiss his forehead “Be safe” he says turning around.

“Ah. Wait” Draco says quickly and Harry turns around to look at him “I love you” he says cheeks flushed as blood runs to his ears. Harry blinks his eyes at him and with a nod he apparated away leaving a very dis-hearted Draco behind. It’s the week after he realises that they haven’t kissed in a time of six hours, normally they are on to one another or rather Harry taking every chance he gets to kiss him, anywhere, everywhere.

Its three days after, when they are rolling on the bed together, naked. Throughout the whole night, when Harry made love to him, he couldn’t help but to think that other than moans and groans nothing else escaped from their lips. No words of wanting nor words of love were exchanged and in the quietness of the night Draco wonder when the air had shifted so much that their love making had changed into just fucking.

“I love you Harry” Draco says when Harry falls on top of him, sliding his cock out. The man rolls off him, his hands only coming around Draco’s body to pull him in a hug. When he’s sure that Harry’s asleep, in his ear he whispers “I love you. I love you” a single tear drops down from his chin “Come back to me, I love you.”

He couldn’t help but to wonder, is this how Harry felt when he wasn’t answering his ‘I love you’s’ back then? Is this Harry’s way off getting him back?

 _It’s okay, everything will be okay soon_ he tells himself, as he tries to fall asleep.

**16 th June, Friday, 2000**

Draco tries to dress up today, he specially took a day off today just for Harry knowing that his husband also had a day off. Though he had to work extra hours to get a day off, he feels like it would be worth it “Harry lets go out on a date today” He says smiling sitting in front of his husband.

“Not today, I am meeting up with someone” Harry says sipping on his coffee.

“O-Oh, who?” Draco asked, putting the mug off tea down.

“Ginny” Harry says without even glancing up at him. Draco feels his heart leap down to his stomach, an ugly feeling twirling around it making him feel noxious “Surly you can re-sheculde, I took a day off for you Harry” He says, grabbing Harry’s hand in his and squeezing them lightly.

“I can’t, I already made plans with her. It would be rude to cancel”

“But I cancel last minute plans with Pansy and Blaise when you ask me too”

Harry looks up at him, he roughly pulls his hands away from his grip “That’s not my problem” he says through his teeth, the blonde opens his mouth “I said, I can’t. Don’t you understand?” Harry says with annoyance and brows crossed.

Draco blinks at him, slowly he pulls his hands away, tucking them under the table “O-Okay Harry” he nods his head “perhaps another time?”

“Maybe”

Draco bites his lower lip, his heart aches so much that he thinks it’s going to explode with all the pain. Though he doesn’t cry, at least not in front of Harry.  

“I’ll be leaving then” Harry says getting off from his chair, Draco nods he comes across the table and cups his cheeks pulling him down in a kiss. Harry doesn’t kiss him back. “I love---“ _I love you_ “Be safe” he says with smile and with a nod Harry is gone.

**28 th June, Wednesday, 2000**

Draco was excited, Harry was finally home for the night and they were curled up on the sofa watching a muggle movie.

“I am tried, I am going to bed” Harry says, pushing Draco off him with a yawn.

“O-Oh, okay. I’ll come too” Harry blinks, then nods as they head to bed. That night, they didn’t make love but it’s okay they didn’t need to have sex constantly. At least he was still wrapped around in Harry’s warm arms. He leans up and kisses Harry’s chin “I love you” he whispers in a hush tone, before falling asleep in those heavy arms.

Draco watches as Harry leaves the table again, without telling him where he’s going. He’s starting to hurt deeply, he doesn’t understand why Harry’s like they aren’t a couple anymore, like they aren’t married. He doesn’t understand why Harry won’t smile at him anymore as often. Why he won’t hug nor kiss him as much as he did before. Why they haven’t talked properly in over two weeks, he doesn’t understand why he’s only calling him ‘Draco’ now instead of ‘Baby’. He doesn’t understand anything.

**3 rd July, Monday, 2000**

“Congratulations Mr. Malfoy you are, one weeks pregnant” the wave of happiness rushes through his veins as Pansy launches herself on him, embracing him in a tight hug yet all he could thing about was how happy Harry would be when he finds out about the news. After saying a very quick goodbye to his best-friend, Draco goes home immediately feeling excited off the pregnancy leave for three years from work while getting paid. Male pregnancy is very difficult so they normally get a longer time off then women from work. He cooks all of Harry’s favourite dishes and waits for his husband to come home already so that he can tell him the good news. Though, Harry doesn’t come home. _Its fine Draco, he’s at work, he’s busy you can tell him tomorrow_ he tells himself, trying to lift up his gloomy heart. Damn, now he knows why he has been felling like an emotional high school teenager drama queen recently.

*

“Harry” Draco calls to him placing a plate of pancakes in front of the man.

“Hmm” the man says without looking at him and Draco bites his lower lip excitement bubbling in the pit of his stomach.

“Do you remember about the pregnancy potion?” Harry looks up at him “I wanted to-

“Draco” the man cuts him off “I think we should stop using the potion”

“O-Oh, but Harry I-

“I said no!” Draco blinks at him, at his high voice. He watches the way Harry has crossed his brows, face screaming with annoyances. Draco grips is fork, lifting his eyebrow up “Why?” he asked curiously.

Harry gives him a stare “Because I don’t want a child anymore” he says pushing his chair back and living the blonde alone in the kitchen. Draco feel his heart beating fast in his chest, as he barely grabs on what happened before him. Standing up, he runs after Harry and bursts into their room.

“What changed your mind?” he asked looking at his husband as he changed his clothes into Auror robes.

“I just don’t want one plus you can’t get pregnant even after multiple tries” Harry says closing the buttons of his robes.

“But Harr-

“WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY!?” Draco violently jolts at the harsh and loud tone of the other’s voice “I said NO! God damn it” Harry says gritting his teeth, giving Draco a heated glare. He’s frozen on the door, he can’t move all he can do is stare at the man standing before him. Harry angrily grabs his wand and brushed by Draco, without saying a goodbye or without giving in a kiss, he’s gone. Draco swallows, his throat closing up and for the first time in five year they had their very first fight. That night Draco curls himself in the blanket, crying silent tears till sleep finally takes over him.

*

“Draco… listen, I didn’t mean to yell at you last night” Harry says coming around to warp his arms around Draco’s waist “I am sorry for shouting” he whispers in his ear and Draco thinks when was the last time Harry actually held him this? When was the last time he pulled him in a hug and showed affection? He feels his pain wash away little by little, ready to forget that this change in Harry ever happened.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to push you” Draco whispers, he was about to lean back in Harry’s warmth when his husband pulls away from him.

“Don’t wait for me” Harry says “I have an over-night mission today”

Draco blinks “Mission?” he asks staring into those green eyes and Harry nods his head. Draco sucks his lower lip in and bites down at it “Alright”- _I love you- “_ be safe” he says walking away to their room.

It was about 6:00 pm when he gets a floo call from Ron “Hey mate” the red head says and Draco stares at his face.

“Hey…” he says trailing off “Aren’t you on a mission with Harry?” Draco asks titling his head. Ron gives him a confused “What mission? Today’s our day off”

It’s like someone has punched Draco’s stomach as it painful twist almost making him vomit sending waves of panic rushes to his brain making him feel noxious.

“Are you okay mate? You look a bit pale” Ron asks and Draco barely manages to draw his voice out “I-I was about to take a nap. I am feeling a little under the weather today” he says trying to calm his violent heart beats down. Ron send him a nod of sympathy “Aw, I was about to ask you and Harry to come over for dinner but if you aren’t feeling well then go rest” he says and the blonde nods his head gratefully.

“Thanks, have a goodnight Ron” Draco says

“You too mate” and with that the Weasley cuts off the floo connection as Draco rushes upstairs to the washroom to take a long hot shower.

*

On the nights when Harry is home, they don’t sleep in each other’s arms anymore and Draco numbly watches as weeks turn into a month. He can’t take it anymore “I am going over to Pansy and Blaise for the weekend” Draco says as Harry steps forward to leave the house. He watches, and waits for him to stop, to tell him ‘no, don’t go, stay with me’ but all he hears is “Okay” and after that Harry walks out of the house. He packs his bag, with some clothes and grabs his tooth brush before flooing over to their house.

“Draco!” Pansy shouts at him, her voice sounding panicked “Why are you crying!?” it isn’t until he touches his cheeks to feel the wetness and he realises that she is right. Before Blaise and Pansy could wrap their arms around him, he breaks down in a helpless cry falling right down on the ground. It’s after their many attempts and hours of trying to calm him down, when Draco finally opens up. He tells them everything, from the day of his visit to the Weasley house till the moment Harry walked out of the house giving him the cold shoulder.

“That _fucking_ bastard!” Blaise looks like he’s about to murder someone, he turns his head towards Pansy who looks like that she’s about to murder his husband.

“HOW dare he!!?” Pansy yell her voice rage, eyes flaming with anger. She grabs his hand “We are going to him and you will ask him what the bloody fuck is his problem” Pansy says pushing Draco off the sofa, while holding his arm.

“Wa-!? No, it’s night, he’s never home at nights” Draco says, but she still drags him to the floo.

“I really don’t give a fuck! We are going to find him, if he isn’t home!” she screams as Blaise nods at her. The floo is big enough to fit the three of them in together and before Draco could argue “12 Grimmauld place” is yelled out by Blaise as he drops the powder on the ground.

*

“A-AH! Harry! Harder a-ah HARDER!”

Draco’s eyes widen, he feels the slow beat of his heart and then it completely stops beating as those green eyes turn to look at him. On the sofa, right in front of him was his husband laying onto top of Ginny Weasley with his cock inside her pussy. There’s a moment of silence in the air and then all he hears is Harry’s weak voice “N-No, it’s no

“YOU fucking BASTARD!!” Blaise shouts, growling and pointing his wand at the Harry. Draco bends “I-I can’t breathe” he says pulling on Blaise’s shirt, as he hold his stomach with his other hand.

“I can’t breathe!” he shouts, huffing his breathe in and out rapidly trying his best to grab on as much air as possible. Pansy is by his side instantly, rubbing his back with her hands “Draco! Draco!!” she says, her voice filled with anxiety and worry.

“P-Pan” he feels his vision getting blurry, lips feeling colder than usual and in that split second before Blaise apparating him away he sees the horrid look on Harry’s face.

**4 th July, Tuesday, 2000**

Draco opens his eyes to find many faces in the room.

“Draco!” he hears, turning his head he sees Hermione holding his hand and Pansy holding his other. He groans, what happened. He just had to ask himself that, didn’t he? In a flash his last memories appear right before his eyes. He scans the room, his heart beat rising up and then his eyes lands on those familiar green eyes which were already staring at him.

“D-Draco” Potter steps away from the white wall he was leaning on. Hurt, anger, disappointment, betrayal and… hatred. Such strong hatred rushed through his system that Draco feels his heart burning with rage and blood boiling with ire.

Draco knots his brows together furiously “Get out” he says, voice raspy and dry.

“Draco, please-

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT!” a flash of hurt washes through Potter’s face. Draco growls, how dare he look hurt “GET OUT!” he shouts again making the man jolt.

“Liste- He covers his ears “GET THE FUCK OUT POTTER” the lines of his heartbeat tracking by the monitor above him rises up almost quickly. Blaise pushes Hermione out of the way, coming to holding Draco “Shh, Draco clam down baby”

Pansy growls “Get the fuck out Potter” she says, voice as disgusted as Draco feels.

“Harry, let’s go” Ron says turning on his heel and grabbing his best friend by his arm “N-No, Draco _please_ -

The windows explodes. Draco hasn’t lost control of his magic like this in years, he’s never felt this angry before and he’s sure he must look terrifying in that moment because everyone in the room takes a quick step back. Draco’s magic crackles through the air, showing electric waves of blue line as his skin buzzes and the hair on his arms rise up in goosebumps.

“Get out,” he says voice low, eyes glaring into those stunned green ones.

“Draco,” Harry begins---

 “GET OUT!” he screams, and the glass of bulb on the roof burst, shattering into many pieces. There’s a moment of silence as everyone stare at him in shock, never has he shown such amount of power and magic before. He growls at Potter’s shocked face and it wasn’t long till the pointer screen also shattered into piece.

“Harry! GET OUT!” Hermione shouts at him and Draco watches with disgust as Ron pulls a very shocked Harry out of the room. Pansy quickly grabs a tissue and wipes his nose, when she pulls the tissue all he sees is it damped with red blood.

He cups his face, bringing his knees up refusing to cry in front of so many people. He feels Blaise pulling him in a tight hug, and he takes a deep breathe in. He pushes the man away from him, his heart empty and shattered as he blocks every emotion, locking them away in the core of his heart.

“Draco…” Hermione whispers coming closer to him. She grabs his hand and Draco looks up at her with just blank grey eyes “Don’t. Don’t do this, please don’t lock yourself away” Hermione says her eyes watering “My heart is breaking into piece watching you look so… so lifeless” He blinks at her but doesn’t say a word, his mind is too much off a mess to even think properly. He thinks back to many weeks ago when Harry started to get ‘night’ shifts, a dry almost a soundless laugh leaves his lips “All the sighs were there” he says looking into the space of the darkest abyss “All the bloody signs were there and I was too much off a coward to see through them” He says rubbing his eyes, blinking the burn of his eyes away.

“He can’t do this to me” Hermione squeezes his hand, her face looked miserable as if she was guilty, ashamed of her cheating best friend.

“Harry can’t do this to me” The shockwaves of grief and denial mixed with anger as his brain urges him to grab on the reality shakes every bone in his body and his face breaks into crumbles, breaking down every bits of his features. Draco bites his lower lip, holding his unshed tears back, _refusing_ to cry and Hermione pulls him in a tight hug. Right when she opens her mouth, most likely to offer sympathetic words the door swings open and two red- heads walk in the room.  

“Ron, Charlie?” Hermione voice says “what are you doing here?”

“Draco” Charlie’s voice sounds gentle and he feels the man coming up to him “I am so sorry Draco” He glances at Charlie, who looks blank the only expression on his face was anger. The man then walks forward and wraps his arms around him and Draco closes his eyes taking in his cologne. He smells nothing like Harry, he thinks.

*

**6 th July, Thursday, 2000**

“What the fuck do you want?” Draco said, his voice deathly low as he glared at the man standing before him in the living room of Zabini Manor. Harry’s constant visit and begging to Pansy to see the blonde was driving Draco mental, so today after three painful days he finally decide to meet his arsehole of a husband.

“Draco I am sorry! Okay, please forgive me” Harry pleaded, running up to Draco and grabbing his arm but the blonde roughly yanked it away, giving his husband a light growl “Don’t you fucking touch me” he shouts, pushing Harry away from him. They made eye contact and Draco bits his lower lip trying not to burst into tears.

“Draco… Baby-

“The fuck have you been playing at? Did you think it was fun, jerking me around like that?” He says his voice low and raspy. Harry looks at him with wide eyes, his mouth open then shuts, his brain unable to form words testing Draco’s patients.

His fists are clenched and Draco opens his mouth to let out a chocking sound, he swallows the lump in his throat “Has it,” he continues, tone no less savage, “been entertaining for you? Huh, Potter?” Harry flinches at the cold tone “Playing house with me like that, like the perfect little husband you were suppose to be?” Harry clenches his grey pants in his fist, fingers bunching up the fabric and twisting his fist, creating horrible creases. The guilt and disgust roiling away inside him are almost enough to make him want to throw up. “No, I – ” he begins to explain, to do something, to say anything but Draco cuts him off. “There is nothing,” he hisses, eyes glaring “You can say to me that I want to hear from you. Get out.”

Harry looks at him, eyes swirling with pain and hurt, he takes a step forward “Draco, please, I just – ”

“Shut up!” The blonde roars, and it rattles the photo frames on the walls, through the glass windows and the chandeliers. Harry jolts at the wave of heavy magic coming out of Draco’s body “Get out,” he hisses. “I never want to see you again.” Draco says turning on his heels, walking away as the tears start to leak down his eyes. Glad that he has his back to show Potter, as if he has already been forgotten.

Later that evening, he sits on his bed, with Pansy walking in his room and wrapping her arms around him as he pretends he isn’t crying. Draco buries his face in Pansy’s neck, glad that he’s still got her that he’ll always have his friends, and he must have said that out loud, because Pansy’s hugging him tighter and telling him he’s an idiot for saying that. Saying, of course she and Blaise are never going to go anywhere, not without him. When she finally leaves, it’s a long night, with rough and sharp turns on the bedsheet, even after everything all Draco could think was how cold the bed felt without Harry sleeping beside him.

*

“Draco! Your depression is not good for the baby!” Blaise shouts at him “You need to eat more!” he says handing him a glass of milk. Draco pushes his hand away “I am not hungry” he says, it’s been three weeks and he still hasn’t taken a step outside the Manor. Harry still hasn’t contact him. His chest closes, clenching his heart tightly, making it hard from him to breathe.

“We-e broke up didn’t we…?” he looked up at Blaise, with glossy sliver eyes, voice hard like he couldn't grab on the reality “He’s not ever coming back to me, is he?” His voice breaks the same time Blaise’s face falls but he won’t cry, he _won’t_ cry.

“Oh Draco…” the man says sitting on the sofa beside him and wrapping his arms around the blonde, pulling Draco’s face in his chest “He’s not worth it, please you are hurting your baby this way” Draco can’t hear him, he cups his face and sobs into the palm of his hands, rubbing his fingers to his eyes rapidly refusing to acknowledge that his lashes are indeed leaking wet with salt water. He’s listless, heart-sore and numb… to fucking everything, everyone. Every minute, every second of his life feels like torture, all he thinks about is Harry, his promises, their happy memories, their love-making. Then, the memories from him fucking Ginny Weasley flashes through his brain and he feels as if he’s going to a trip to hell with absolute physical pain taking over his heart and stabbing knife to the core. He can’t escape. Breathing seems harder. Not matter how hard he tries to forget and move on. He can’t. He likes to think he isn’t heartbroken or emotionally ravaged, that he’s just probably overworked by his pregnancy and wants to balm it all on his hormones but then a silent voice at the back of his mind reminds him _‘I Love Him’._

Blaise stays with him through his break down, till Draco exhausts himself to sleep.

*

He smiles, a tiny smile, his eyes feel numb and heavy he likes to think it’s due to the many hours of sleeping but the redness under his eyes tells a different story. Draco sits in between Pansy and Blaise as they go through their childhood album.

“We should also make one from Draco’s baby!” Pansy suggested, her face shining with excitement “Have you thought of a name yet??” She asked looking the blonde. Draco nodded his head “Oh! Do share!” Blaise said nudging his side.

He puts his hand on his belly “If a boy, then James Abraxas Malfoy-Potter and if a girl then Lily Narcissa Malfoy-Potter” Draco looks up to see his two best friend staring at with a frown “You don’t like the names?” he asked titling his head. They quickly shake their head “No, it’s lovely. Oh! Wouldn’t Jamie be such a cute nick-name?” Pansy says grinning and Blaise nods his head, encouragingly “And Lily as Liles!” he adds. Pansy gasps “Oh that’s really cute, I love it.” she squeals “I can’t wait till we know the gender, so I can go shopping!!” she says grabbing Draco’s hands and kissing them gently.

Draco smiles at his two best friends, feeling blessed “Thank you” he whispers, his voice sounding heavy “I know I'm acting a bit crazy, strung out, a little bit more crazy but thanks for taking care of me” He says tears forming at the corner of his eye. He swallows the lump in his throat, it wasn’t long till Pansy’s trembling lips cracked open “Don’t be silly” she says her voice also sounding as heavy as his “We’ll always be here, always. You are our only family left” She pulls him in a warm hug.

“And you are mine” Draco says closing his eyes, Harry’s face immediately popping behind his lids and he gently places his hand over heart, praying to God that he’ll make it out this fever, alive.

*

**11 th July, Tuesday, 2000**

Draco stares at the snowy owl sitting at his window, he walks forward and open the glass doors of the window “Go away, and tell your bloody master to never send me anything again” he orders. The owl titles it’s head at him and with a nod, it flies away. He bites his lower lip, heart sinking, he closes the window and walks back to his bed.

 _‘When we have our first child Draco, I’ll through the biggest part the wizarding world has ever seen. Just for you, you like parties, right? I’ll do anything for you’_ He closes his eyes, a sad smile curving up his lips. _I don’t want a child anymore_. What party? What family? What future? The future that they once spoke of now seems so… so damaged, so unclear, so faded. He sniffs curling himself on the soft matters, hovering the blankets over and Draco think for the first time in many days, when he saw Harry’s owl, he felt alive. His heart actually fluttered but now that he send the flying creature away, he doubt Harry would try to contact him again. He chokes out a miserable laugh, unknowing to him a trail of tear rolls down from the bridge of his nose which he quickly wipes away. Damn it, an unfaith, cheating husband like Potter shouldn’t deserve any of Draco’s tears. Though he can’t control his heart ache, he wishes the man was here beside him on this empty cold bed, rubbing his stomach and whispering promises of love in his ear. He can’t help but to miss Harry’s touch, his kisses and his humor. He’s been with the man for five years, for Merlin’s sake, five _long_ fucking years. He’s used to Harry’s presence, his smile, his love. How could Harry do this to him? How could be so heartless, why did he have to fall out of love. Why did he cheat on him? Why? There's are million reasons why Draco should forget about him, leave him, move on and never look back...

…

But

…

The heart doesn’t want that. It wants Harry, who he can’t have anymore.

*

Twelve days passed and no word from Harry or letter ever came for Draco since that night he send the snowy owl away.

*

**23 rd July, Monday, 2000**

There are gentle fingers sliding through his hair as he wakes. _Harry_. Draco always falls asleep on the sofa waiting for him to come home, and Harry always touches his hair, gently stroking his fingers through the soft platinum hair strands while Draco dozes. He would then lean down to leave soft kisses all over his face, humming to a gentle melody which puts Draco to asleep, and then Harry would carry him to their beds in his arms and lay him down gently, pulling the warm blanket over him, later joining him in the bed after eating and cleaning.

“Mm, Harry,” he murmurs, and the fingers in his hair stop moving. Draco shifts moving under the sheets, stretches, and opens his eyes to find Pansy beside him on the bed. He blinks, feeling confused, then like a wave the couple of days come rushing back to him and the sleep washes away from his eyes. The bright light form the window, falling on the carpet is enough to let him now that it’s morning again.

“I’m sorry,” Pansy says giving him a weak smile “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine,” Draco coughs, his voice still rough from sleep. He clears his throat and coughs again slightly.

“I should be up.” He sits up, his head is spinning making him feel noxious, he cups his mouth and shuffles out his bed rushing towards to the washroom. Pansy rushes after him as Draco hovers over the toilet, vomiting all of his stomach out. She rubs his back “Ssh, it’s okay” Pansy says as he coughs out more vomit, suddenly feeling very dizzy. Draco wipes his mouth with his arm and Pansy helps him stand up to walk towards the sink. He catches the sight of Blaise standing beside the door, he’s got that terrible look on his face, which he's way too familiar with, the look of sympathy and pity. It’s the same look everyone gave him two years ago when his mother passed away. He looks away, turning the tap water on and grabs his tooth brush “We’re here for you, you know that right? Whatever you need, just ask us.” Blaise says and Draco doesn’t look at him through the mirror, he only nods.

“Cherry made the breakfast, we’ll see you downstairs” Pansy says and Draco nods his head again, brushing his teeth. He comes out of the washroom, walks over to his study table and grabs a paper with a quill.

Pansy places a glass of mango juice with a plate of two big pancakes in front of Draco.

“I have been thinking” Draco says looking up at them “And I have made up my mind” he says as Blaise and Pansy stare at him with curious eyes.

“On what?” Blaise asked.

Draco takes a deep breath, he looks at his two best friends who now stare at him worriedly “What is it Draco?” Pansy asked taking a seat beside him.

“I am leaving England” He finally says. In the pit of silence he watches their expression, from blank to shock then finally looking horrid.

“No you don’t!” Blaise says his voice haunted with worry “You can’t _just_ leave” Pansy desperately noding her head “Yeah, Draco, don’t be absurd”

Draco glances down to his plate “I am being serious, I can’t stay here any longer” he says blinking his dried eyes.

“B-But why?” Pansy asked squeezing his thighs. Draco inhales “Because I can’t fucking _breathe_ ” he says looking up at them with watery eyes “ _he’s_ everywhere, even when he _isn’t_ here” his voice is raspy, ready to fall apart.

“I am always hurting, my mind always takes me back to him. I can’t fucking breathe when I know he’s where he can easily reach out to me. Where I know I can easily catch him fucking Weaslette again. When I know he's not coming for me anymore. I can’t, I just fucking can’t live in England anymore” he says holding back the rush of tears “I owled Charlie this morning, explaining him that I want to travel with him”

Pansy gasps “Are you crazy!” she shouts at him jumping off her chair “Do you realise how dangerous that is! For you _and_ the baby”

“I know, but that’s okay, I need something like that to get my mind off Harry”

“FUCK Draco! Have you gone mental!?” Blaise yells at him slamming his hands on the table. Draco grits his teeth “YES! YES, I have gone bloody mental!” He roars, slamming his fist on the table as well, louder than Blaise’s.

“I can’t… I can’t” he whispers, muttering to himself, grabbing a chunk of his shirt in his fist right where his heart throbbed violently “It’s hard, so hard. Let me go. Please, just please let me go” his voices wails in a helpless cry falling on the ground. Pansy quickly jumps down with him, holding the blonde in her arms. Then Blaise comes up and kneels on Draco’s other side and wraps his arms around both of them and holds them tight.

‘I can’t… I can’t do this…it’s killing me’ he mutters ‘no… I can’t breathe…’ body trembling, with their arms surrounding him ‘shhh, alright fine. You can go, you can leave’ Blaise whispers softly, it’s then that the pain finally comes. He’s leaving. It’s all over. It hits him, slaps him across the face like a sharp wind as he finally takes reality in. Harry isn’t coming. He’s never coming back to him. The pain hits him like a furious hurricane, swelling him up in the brutal twists, turning him around and shaking every bits, every part of his body. For one hazy moment he thinks that his bones will break, that his ribs will crack from the force of it and his abused, broken heart would bleed out of him. For so long he thought this was all a nightmare, that Harry will come back to him. Say some sweet words of apology and this will all be over. Draco would go back to him, he would forget that all of this ever happened because that’s how much he loves Harry. Though after weeks of waiting, Harry didn’t come. Draco lets out a choking sound, he struggles against it, he tries to fight his tears back but this isn’t something he can fight. It isn’t something he can win against no matter how hard he tries. His thoughts are, like the dark ocean, sucking him over, again and again coming back to swallow him when his heart is at its weakest and pulls him under its heavy, savage waves. Harry isn’t coming back to him. Draco shutters a shaky breath in, Pansy’s soft scent of perfume and the smell of Blaise’s shaving cream surrounds him tightly as they whisper words of comfort in his ears reminding him that they are still here, with him. He lets himself hear their words, lets the comfort welcome him knowing that they won’t let him drown. They won’t let him sink they won’t let him go, they’ll keep on holding onto him, and they’ll reach out to grab him from the dark ocean. As he jumps off the edgy rocky mountain and sinks deep into his grief, his agony ocean of pain and torture. One thought crosses his mind, as his breathes gets heavier and heavier, hitching pass his lumped, aching throat. His eyes narrow burning with hot salty fresh water and his vision goes hazy. His nose stiffs up and he sniffs viciously to avoid the slick and salty water run down to his mouth from his nostrils. His mouth breaks open, voice dragging into those awful heart breaking, ear wracking sobs leaving everyone around him bitter. His aching, hurting, burning tears edge down his eyes, finally slipping down as his cry of wail breaks his throat apart and the pain in his chest finally explodes into something awfully bitter, something sour. His last though before he completely shuts his brain off- is that he never wants to feel this broken again, never. Never again. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never—

“I-I hate him” he whimpers “I hate him, I hate him, I hate him” he says rubbing the side of his face in their shoulders, as their grip gets tighter on him “Fuck… _Fuck_ ” Draco inhales a sharp breath “I _love_ him, I _love_ him” he sobs, his tears dropping down and dissolving into Pansy’s dress. He digs his fingers in their arms, gripping onto them tight as he bites his tongue with his eyes squeezed shut so hard that he could see tiny white stars behind his closed lids.

“Love him” he whispers in his cries “I love him”

*

“Take me with you” Draco says as Charlie sits in front of him on the sofa in the living room. Charlie stares at his face, with wide eyes “W-What?” he shutters, gripping tightly on his knees.

“To Australia, or wherever you are going, take me with you” The room is silent, it’s after a couple of seconds when he feels Pansy grabbing his hand “Draco… he wants to travel” she says, looking at Charlie Weasley putting up a fake smile on her lips. Draco locks his grey eyes with Charlie’s blue ones “Please Charlie, take me with you” Draco walking up to the man and bending in front of him grabbing his large hands into his owns. He stares up at the man as he crouches on his knees, squeezing Charlie’s hands.

“It’s very dangerous Dra-

“I don’t care” Draco cuts him off, his voice strong and firm, a little rusty from all the crying earlier but defiantly determined “I could help you, let me join your team as a healer” he says digging his fingers into the older man’s hands “I want to get out of here” The older Weasley hesitates, Blaise walks up to Charlie and places his hands on the man’s shoulder “Please Weasley” he says looking into the man’s eyes.

Charlie looks back down and capture’s the blonde’s grey eyes again, they stare at one another “ _Please_ Charlie” Draco says, determination set in his eyes. A small smile forms on the red-heads lips “I am leaving in two days, Wednesday evening, think you can pack?” Charlie says, squeezing his hands back and he is rewarded by a brilliant smile which curves up Draco’s lips. A breath of relief which he didn’t know he was holding, instantly leaves his lungs and Draco feels lighter than before.  

“Don’t tell anyone about this, especially Potter” he says looking at Charlie.

The man grins at him “Whatever you want Draco” he says and then gets up on his legs again.

“Thank you… Charlie” Pansy says smiling at him and the older red-head smiles back.

*

He goes to Grimmauld place when Charlie sends him a patronum saying Potter was spending the night at Weasley’s to say goodbye to him. Draco takes a suitcase with him, packing all of his belongs shrinking them with a spell before stuffing them in his suitcase. With the help of his two best friends, it takes him less than an hour to pack everything and making sure to leave nothing, _nothing,_ behind. He glances at the house one last time, before stepping in the floo and without saying a bye, he moves forward and disappears with a green flash.

*

**August 10 th, Saturday, 2003**

Draco yawns, bending down to grab the letter which had slid in through the slender owl mail at the bottom of his door. He shuffles through the four letter, walking up the stairs as his feet blindly take him to his most favourite person. There was a letter from Pansy, one from Blaise, Charlie and… Wizarding Ministry of England. Draco blinks, staring at the letter in his hands “Owa!” he hears a loud bubbly voice and the blonde looks up to see a baby boy, looking at him with big eyes as he reached his chubby hands in the air leaning against the baby cart.

A small grin falls on his lips, the letter now completely forgotten as he tosses them on his bed and walks over to his baby “Morning love” he says grabbing the 1 ½ year old boy in his arms, kissing his chubby cheeks softly. The baby giggled when Draco nuzzled their noses together, and leaned down to kiss his lips in a quick peak.

“What do you think about mash banana’s Jamie?” Draco asked and those green eyes flickered up to look at him. Draco gulps, those eyes, those devilish stunning eyes, always get him every-bloody-time. He shakes his head, it’s been over three years, he tells his heart as he leans forward to kiss James’s temples.

“Ywaa!” he lifts his little arms in the air, nodding his head so fast that it almost slammed into Draco’s jaw. The blonde chuckles “Alright, Alright” he says rubbing his other hand on the baby’s back “But father can’t promise that he’ll also eat the same as you, I like chocolate pancakes”

“Achiiiii!!!”

“I know they aren’t healthy! But they are so good Jamie!”

“Googggieee?”

Draco laughs and kiss the boy’s nose “Yes, very googie” he says stepping into the kitchen. Draco holds James, as he takes a blow out, grabbing a banana and then mashing in with a spoon.

“Ma, mama,”

“Yes baby” Draco answers

“Ma-ma, mama” James babbles words out his mouth, making baby sounds “Yes, baby” Draco says grabbing the bowl and placing it on the table. He puts James on the baby chair, locking him up with the black safety belt and then flipping the long black tray over, placing the banana bowl in front of him.

“Ahhh, Jamie” Draco says holding the spoon scooped with mashed bananas near James’s lips.

“Waaa” The baby opens his mouth wide and then humping down on the plastic spoon, dragging his lips back on the bite.

It’s been three years, three years of living alone in France. After Draco left with Charlie to Australia, he decided to go to France two months after. His father has a house build in France; Paris, where he lives now with his baby. Since he’s still on a pregnancy leave, the Ministry of England is still paying him on average salary, not that he needs the money of course but who is he too complain when free money is filling up is already gallon filled account. The letter immediately pops in his and Draco thinks he knows what it’s about. He sighs.

“Owie?” Jamie tilts his head and pats his chubby hands on Draco’s face. The blonde smiles and turns his head slightly to kiss those tiny hands “Yes, papa is okay”

“Iwa~” the baby giggles, delighted at the response. Those green eyes lit up and Draco stares at them, his heart sinking a little, he puts up a sad smile one word, one name taking over his brain.

After feeding James, he picks the baby boy up and takes him to the living room.

“Acio James’s toys” Draco says and bunch of plastic cars, balls, loud musical toys come falling down the stairs into the living room, falling on the ground in front of his feet. James squeals in joy “Ewa!!!” his voice is sharp as he claps his hands and Draco gently puts him on the ground casting a protecting charm around him before heading back to the kitchen.

He makes himself some pancakes with coffee and takes an hour to eat breakfast. His appetite seems to have vanished. He thinks about the letter waiting for him to open and wonders if he should go back to England, home, but there is no home. The Malfoy Manor is nothing more than a large, large empty box build on a landscape of empty green fields. It was his home once — when his parents were alive, where he, Blaise and Pansy grew up together, his real childhood home. Though, that’s all history now, just like his parents, his childhood, it’s forever gone, accessible only by memory. Sighing he pushes his chair back, picks up his plate, the mug which is still filled with coffee and places them in the sink. Maybe he could buy an apartment, he can’t live with Blaise and Pansy especially with James. They have their own privacy, yeah, he’ll do that, buy a single floating box in the sky and call it ‘home’. Draco walks to the living to check on James, a smile makes his lips to find the baby happily playing with his feet and giggling to himself. He then makes his way up to his room, grabbing the four letter from the bed and then walking back to the living room, flopping down on his sofa.

He opens Pansy’s letter first

_My Dearest Draco,_

_You promised to write me more, but you never do, I’ll have you know I am disappointed though I could imagine the hectic life of a single parent so I guess I can’t blame you for your bad habit of writing once a month. How are you? Are you eating well? How is my little Jamie? I have been longing to see him, you send me his picture in the last letter, my heart metaled and I immediately got it framed. I was surprised to see how big he’s now! The last time I saw him was when you gave birth to the little angel. His smile is so adorable, so sweet that it hit the bottom of my heart. Please, do send me more picture of my lovely angel and of yourself too darling. I am sorry Blaise and I can’t visit you much, but what can I say? Our jobs are so hectic that we don’t even see each another much and we live in the same house! Unbelievable. I miss you love, I wish you would come back to me. I know, I know you don’t want to but… I **really** miss you, your face, your voice and just you. Come back Draco, come back, it’s been three years. I want to see Jamie, I have so many presents for him which I can’t deliver because they are too big and heavy for an owl to carry, so they just pile up in my room. Quite frustrating actually, Blaise always tells me to buy small gifts but I disagree, I want to buy the best and finest present for my precious Jamie. Do write me soon love, I’ll look forward to hear from you- oh! I also got my floo fixed, I know about time, eh. Stay well Draco, I hope to hear from you very soon. _

_Yours,_

_Pansy_

Draco smiles, he reads the letter again a warm feeling bubbling in his stomach, glad to find out that she finally got her floo fixed now he can talk to them face to face again.

He reads Blaise’s letter next, which was also asking about his health and James with a promise of writing more. He stares at Charlie’s letter, from his pocket he takes his wand out “Incendio” the white paper immediately bursts into fire and he watches it burn till it curls into black ashes. Draco looks at the last unopen letter in his hands. He takes a deep breath and rips open the letter.

_Dear Mr. Malfoy-Potter_

His eyes freezes at the name, Draco shakes his head and starts to read the rest of the letter ignoring the stab in his heart.

_Dear Mr. Malfoy-Potter_

_The_ _St. Mungo’s would like to offer you your job back as a Healer at the finest hospital in England and congratulate you on your healthy delivery. As you know, due to the male pregnancy you received three years off, but due to your fabulous performance and excellent skills we would like you back in our team as our Healer. There will be a commencement on September 30 th, Monday, welcoming all the junior healers and the ones returning. We look forward to see you there. If you are interested in joining our team again, please send us your answer within three days, we hope to receive your owl soon._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Hermione Granger_

_Dept. of Magical Law Enforcement_

Draco’s eyes widen at the signature, Hermione? When did she become the head of law Enforcement? He bit his lower lip, did that mean she knows about his location? Of course she did, it’s written in his files, but the real question was, did she tell others about his location? If so… why didn’t- _No! You are not going to think about him Draco. He didn’t chase after you when you left England, he won’t do it now_ he tells himself, hands gripped tightly, crumpling the letter. Suddenly his brain crosses another thought, Hermione mentioned his pregnancy in the letter… Dear God, so she probably knew about James. Draco’s hearts flips in panic then falling down to his stomach. _No_ , he thinks, _she didn’t tell anyone_. If she did then his so called ‘ _husband’_ would have defiantly come after him.

_I don’t want a child anymore_

Or maybe he wouldn’t, Draco thinks dryly.

“Owie?” He glances up to see James staring at him, eyes wide with worry. Draco ticks his tongue, reminding himself that children are sensitive to magic and can sense the change in aura, especially their parents. He crawls down the sofa and gathers his little body in a warm hug “I am okay now” Draco whispers nuzzling his nose in the baby’s golden-brown hair, humming lightly. James cuddles into him, letting out a sigh “Agugoo” he says and Draco warps his arms around him even tighter resting his head on top of his little head.

“I love you” Draco says

“I ya yooooo”

Draco chuckles, now swinging them a little, side to side.

“I love you”

“I ya yoooo” James says, resting his chubby cheeks against Draco’s chest.

“Do you want me to read you a book Jamie?” Draco asks.

“Agggeiiii!!” The baby claps, energy flowing out of his body as he nods his head at the blonde. Draco chuckles and takes James to his room. He grabs a small muggle book called ‘little red riding hood’ and flops on the bed with James laying on top of him as he starts to red.

“Where are you heading too little girl?” Draco reads

“Ohhhh!!” James says his hands flying to his mouth, making a horrid sound when Draco flips the page with a wolf drawn on it.

“That’s right, bad wolf” the blonde says “grrr” he growls and James copies him “rrr” he tries to roll his tongue with only spit coming out and Draco laughs lightly kissing the top of his head. Half-way through the book, the baby yawns loudly, eyes fluttering and the blonde puts the book away flipping James over. He pats his back, as James’s chubby cheeks press against his chest and Draco starts to hum a muggle song he once heard on the radio a very long time ago. Only remembering the bits of the lyrics he opens his voice and start singing the song in a very soft lullaby “ _And I've been so caught up in my job, didn't see what's going on, but now I know I'm better sleeping on my own_ ” Draco sings slowly, in his own soft melody, lightly brushing his fingers through James’s tiny brown hair “ _Because if you like the way you look that much Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself_ ” he sings rubbing his baby’s back, he smiles when James tries to hum along, voice heavy as it comes out from the back of his throat. “ _And if you think that I'm still holding on to something, you should go and love yourself_ ” James’s eyes were now closed as his breathing becomes slow and soon the baby is fast asleep in his arms. Draco stands up, he leans down and kisses his rosy cheeks.

“Sweet dreams” he whispers laying the boy down in the baby cart, kissing his forehead softly. He then turns on his heels, placing the letters on his side table, glancing at them one last time before heading down to complete the rest of his chores.

*

The next day, he sits on a wooden chair in front of his study table holding a quill in his finger. He twists the quill, the feather rubbing against his chin, thinking of proper words to write. James is sitting on his bed, rolling around, laughing to himself as he plays with a fluffy teddy bear. Draco sighs, rubbing his hand through his platinum hair.

_Dear Ms. Hermione Granger-Weasley_

He finally writes

_It would be my honor to accept the job as a Healer at St. Mungo’s and to tell you how excited I am to join the team again. I am confident that I can make a significant change contributing to the hospital and I am very grateful for the opportunity you have given me._

_I will attend the commencement on September 30 th and look forward to meeting you. _

_Thank you for the confident you have expressed into me, I look forward to starting work as a healer again_.

_Yours,_

_Draco Malfoy_

He holds his quill, staring at his last name. Unconsciously, his hand travels up to his neck wear a loose silver chain hug around. He takes the chain out of his shirt, a heavy golden tantalum ring looped around the chain and Draco’s fingers came around to play with the shiny jewellery he once wore around his ring finger. He and his _husband_ aren’t divorced even if they don’t live together anymore. Draco never bothered to file a divorce against his _husband_ due to his own conflicted feelings which he doesn’t like to acknowledge leaving them rusty at the back of his mind. As for his said ‘life’ partner, he never filed a divorce case against Draco either so logically they were still married. Therefor it only makes sense for him to write ‘ _Malfoy-Potter_ ’ instead of just ’ _Malfoy_ ’ even if he truly doesn’t want to write the infuriating name of that bastard beside his own name.

He bites his lower lip, feeling frustrated he grabs a hold of his hair and slightly pull on them.

“Ma!” He hears James’s sharp voice and turns his head to see the baby crawling towards him. His eyes widens when the baby’s hand slips off the edge and Draco jumps forward catching his little boy in his arms before James hits the ground.

“James… are you trying to give me a heart attack?” he grumbles, head resting against the floor as the baby lays flatly on his stomach. Draco stares at the ceiling, half listening to James’s rambling he sighs and looks at the baby sitting on his belly. Those green eyes stare at him, fire breathing in them looking as lively as… as… “You really take after your daddy, you know” Draco mumbles bringing his hand up and caressing James’s chubby cheeks.    

“James Abraxas Malfoy-Potter” he whispers as the baby moves and lays flatly on Draco’s chest. Titling his head, James starts to suck on his thumb and Draco’s eyes follow up to his study table, where his un-finished letter rested “Potter…Potter, Potter” his heart feels empty “Malfoy-Potter…”

“Draco Malfoy-Potter”

He closes his eyes, memories from three years ago flashing behind his closed lids.

*

In the peaceful, quite night, Pansy’s loud delightful voice shakes through his large empty house “YOU ARE WHAT!?” the women says, almost jumping in joy.

“Shhh!!! Pans” Draco says placing his finger on his lips “You are going to wake Jamie up!”

“Draco, if you are joking, I will personally come and choke your life out” Blaise warms, though his voice also sounding as lively as his wife’s. Draco chuckles and rolls his eyes “I am not lying you wanker” he says with a smirk “I am coming back to England”

**August 22 nd, Friday, 2003**

Pansy hugs his body tightly, her tears soaking in his neck as she mumbles various insults at him. Draco chuckles light, James looks absolutely lost in his arms as he looks around with wide eyes taking in his new surroundings. He hugs her back from one hand and she gasps pulling away instantly when her eyes land on the baby in his arms.

“Oh dear, look at you handsome” Pansy says, her voice raspy as he cleans her tears away with her fingers. James stares at her, then snuggles into Draco, hiding his face in his father’s neck.

“Hi James” her voice is soft and sweet “Come to aunt Pansy” she says holding her hands out to the little boy. Draco nudges his arm, James turns his head to look up at him and the blonde smiles at him then pointed his head to Pansy “Well, go one” he says. James hesitates for a moment, he looks back at Pansy and she gives him a soft smile in return, that did the trick. The baby leans forward from Draco’s arms, falling in Pansy’s. She hugs him tightly “Oh you gorgeous angel” Pansy says twirling him in her arms fast making James laughs then she kisses his chubby cheeks. Draco smiles and glances at Blaise, the man grins at him pulling him in a manly hug.

“Glad to have you back” he says in Draco’s ear.

“Hmm” Draco hums hugging the tall man back. They pull back, Blaise smiles at him, ruffles his hair and Draco slaps his hand away “Not the hair” he says flatly. Blaise laughs “Ever the same prat” he says grinning and Draco smiles back at him. He takes his wand out shrinks Draco’s luggage and the blonde thanks him placing them in his long trench coat brown. They apparat to Zabini palace, Draco places his luggage at the corner of the living room and swings his want to take of the shirking charm.

“Draco, I asked Cherry to make your favourite” Pansy says, heading towards the kitchen as Blaise takes James away from her, holding the baby in his arms. Draco moans “I missed her cooking, I can’t wait to eat her food again” he says heading towards the kitchen.

“Master Draco!” Cherry says jumping “You is finally home!”

Draco laughs “Yes, I am back, it’s good to see you again Cherry” he says “I brought some gifts for you”

The elf gasps “Oh no master! You shouldn’t waste your money on someone useless like me!” even with the insult her eyes are shinning with delight.

“Nonsense” Draco shakes his head “You are family” and he means it, Cherry has been with them since he can remember. She blushes at the compliment, practically swinging in joy “Thank you master” she says shyly.

“Hermione Granger?” Pansy says grabbing a glass of mango juice and gulping it down. Draco nods his head and looks at Blaise “Did she ever say anything to you Blaise? You are her assistant after all”

Blaise quietly chewed on his bite “She knows, I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to make you worry” he says “I didn’t tell her anything that she already knew, she promised not to say a word to Potter or anyone but I have a feeling Weasley knows”

The blonde sighs, losing his appetite immediately “Draco, don’t worry. She was actually quite sad I think she felt offended. She accepted you to tell her” Blaise says, placing his fork down near his plate. Draco stands up, his chair pushing back making a squeak sound “I am feeling very exhausted” he says walking over to the baby chair and pulling James out of it.

“Draco…” He turns his head to see a frown marrying their faces.

He gives a defeated sigh “I-” Draco opens and closes his mouth “Good night” he says turning on his heels and walking away to the guest room with James in his arms. He places the baby on the bed and walks over to his hand carry talking an empty bottle of milk out. He calls Cherry and asked her to fill the bottle up with fresh warm milk. Draco changed into his pajamas, then walking over to James who was playing with his feet looking overly energetic. He gives a tired sigh, oh boy, it’s going to a long night trying to make him fall asleep, hopefully James wouldn’t be so loud. He takes James’s top of, instantly greeting with a chubby and a shiny belly of his baby. He smiles when his cold hands make his baby giggle, Draco kisses the soft baby skin belly and tickling him a little making the boy laugh more.

“I love you” he whispers

“I ya yoooo” James replies. He jumps when Cherry appears in front of with a pop handing him a warm bottle of milk.

“Thank you” Draco says and the elf nods “No problem Master, cherry is happy to serve” she says with a bow and then vanishing away. Placing the bottle on the side table, Draco quickly changes James’s clothes into his night pajamas and then swings his wand to turn the lights off. He lays on the bed, bringing James down to his side and grabbing the feeding bottle. He pokes the transport orthodontic teat to the baby’s lips but James shakes his head away.

“Ouwaa!!” he says jumping up, then slapping his hands on Draco’s face giggling loudly.

“Oh Jamie, not tonight baby” Draco whines, sitting up. He crosses his legs, grabs the boy and lays on his legs flatly. He starts to shake his legs, rocking James’s body as he starts to sing a lullaby.

“Ahh!” James cries, rolling off Draco’s legs looking angry. The blonde sighs flopping back on the mattress, James crawls up to his stomach and then jumps on his belly.

“Uff!” Draco’s body jumps forward and the little brat laugh’s fills the room.

“Great, he wants to play” the blond groans flopping back to the bed, he feels his eyes getting heavier as his head spins with sleep. He feels tired, but he can’t fall asleep with James still awake what if he falls off the bed and hurts himself. He grabs the tiny body jumping on his stomach and tries again to force James to lay down beside him. The stubborn baby, breaks into a frustrating cry and Draco lets him go. James lets out a tiny huff then rolling away.

“So stubborn” he mumbles turning to his side as James bring his foot up and sucks on his toe then giggling “Just like your daddy” Draco says fingers coming up to rub against the golden ring hangout out his white shirt. He doesn’t know how long he watches James paly around as he struggles to stay awake with his head pounding with pain, screaming at him to sleep. Finally the little boy crawls to his side and curls up to his chest yawing loudly. In a haze, he grabs the milk bottle blindly from the side table, still warm from the warming charm and sticks it into the baby’s mouth. As James quietly sucks on it, eyes closed, Draco drops his arm around his tiny body and brings the boy closer to him. He doesn’t even has the energy to hum a lullaby, he only remembers closing his eyes with a relief sigh and he drifts into the darkness with the last image of familiar green eyes roaming in his mind.

**August 23 nd, Sunday, 2003**

Pansy leans against the door, watching silently and smiling to herself.

“Draco?” Draco says

James giggles and swings forward to give a huge sloppy kiss on Draco’s face his lips lading on Draco’s mouth instead “Mowwy!” the baby says. Draco looks at him flatly “Not mommy, you brat, father! Father. I knew I shouldn’t have let you watch all those muggle cartoons” he mumbles under his breath.

“Father, James” Draco says “Let’s try again; Draco?”

The baby rocks his body forward with excitement “Mowwy!” he says loudly

“Father!”

“Mowwy!!”

Draco sighs, officially giving up. Pansy laughs lightly as Draco tucks James’s silky honey-brown hair behind his ear “Daddy” the blonde says and she chuckles at Draco’s attempt, like James is going to call him anything other than Mommy.

“Dwad-di!”

 Pansy blinks.

“Oh! So you can call him Daddy but me Mommy, huh, you little brat” she watches as Draco tickles his baby boy making James laugh loudly. Pansy narrows her eyes “Who’s ‘he’?” she asked and watched Draco jump then turning to look at him.

“Merlin, Pans, you scared the daylights out me” Draco huffs placing a hand to his chest.

Pansy walks towards him “Who’s ‘he’?” she asked again, her eyes caught Draco’s hands moving to his back hiding something.

“Draco” she says in a warning tone. The blonde bites his lower lip “No one” he mumbles looking at James.

“yaaaa” James squeals loudly, hands in the air demanding Pansy to hold him. She smiles at the baby and picks him up. She stares at Draco and then looks back at James “Draco” she says looking at James and ignoring Draco’s confused stare.

“Mowwy!!” the baby giggles, his chubby hand cupping his face and Draco rolls his eyes.

“Harry” Pansy says, Draco’s heart stops he shots his head up, eyes wide with horror.

“Dwad-di!” James replies loudly, clapping his hands.

Pansy turns to give Draco a flat look to find the blonde was looking down at his places. They stay quiet for a couple of minutes as Pansy waits for an answer she knows she’s never going to get.

“I won’t understand, why?” she finally asked, pushing the blonde and pressuring him to answer.

Draco opens his mouth, still looking at his laps “Because…” he says “He is his father and James should know that”

Pansy grits her teeth “Even if Potter’s and utter arsehole, who deserve no title of a father” she says, her eyes flicking with anger. Draco glances up to her “Even if, it’s his right” he says. Pansy shakes her head “Whatever” she says “I came to let you know that breakfast is ready. Blaise and I took a day off to help you move, so you don’t have to worry about doing it alone or Jamie”

Draco nods his head “Thank you” he says gratefully.

**September 30 th, Tuesday, 2003**

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come?” Pansy asked for the fiftieth time as Draco tucks his dark grey tie up. It’s 5:00 in the afternoon, and he’s almost ready to leave the house for the commencement.

“Yes Pans” he says looking at the women “Beside Blaise would be there, no need to worry” he takes James from her arms and kiss the baby cheeks.

“But what if Granger brings Potter with her?” Draco feels a shock going through his body making his freeze “We talked about this before” he says looking at her “I’ll be fine, it’s been three years” She gives him a critical look, a frown marrying her plump rosy lips as she opens her mouth to talk “Stop it Pansy” Draco says his voice cramped, feeling frustrated. She flinches “I am just worried…” Pansy whispers looking down at the ground. Draco feels guilt stabbing his heart, he sighs and pulls her in a hug “I am sorry, I know… I am just, can we not talk about him?” he whispers in her ear and she nods her head. James lets out a high pitch sound “Wiya!!” he says pushing Pansy away from Draco. The blonde chuckles “You little ball of jealously, I know him longer then you have!” Pansy says, tickling the baby and lifting him away from Draco’s arms.

“Draco are you ready?” Blaise says running into the room holding a light black jacket in his arms “You are wearing _that_ ”

Draco blinks and looks in the mirror, he was wearing a grey muggle suit with a black collar shirt completed with a dark grey tie “What’s wrong with this?” he asked turning his head back to his friend who was wearing a wizard robe. Blaise shakes his head “Nothing, let’s go or we’ll be late” he says. He nods his head and turns to grab James from Pansy’s arms. Draco hugs the boy tightly in his arms, he pulls away and looks at him “You’ll be a good boy for Aunt Pansy, won’t you Jamie” he says bending down and peaking his baby’s lips gently. James laughs “Mowwy” he says and Draco smiles warmly at him, kissing his forehead. He hands James back to Pansy “If he gets fussy or anything, patronum me and I’ll come back” he says and the lady rolls her eyes at him “Yes, Yes, I know. Now get going before Blaise kills you” she says grinning. He kisses her cheek, then James and runs downstairs to find Blaise waiting for him near the floo.

“I got your coat” Blaise says. Draco smiles and grabs the brown coat in hands “Thanks” he says stepping into the floo with Blaise. He closes his eyes, his heart pounds against his ribs for a single beat and then he opens his eyes to find himself standing in the large floo of the Ministry building. Blaise nudges his elbow “Come” he smiles taking a step forward and Draco follows him to the commencement room.

The commencement room is packed with youngsters and Draco smiles remembering how he also once stood there during his beginning days as a healer.

“Go head take a seat, I’ll have to join Granger in the back stage” Blaise says and Draco nods his head. He glances around the large hall, Draco blinks when he spots a familiar face. Smiling he walks over to person and puts his hand down to the empty chair beside them “Mind if I join?” Draco asked. The person looks up, eyes widening in shock “Malfoy!?” he says “Of course, sit”

“Thank you” Draco says taking a seat beside the tall ex-Gryffindor man “Long time Longbottom”

“Please, call me Neville, I think we are past Hogwarts aura already” The man says rolling his eyes and Draco nods his head in agreement “Then you shall call me Draco in return” Neville arches his brown in surprise “Sure, Draco” he says grinning.  
“So…? What are you doing here?” Draco asked the man leaning back on his chair, hands resting in his pocket.

“I am here to welcome all the junior healer, you are sitting in the wrong side might I add” Neville says pointing his thumb to the other side of the hall where all the new healers sat. Draco shrugs his shoulder “They all look like black seats to me” Neville laughs out loudly “Ever the same old Malfoy, I see” and the ex-slytherin smiles back at him.

“You know your return has been in the air since you send your letter back confirming to join again” Neville says smiling.

“So, I heard” Draco says

“John has been talking about you no-stop. Draco this, Draco that- it’s gets annoying sometimes” the man rolls his eyes and Draco sends him a teasing smirk “Is that jealously I hear?” he says arching his brown and Neville gives him a flat look “Hardly” he says.

“So why were you away for so long?” Draco blinks “Vacation” he says and the other man nods his head in acknowledgement.

Draco looks around the hall which was now looking more filled then before “Where Johnny?” he asks.

Neville laughs “Seriously? Johnny?” Draco could sense the humor in his voice. He shrugs his shoulders smiling “The old man doesn’t mind” Draco says and Neville shakes his head at him “I hope you know that you are speaking of our head department, our boss.”

“Oh, trust me, I know” Draco replies smiling.

They talked for what seemed like half-hour but probably lasted two hours because it was now 7:00 and Hermione Granger was standing on the stage in front of the mike with Blaise standing beside her.

“Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen” She says her voice loud and proud “This year, 500 out of a 1000 students were accepted to St. Mungo’s. Congratulations on making your way through Healers academy and getting accepted at one of the top and finest hospital in England.” There was a loud applause as the young healers cheered “Your adventure doesn’t stop here, your abilities will be tested in your given talent and you must prove yourself to become a fabulous healer. You all have talents in different departments, some of you will be staying in the hospital, some of you are dragon trainer’s healers others are Auror healers and some will land in Dept. of mysteries with unspeakables. Whatever filed you are in, work hard, rise up and make the wizarding world proud. Our hope lies in your hands, you are or healers our protectors and every wizard’s life is in your hands. I am proud of you all, making your way through, and once again congratulations to you all and welcome to the next adventures of your life”

Draco claps as he watches Hermione stepping off the stage, John Thomas taking over the mike instead. After two painful hours when he was done introducing all of the new younger, calling them on stage name by name and giving them their ID with Healer robes. Draco stretches his arms, he was never good at sitting in one place.

“Draco! My boy!” he hears a voice from his side and turns his head to see John making his way over. Draco stands up immediately “Hello John” he greeting taking his hand out but the old man captures him in a hug instead.

John laughs “I so glad to see you here, welcome back” he says pushing away, patting Draco’s back. The blonde rolls his eyes, a smile playing on his lips “You are just happy that I’ll do all of your paper work again and take over your shifts so you can get some days off” Draco says smirking. John laughs out loudly, reminding him of how Hagrid used to laugh “You know me so well, boy” he says grinning and Draco smile in return.

“Ah! Healer Longbottom, good evening to you” John says his eyes falling on a very stunned Neville. Draco gives him a sly smirk mouthing ‘I told you’ and the man rolls his eyes at him in return.

“Good to see you too sir” Neville says respectfully bowing his head slightly.

“By the way old man, don’t you have somewhere to be?” Draco asked and Neville’s mouth drops to the ground. John tilts his head “Well, I thought you must want to say some nice words to the head of law enforcement since she made her way here for the opening” Draco says shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh yes!!” The sixty year old healer nods his head “Yes, yes, yes. See this is why I need you around Draco” he says rushing away and Draco shakes his head. He looks up to see Neville staring at him with wide eyes “W-What?” Draco says nervously.

“You just called him old man” Neville looks blown away. Draco nods his head “I did” he says crossing his arms a smile tugging on his lips.

“And you didn’t fired?”

“Nope” Draco says walking over to the long tables at the back of the room where drinks where placed with Neville following beside him.

“We are mates, from now. Best mates.” the taller healer says seriously and Draco burst a laugh out of his throat.

Draco sips on his butterbeer as Neville tells him a story of a recent juicy case he had just completed. Just like him, Neville is also an Auror healer. In other words, he’s more out in the field then in the safety of the inside of a hospital. He was so engaged in the story that he failed to see a person walking towards them.

“Mind if I steal your company for some time Nev?”

Draco’s heart stops when a familiar voice makes to his ears.

“Sure thing Herm” Neville says, he smiles and nods in Draco’s direction “See you later Draco”

“Later” Draco says waving his hand as Neville walks away and the face of Hermione Granger steps into his vision. They stare at one another “Hello Draco” she finally says and Draco feels his heart beat faster than before.

“Hello Hermione” He says placing his drink down on the table beside him. He watches as Hermione takes her wand out and casts a silencing charm around them, his grey eyes gaze around the room unable to find Blaise.

“How have you been?” She asked him placing her wand back in her robes. He turns to look at her, feeling nervous even if he had prepared his mind earlier about meeting Hermione Granger.

“Better than you last saw me” he replies and she hums at him, her eyes flowing down to his toes.

“Are we friends?” she asked him, her voice flat showing no sign of any emotions.

Draco blinks at her “Wa-? Of course we are!” he says quickly. She gives him a flat look “Yet you left, without even saying a goodbye. Am I really that unworthy of your trust?” Draco shakes his head “I-I was g-going through hell that time. It was a decision I made in a weak state of mind, I didn’t mean to offend you Hermione” he says, feeling the guilt hitting the home of his heart.

“Yet you still didn’t even send a single letter”

Draco gulps, head swinging down in shame “I-I am sorry, I was scared that you might tell… that you might tell Harry about me and where I was at that time” he admits. She stares at him “I wouldn’t. How could you even think that? Just because Harry is my best friend that doesn’t mean I’ll favour him when he’s the one who has done you wrong. I saw you that day, I saw how broken you looked Draco. I never wanted to see you like that again so why in the Merlin’s name would I send Harry after you?” Draco bites his lower lip, daring to glance up to see a hurt expression on her face “I am sorry Hermione” he says pushing his arms open “Though did I mention how beautiful you look tonight?” A smile curves up her lips, she steps forward and Draco embraces her in a warm hug. They stay like for a minute.

“Where’s your baby?” she asked and Draco smiles warmly pushing her away “He’s at home” he says. Her eyes are shining “What’s his name?” Hermione asked.

Draco blushes “James Abraxas Malfoy-Potter” he says playing with his fingers. Hermione gasps loudly, her hands flying to her lips “James!? Potter? H-He’s!!” Draco laughs at her stunned face “Why didn’t you tell me before!!” she says slapping his arms and Draco’s smile vanishes off his lips.

“I found out the day before I caught him with Weaslette” Hermione looks like she has swallow a lemon “Harry’s been a fool” she says looking down at her feet, looking guilty “But… you know, he’s broken every contact with Ginny. Didn’t even speak to her on her birthday, he spends almost all of his time at home, he misses you every-

“You should see Jamie, he’s brilliant” Draco says quickly and she shuts her mouth close. Hermione blinks at him, then a smile makes her way “Give me your address and I’ll come over. Can I bring Ron with me?” Draco hesitates for a moment “Don’t worry, he won’t tell Harry anything. He’s as annoyed with him as I am for what he did to you” Hermione says. He looks into her honest eyes and nods his head “Bring Rosie too, I missed her” Draco says grinning and Hermione laughs. She pats her stomach “Another one is on its way” she says shyly. Draco gaps, he quickly grabs her hands in his “Congratulation, Hermione!” he says truly feeling happy for her unborn child. A blue light appears beside him in a form of a red foxes “Draco, please come home. James won’t stop crying, he’s yelling your name” Pansy’s voice tells him. Draco’s eyes widens in panic and he turns his head to Hermione “Sorry Hermione, but I got to run” he says already taking some steps back. She nods at him “Yeah okay, I’ll see you later Draco” she waves as Draco disappears into the crowd heading running towards the floo.

As he takes a turn in the hallway, he painfully bumps into someone making the person fall on the ground.

“Sorry mate” Draco say, quickly running away, without even helping the person up.

“Zabini Manor!” He yells throwing the power in the floo and stepping into the living room of Zabini Manor where Pansy held a loud crying James in her arms. Draco breathes heavily as he walks towards them “Thank God you are here” Pansy says as she carefully hands James back to the man.

“Hey there baby” Draco says kissing James’s cheeks then wiping his tears away “shhh Jamie” he says rocking the baby in his arms. The baby opens his big went green eyes “Mowwy?” he says titling his head and Draco smiles leaning down to kiss his forehead again. The boy cries harder, demanding for extra attention from Draco. The blonde lets out a tired sighs, bouncing James’s in his arms.

“Do you have his milk bottle?” Draco asked and Pansy nods her head picking up the milk bottle from the table and handing it to her friends.  
“James look, it’s mommy” Draco says nudging the bottle’s nipple to the baby’s lips. The baby hums sucking on the milk, and Draco kisses his temples gently “Thanks pans” he says looking at her. She shakes her head with a smile “No worries, go get some rest”  
Draco nods his head and walks into the floo “Draco Malfoy apartment” he says throwing the powder in the floo. It isn’t till he’s in pajamas ready to fall asleep besides James when he realises that the person he bumped into wore a familiar cologne.

 

**November 19 th, Wednesday, 2003**

Draco sits in a large room besides Neville with two other healers, the room fully heated with the heaters blocking the coldness of cold November. The walls covered with white paint and he stares at John.

“I called you four today, delighted to inform that I have chosen you all for a very important mission assigned epically by the minister herself” Draco arches his eyebrow, this seems interesting “I can’t say much about the mission, since the minister herself has requested to explain it herself, you can probably tell how important this mission is going to be” He glances at Neville who glances back at him curiously swirling in his eyes as well.

“If the mission is successful, you are promised to be paid 40,800 gallons” Draco’s eyes widens, as the room filled with loud gasps, that’s how much he makes every two months.

“So do you all accept?” John asked and they all nod at him “Wonderful, make me proud” he says grinning.  
“I am making Draco in charge for this team, you are accepted to follow his orders during the mission. Understood?” Draco blinks as they all nod and he gives a smile to John.

“When is our first meeting sir?” Draco asked.

“Friday 21st at 8:00 am, be on time” he says in a warning tone, eyeing all the healers. Draco laughs “You got it old man” he says smiling and the man huffs at him shaking his head with the other healers staring at Draco with wide eyes.

**November, Friday 21 st, 2003**

 Draco yawns loudly, as he walks towards the conference room. He had to wake up half an hour, drop James off too Pansy and then floo to the hospital.

“Morning Draco” Neville greets him appearing out of nowhere, scaring the daylights out of him.

“Alas! Scared the demons out me” Draco huffs, placing his hand to his chest. The taller name grins at him. He shakes his head, opening the door of the conference room, the warm heated air greeting him instantly. Some of the heads turn to look at him, as Neville follows him behind, Draco’s eyes meet John’s who smiles at him in a relief, happy to see him arriving on time.

But nothing could prepare him from the next thing that greets his vision.

None of the things he has done in the past three years could’ve ever prepared him for the sight of those very familiar pair of green eyes looking straight at him. Those eyes, which he has tried hard to forever erase from his memory, from his mind and if possible his entire life. The shock paralyzes him as he stands at the entrance of the door, staring in only one direction. His body freezes, he felt the blood pumping in his veins, heart beat pounding in his ears. It felt like he’s fallen into the dark abyss of glaciers, the cold water sucking him in, like those round green eyes which stared at him widely.

Harry is here.

Harry _fucking_ Potter is here. His husband. In the same room as him. Sitting at the front seat of the conference table.

Draco suddenly can’t breathe- it’s like he’s forgotten how to.

_Why… Why is he here?_

“Draco, are you okay?” He hear Neville ask him, looking hesitant as he stares back and forth between him and Harry but Draco’s eyes are only fixed on Harry, who now stands up wearing the same startled face with a dark stare.

_Thump- thump_

His blood runs cold, he could feel his lips turning cold. No, he can’t be here. Not now. Not on his first mission, where he can’t afford to mess up. His breathing gets heavier and Draco could feel himself getting dizzier as his stomach twirls with ugly butterflies, anxiety taking over him. He could feel his brain getting foggy, unable to form any words as his hands shaking violently.

‘He looks different’ is what Draco first thinks. His black inked hair were now grown longer, covering the nape of his neck looking messier then before. Long enough to cover his scar, as they fall on his eyes almost covering all of his forehead. There were dark circles under his eyes, his skin looked paler then usual and he wore a black turtle neck with a long grey leather hooded Steampunk trench coat and black skinny jeans with brown boots. His eyes fall on the ear piercing, which wasn’t there when Draco left all those years ago. The air was caught in his lungs, a rather heavy lump builds up in his throat and his heart starts to beat faster. Faster, faster and faster. He wants to run away, wants to escape as the air in the room got heavier and heavier.

“Draco!” Draco blinks, dragging his eyes away from the man in front of him and glancing to his side to look up at Neville. He felt too cold, too breathless to even utter a single word of comfort out. He dragged his eyes back up to see Harry still staring at him.

For the first time in years, he has no idea what to say or what to do. His sharp mind has completely collapsed and melded together in a ball of mess. Every memory, every bits of it flashes comes back to him in that second, like a rush of a strong wind, slapping him on the face that wreck him in every possible way leaving him breathless with flooded emotions. He barely snaps out of it when Neville shakes his arm asking him if he is alright, looking worried. His eyes connect breaks with Harry, swallowing a lump in his throat he quickly mutter “E-Excuse m-me, I’ll be back in a second” he says before hastily rushing out of the room.

The minute he’s out, he lets out a shaky breathe of air staring straight into the long hallway ahead of him. Oh God, why, why now? _What? Did you seriously think you wouldn’t ever see him again? Relax Draco. Breath_ he tells himself trying to calm himself down, barely grasping on the reality until he hears the light thud of the door closing with Neville walking out looking panicked.

“Draco, what was that? Why did you get out?” he says putting his hand on the blonde’s shoulder and turning him around.

Seeing the pale, lifeless expression on Draco’s face makes him forgot the rest of his words.

“I-I can’t go back i-in there” Draco shutters, forcing the words out of his tongue. Neville doesn’t know much of Draco, just the general knowledge of what he has seen of him in Hogwarts. But he’s never seen the man so out of place before. So… so _lost_.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

He watches Draco pace back and forth, rubbing a hand through his straight silky platinum hair. Neville’s never seen the man anxious before, he watches as Draco rubs his hand to his face looking paler then earlier. His clam, blank personality gone as he walks back and forth trying to calm himself.

“I-I just can’t, can you please take over? Count me out of this.” he says, in a dismissal tone. “I’ll ask J-John to choose, Haley or Nick, Rika is also amazing, there’s also Susan or-

Neville grabs him by the shoulders making him stop from all pacing which was making him feel dizzy “They want you Draco, Hermione asked for you, she especially requested your name to John”

  
Draco swallows, Neville stares into his eyes catching the underline fear in those stunning silver eyes.

“I don’t care” He says shaking his head, it stuns Neville for a minute when he realises how hard Draco’s shoulders were shaking “I won’t do it, call me off from this team”

“What’s wrong with you Draco?” A frown makes up on his lips and the blonde freezes under his touch. From Neville’s tone, he knows that the man is displeased “Why are you acting like this? You’ve never back down from a contract before, you even accepted to join Charlie Weasley’s team as their healer so why now?”

“I…” Draco feels his heart throbbing fast enough for him to fear that it’ll break through his ribs. He thinks of many words to explain, but they make no sense to him. He doesn’t know where to begin from, where to start explaining from. “You won’t understand, I-

“Is there a problem here?”

Draco visibly jolts, then freezes at the familiar voice which has haunted his dreams for four long years. He doesn’t know what’s making him feel more nauseous the burn of those green eyes staring at him or the violent pounding in his chest, adding unnecessary spins to his head.

It takes all of his willpower to stop his buckling knees from bending forward and collapsing. Trying to control his breathing, he turns his head to the side, spotting Harry standing by the door as the man stares at him wearing an unreadable mask on his face, his features blank as he patiently waits for one of them to talk, his dark eyes throwing stares at Neville and his hands which were rested on Draco’s shoulders.

Oh dear God, Draco swallows, Harry has grown even more handsome then last time he had properly seen him.

 

 

 

And that was a very _long_ time ago.

Neville stares at Harry arching his brow and takes his hands off Draco’s shoulder “Nothing is wrong Harry” he says shrugging his shoulders.

Draco doesn’t know what to do, he thinks he should at least try to cover up his emotion and pull up a mask of emptiness. Doing the first thing which comes to mind, he schools his face narrowing his eyes never breaking the connection of his eyes with Harry’s. The cold stare of those green eyes, sends shivers down his arms making the hair on them stand up with tension.

Neville clears his throat trying to break the heavy atmosphere noticing the intense staring between him and Harry

“I know you and Draco have rival issues since Hogwarts but he’s our best healer so treat him nicely” Draco blinks, he almost chuckled at the comment. It was common knowledge within their close friends and families that Harry and Draco’s relationship was a secret marriage which they weren’t comfortable enough to make it public.

A huge pause follows as Harry stares into Draco’s eyes. He turns his head to Neville and nods his head.

“I know”

_I know._

Harry’s voice echoes in Draco’s brain and the blonde swallows _of course he does, of course._ He thinks. The sudden flow of past memories of past and present makes his head shake. A rush of rage and anger, washes through him and with all the effort he tries his best to remain calm. This isn’t a moment of grief reminder of a terrible heartbreak, he shouts at himself.

This is the perfect moment to prove this bastard of a husband, the man who cheated on him with his best friend’s sister that Draco has moved on. It looks like Harry isn’t going much of a break down, as he calmly stands in front of them with his hands in his pockets and that just makes him loath Harry even more before.

For him, it’s so hard to breath, why does he has to bear with this pain while…

While, Harry stands there looking perfectly fine?

_Fuck him. You don’t care about him Draco. He’s nothing to you anymore. Don’t let him destroy you for a second time. Don’t let him get to you, whatever happens you will get through it but you can’t let this man break you again. Not now. Not never._

If Harry doesn’t give a fuck about him anymore, then Draco will show him that he’s better.

Neville clears his throat again “I know you were away for two year or so Draco-”

“Three”

Draco’s heart flips.

“Three years and 11 months” Harry says, voice sounding as cold as ice. Neville blinks “Right, three years. My apologizes. During that time Harry was promoted and now he’s the head Dept. of Auror” 

A silence falls on them again, as Draco tries his best to collect his voice, trapping his emotions in the core of his chest. He crosses his arms over his blue collar shirt creating folds on his healer white coat from the arms. Clenching his jaw tight, he sends a cool nod of acknowledgement towards Harry as he opens his mouth to speak.

“I know.”

Neville knows their rivalry had been rather insane in Hogwarts though it’s been almost eight years since then. Yet these two still stare at one another with cold eyes, like years didn’t help them grow up at all. If he was too walk away now they wouldn’t even notice. That’s how much they are concentrated on one another. Like they are in their own world, he could practically see the electrifying waves clashing together in between the cold glares of their eyes.

“Well, is there an issues that we should discuss before starting the meeting?” Draco hates the way he uses that casual tone. He hates the way how easily Harry titles his head, arching his eyebrow as his hands rest in his pockets like he really doesn’t give a shit. His eyes locked on Draco and only Draco. It makes him want to slap him on the face, punch him, kick him then hex his ball and rip his heart open then feed it to the wolves.  

_Fuck you Potter. Fuck you._

“No, nothing that concerns you, please mind your own business. We were just about to head in” He says coolly. Neville hisses at him “That’s our boss, Draco!” he whispers under his breathe, next to Draco’s ear. He knows Neville is frowning at him but all he can see is the tightly closed jaw of Harry Potter and before anyone stop him he crosses path, heading towards the door “Let’s get this meeting over with, shall we?”

 He calmly crosses paths with his husband, without sparing him even much of a glance. When he enters, a sudden silence falls in the room and he feels all the eyes on him. Draco ignores it and glances at Blaise, who is looking at him, eyes filled with worried. Draco shakes his head lightly, feeling way too angry to even smile. He takes a seat at the far end of the long table, away from as many people as possible. It wasn’t long till Neville comes and takes a seat beside him following with Harry who takes his original seat at the front.

“Thank you all, for joining us today for this meeting” Harry’s strong and firmed “Firstly let’s welcome all of our healers on joining our team” Draco blokes out the loud applause, refusing to clap at the bastard words. He feels Neville nudge his side but he ignores it all, face stoned solid.

Throughout the whole meeting, Draco has his eye gulled to the screen in front of him or the sheet of notes he’s making. Despites Harry’s heavy gaze on him, he remains as strong as a steel, not even glancing at the man once. He doesn’t even look at Hermione when she stands up to talk, only listening to her explanation of the mission.

“This mission is our top priority at the moment. Three days ago, two deadly and very dangerous death eaters escaped from Azkaban. We have received news from the Dept. of Mysteries that the group is spotted in Bristol and have already killed 50 muggles” She says pointing her wand at the map displayed in front of them. “We also know that the prisoners didn’t escape by themselves. Someone from the outside helped them”

Draco blinks, for the first time he’s glad that his useless of a father is dead already so he won’t be going under any investigation risking James’s life in process.

“The death eaters who escaped are Antoin Dolohov and Stan shunpike” Draco blinks, his eyes slightly roaming across the room, avoiding Harry’s gaze and landing on Ron instead. He sees the man looking stiff, his features school together into blankness, revenge for his dead brother written all over his face. Then suddenly their eyes met and Ron sends him a beaming smile which Draco returns with a slight nod.

“The ministry has sentence, ‘dead if seen alive’, therefore Aurors have all the rights to cast the forbidden spell on these death eaters” Hermione talks for a while as Blaise checks his list off, reminding her of any other topic she had missed.

“Keep in mind that the mission might be longer than a month” Draco knots his brows together, longer than a month? He has a baby to take care of! No, he can’t do this. He can’t leave James by himself for over a month. Hell, he’s never even left his baby alone for more than three hours. He's knocked out of his thoughts, when he sees John stand up from his side perceptive.

“We are delighted to be a part of this mission and proud to help our Aurors achieve their mission” Draco glances up at John, he really did look proud his face was shining. Shaking his head, he bites his lower lip, James. James. He can’t leave James. Not his baby.

“I am happier to announce our best healer joining our team for this mission, Mr. Malfoy, who has recently return from his pregnancy leave” Draco feels his world stop, he could only hear the loud beat of his heart and he slowly looked up at John who was eyeing him, telling him to talk. He glances at Neville, the man practically has his eyes out of his skull as he stares at Draco with open mouth.

He tries to remain clam under all the pressure and all those eyes staring at him widely. Glancing at Blaise who looks as pale as him Draco plasters a fake smile and opens his mouth “I-I” he says in the pit of silence “I am honored to join-

“What pregnancy?”

Draco swear that in that second his heart was frozen. His brain; frozen. His damn body was all frozen! He doesn’t have the energy to glance up at the chilly voice.

“Harry…” He hears Hermione’s soft voice.

“What pregnancy!?” Maybe it was the dangerous sound of the growl or the loud thump of pair of two hands slamming on the table which made Draco look up at the man. Harry was looking at him with angry eyes, brows crossed together and Draco thinks he’s never seen the man look so furious before.

“Harry, Harry please” Hermione says rubbing his arm “Not now. Let’s talk about this matter later” she says softly.

He watches Harry grit his teeth before sitting down on his chair again, eyes boring at him. Draco swallows, this is bad, so bad.

 _What did you think would happen?_ He tells himself _He was going to find out one day. Did you actually think you could hide James from him forever?_

Draco wants to slam his head against the table. Or run out the room and go hide in the safety of his apartment. He feels Neville’s hand on his knee cap, he glances to the side to see the man give him an encouraging smile as he squeezes his tight. Draco doesn’t even has the energy to smile back.

_Harry knows._

_He knows._

_Now he’ll find out about James and take him away from me._

He grits his teeth.

_No he won’t, I won’t let him. James is mine. Mine only, I won’t let him take away my baby. No one can._

“All the Aurors and healers are too meet at the ministry next week Monday, at 8:00 am” Hermione says quickly “For Aurors there will be another meeting held on Friday, please make sure to come as we’ll be discussing strategies and planning”

Draco feels his heart quickened, he places his hands on his files ready to flee out of the room as soon as Hermione ends the damn meeting. He needs to get out and to James before Harry does.

“Thank you all for coming, we’ll see you all again next week”

With that Draco quickly grabs his files, stands up nimbly almost tripping the chair back and rushes by Neville’s chair crossing the table, heading towards the door.

“Oh no, you don’t” He hears Harry say and before he could make a run for it, the man is behind in a speed of agility with his arms around Draco’s waist and in a blink of his world spinning in circles Draco finds himself standing in the living room of 12 Grimmauld Place. His stomach lurches in anger, he girts his teeth and pushes Harry’s arms away from him.

“What the bloody fuck Potter!?” He roars, feeling furious with rage. The man stares at him calmly “You were pregnant?” he asked, voice so dangerously chilly that it send cold shivers down Draco’s shine.

“It’s none of your fucking business” Draco says taking his wand out from his white lab coat.

“Expelliarmus!” Harry shouts and wand slips out of Draco’s fingers landing into Harry’s hands. The blonde blinks, did… did his husband just use wandless magic on him?

“Give me back my wand.” Draco says voice cold, dripping with ice. They stare at one another “Who’s the father?” Harry asked.

Draco can’t believe his ears “Excuse me?” he says.

“Who’s the God damn father Draco!” Harrys shouts making the blonde jump. Draco blinks, then blinks again before falling into a loud hysterical laugh while Harry watches him for a minute giving him a look that clearly screams his concerns for Draco’s mental health.

“You-You” Draco laughs more, unable to help himself “You are such a bastard!” he says holding his stomach.

“Did you actually think I was like you? A cheating arsehole? A useless excuse of a husband who lied about everything he ever once stood for? Damn Potter, you never fail to surprise me” For the first time he sees various emotions flick by Harry’s face and Draco thinks he should feel satisfied when those green eyes flash their gaze back at him with only pain. He always wanted to hurt him, make him suffer worse then what he put Draco through but he doesn’t. He doesn't feel satisfied at all. He only feels empty.

Harry opens his mouth but Draco speaks, cutting him off “You really fucking think, that after three years you can come into my life and force answers out of me like you actually have the right to?” He says glaring at the man in front of him “What makes you think I’ll tell you anything?”

Draco watches as all of those expression fade away from Harry’s face and the stares those green eyes into him “The child’s mine, isn’t he?” He says and Draco snorts, rolling his eyes.

“He’s not.” the blonde says fingers digging into the palm of his hand, voice strong and firmed “The child is _mine_ and mine only.”

His stomach’s curls when Harry’s stare turns soft his features going from anger to disbelieve as he read into Draco’s eyes “I struggled through nine months, went through all the symptoms. Stayed up nights and finally went through a hell of a labour” if Harry is guilty, he’s doing a good job in not showing “and since I have been taking care of _my_ baby all by myself” He says, trying to keep his voice together and patting himself mentally when it comes out flat dripping with ice.

“You left.” Harry argues, his voice a little louder “Without a single word, or a note or even a letter. For three years. For _three_ years, I had no clue where you were” His honest voice is raspy, dripping with hurt, his piercing eyes suddenly sparkled with a layer of water flashing many emotions and Draco feels himself alluring into it, slowly, like the feeling of getting lost in strong mist or like falling for Amortentia, painfully, obliviously “I looked all over England for you. I send letter which always came back to me sealed and untouched. I kept going to Pansy and Blaise but they wouldn’t tell me. I begged Hermione to show me your files but she hid them somewhere in the Dept. of Mysteries, where I couldn’t find them” Draco’s watched as Harry’s face crumbled, his finger squeezing on to his wand. His green eyes gazing straight into his own grey ones “Then a year later, I found out from Ron that you had left with Charlie. With a man, who always felt more than friendship towards you and you left me with him. Then last year when Charlie comes home, I finds out that you two are in some sort of on and off relationship” His voice sounds disgusted and it burns right through Draco’s heart. What on and off relationship? Draco has only shared one make-out session with the older Weasley and that was after giving birth to James. He had been crying over Harry again, sobbing about not been able to bring James up together and suddenly Charlie kissed him then confessing his love. He had obviously rejected the other man, claiming he wasn’t ready for any type of relationship when in truth he was still in love with his husband. So in love, that the idea of being with Charlie or any other man sounded like betrayal towards Harry.

“We are” Draco lies, watching the emotions drain out of Harry's face leaving those green eyes blank “Why the fuck do you care? Don’t you have the Weaslette bitch to worry about?” he hates it when Harry growls, knowing that it’s because he called Ginny Weasley a bitch. Well reality does hurts.

“No. No, I don’t because I never loved her” Harry says, eyes locked with Draco’s.

 _What does that mean?_ Draco thinks opening his mouth “But you fucked her over and over for God knows how long” he says in a flat voice putting slat on his own scars.

“I was stupid okay!” Harry snaps, patients clearly flying out the window “I was insane for cheating on you! Worst mistake of my life!!”

Draco raises both of his eyebrows, he brings his hands together and starts to clap them together “Wow, impressive Potter. Good job on accepting the reality” he says in a dry voice.

“Will you stop acting like a wanker?”

“Give me back my wand”

A pregnant pause passes between them. Harry presses his lips in a thin line, in a second Draco rushes forward and catches Harry’s arm in his hand, pushing them back and landing on the floor. Harry groans, his eyes following Draco’s hand reaching for his wand and he raises his hands above his head out of his husband’s reach. He places a hand on Draco’s waist and flips them over, tucking Draco’s wand in his robe pockets and then grabbing his pale hands pinning them above his head.

“Let me go!” Draco shouts in the empty house, moving his hands in Harry’s strong grip. He groans in pain “A shit, I am getting a migraine” he says and Harry’s eyes widen. Seeing the other’s discomfort Harry quickly jumps off him and moves to the side. He can’t help but notice that Draco looks pale and wonders if the man ate anything today.

“You look sick” Harry says “Do you want water? Or coffee? I can cook for you, would you like that Draco? I could make your favourite food!” He offers, lowering his voice in a gentle way as he doesn’t want to worsen Draco’s migraine. “Do you need the comfort of a room? Or juice, any medicine? Just tell me what you want”

Instead of answering, Harry is surprised to see Draco’s tiny shoulders curling in as they shake violently. He stares at him, completely baffled, listening to the chuckles coming out of Draco’s mouth. They stay like that for a moment and Harry thinks he’s finally managed to break through Draco Malfoy. Which couldn’t be a good thing.

“How dare you?” Draco speaks calming down, looking up at Harry with a flat sober expression “How dare you? You think you can just walk into my life like you own it and disturb the peace of it? How dare you act like you _care_ for me? How fucking dare you!”

Seeing the unshed tears shine in Draco’s beautiful eyes makes Harry’s heart flip and drop to his stomach. He swallows with difficulty, frozen on the spot as he watches the blonde battling the tears down.

“Give me my wand back Potter” Harry flinches at his cold voice, he watches as Draco gets up on his feet, eyes blinking furiously and those un unshed tears disappear behind his eyes.

“Please” Harry whispers standing up “Tell me the baby’s name” he pleads

“Like hell you give a damn. Don’t pretend to care, fuck boy” Draco watches as Harry’s face crumbles together with hurt “Oh please, cut with the act, will you? Let me remind you of something _Auror Potter._ It was you who said ‘I don’t want a child anymore’ so now kindly fuck off and never ask of my baby again with that dirty tongue of yours” Draco voice hostile, brows crossed together furiously creating lines in between.

Harry shakily takes Draco’s wand out from his robes, too numb and ashamed to even spare the man a glance as he return the wand to its rightful owner. He only feels a push off air, pushing his hair back and it’s enough to let him know that Draco is gone.

**November, Saturday 22 nd, 2003**

Its 9: am on Saturday when he hears the doorbell of his apartment ringing. Draco groans, he feels James shaking in arms, AH!, whoever this person is he’s going wake his baby up. He quickly jumps out of bed and rushes down the stairs, swinging the door open ready to give the said person a piece of his mind.

But his eyes widen at the sight of Harry Potter standing in front of his door, holding two bags in his hands and Draco shuts the door on him in panic.

‘Oh my God. Oh my God. What is he doing here!?’ his mind races, too early too even process anything as he feels the handle twist.

“Draco!” he hears Harry says “Please, let me in”

The blonde sighs “fuck it” he whispers, really it’s too early for any type of drama and he swings the door open. They stare at one another and Draco moves to the side giving Harry the room to walk in. He rolls his eyes as Harry takes his shoes off, then his eyes fall on the sliver titanium looped around Harry’s ring finger. Draco’s eyes widen, their wedding ring, Harry’s still wearing it, swallowing “Lock the door.” he says turning on his heels and heading towards the living room, heart pounding in his ears. He waits for Harry in the living room as he collects his thoughts. Soon the sun-kissed man walks in, placing the two large black plastic bags against the sofa. They stare at one another “Why are you here?” Draco asked crossing his arms. He watches as Harry’s eye follow down “I-I brought gift for the baby” he says “I wanted to see if you would let me see the baby? I can go if you don’t want me too…” Draco frowns, it’s like his eyes are gulled in one place.

“Why would I let you see him?” He says, tapping a finger on his crossed arms. Harry glances up at him, eyes wide and Draco catches his husband whisper a small ‘him’ then Harry gulps “I just want to see him, even for five minutes” his voice was desperate, eyes swirling with pleading “Please Draco, just five minutes” They stare at one another _and_ Draco knows he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t but… Harry is standing in front of him, begging him to see James and he wondered how many times has be played this scenario in his brain. How many different lines he has thought of before kicking Harry out of his house. Though, now that his husband stands in front of him with those familiar green eyes he loves so much, he can’t bring himself to say anything besides an okay. Nothing, when those beautiful eyes, stare at him with so much pleading.

“Five minutes.” Draco says, voice firmed. His heart skips a beat when relief washes over Harry’s face and he beams a smile at him. Harry’s eyes then fall down again, staring at one spot “Thank you” he says and Draco frowns. Did he even blink yet? He follows Harry’s gaze and looks down at his own nude legs. A furious blush makes up his cheeks as he remembers that he’s only wearing an over-size with collar shirt which is also half slipped off his shoulders. He reaches his hand down, grabs a cushion from the sofa and throws it at Harry’s face “Pervert” Draco huffs walking pass the man who hugs the cushion to his face, eyes closed and he catches a smile curved up Harry’s lips. Draco unconsciously smiles as well.

He enters his room to see James sitting up playing with air and giggling to himself. Draco smiles and walks towards the baby “Morning darling” he says scooping the baby in his arms “would you like to see Harry?”

“Dwad-di! Dwad-di!” James giggles, clapping his hands together enthusiastically. Draco chuckles and heads downstairs, he spots Harry sitting on the sofa. When his eyes fall on them, in the attempt of getting up quickly he falls off the sofa and Draco has to hold his laugh back but James on the other hand doesn’t bother. He’s laughing loudly as he claps his hand together, clearly entertained. Harry stands up with a chuckle brushing off his black skinny jeans and grey half-sleeve shirt which exposed his fine, fine muscles. His eyes fall on James, Harry walks forward and Draco forces himself not to flinch or move back “I am glad I could amuse you” his voice is gentle towards the baby and Draco watches him stare into James’s eyes. Green eyes finally meeting his son’s green ones. After four long years. Breathing seems to be difficult in this very moment. All those years, he has taken care of James by himself- the countless nights he spend awake, when James would be too cranky or over energetic to sleep. Those days when James would get sick and he would spend the time worrying over the little baby. His heart hallows remembering how many times he has cried at nights, yearning for Harry, wishing that he would miraculously pop in front of him and help him take care of their baby together.

Now that he watches Harry swallow loudly starting at the baby in his arms and thinking that James is oddly silent then usual as he also stares back into his father’s face – he thinks;

It hurts.

_It fucking hurts._

He wants to look away but he can’t. There is this need to scream, to shout, to pull James away from Harry’s reach but he doesn’t. He silently watches the magic between his son and his other father.

Harry licks his lower lips, he bring his right hand up, sticking his index finger “Hello” His voice is gentle, eyes soft and locked with James’s “I am Harry, you are?” he says smiling.

“Dwad-di!!” James says lunching his hand forward to grip Harry’s finger “Dwad-di!”

A tiny wave of magic escapes James’s body and Draco feels it colliding it together with his own filling his body up with warmth. He takes a shaky breathe in. He would have laughed at Harry’s stunned face, if he himself wasn’t so strung out by the heart-melting moment in front of him. By the look on Harry’s face, he’s sure he has also felt the magic.

Harry brings his hand around James’s waist and takes him away from Draco’s arms pulling the baby in his chest and hugging his arms around that tiny body. He feels the blood pumping through his veins, mind racing at embracing form of his baby boy in arms which he has been longing to do for so long.

“That’s right darling” Harry says eyes squeezed shut as he nuzzles his nose in James’s neck “that’s right.”

Draco sucks in a deep breathe, bottom lip trembling violently and he steps back “I am going to the washroom” he says leaving Harry to his privacy. Once the door is shut, he leans his head back on it and sighs. After staring at the ceiling for two seconds he walks towards the sink and grabs his tooth-brush. Once he’s done brushing his teeth and washing his face, Draco changes into black denims and a white over-sized, long sleeves shirt. He tucks the shirt in his jeans and rush a hand through his last night washed platinum hair.

 _You are going to send him home Draco_ He thinks looking at the mirror. _You are going to send that bastard home, because he didn’t even deserve to see Jamie in the first place. He should be happy that you let him hold him_

Harry’s heartwarming smile flashes through Draco’s eyes, the moment James had call him ‘daddy’

 _No! No Draco. Don’t let him get to you_ his brain tells him but his heart could only remember the soft look in Harry’s eyes when he greeted him and the warm smile which appeared on his face when saw James.

Sighing he looks back at the mirror, a sad smile breaks through his lips as his heart throbs thinking how badly he wants to see Harry’s smile again.

 _No! I am going to take James away from him and kick him out_ he thinks before leaving his room and walking down the stairs. He stops his feet when his eyes catch a very happy James sitting on Harry’s lap as the man holds a tiny train in his hands, making noises from his mouth “chook, chook!’ making his baby boy laugh louder than ever.

‘ _I can’t. I can’t do this, James looks so happy_ ’ Draco thinks watching the glow on his baby’s face. He’s never seen the boy look that happy with another person, not even Pansy. Harry takes out another toy, a bunny from the bag he brought with him and pokes its nose on James’s lips making a kissing sound. James giggles loudly, clapping his hands then launching himself forward and Draco watches Harry embrace the child tightly in his arms then placing a kiss on his head.

_I don’t want a child anymore_

Draco grits his teeth, jaw clenched tightly – _He has no right, absolutely no right to hold his James-_ He clears his throat, Harry’s eyes quickly follow up to him “Now that you have seen him” he says “Can you get out of my house?”

Harry’s mouth opens in shock, eyes widening “I-” Draco glares, he walks forward and snatches James out of the other man’s grip “Get out” he hissed, voice dangerously low.

James lets out a high pitch cry “Eyaaaa!” he yells, arms reaching out towards Harry begging to be held by the other again. Draco pushes James back “Stop it Jamie” he says, rubbing his hand on the baby’s back.

“Da! Daa!!” Thick tears roll down from his big eyes, his fingers wiggle forward towards Harry. Draco’s heart clenches, why would James cry for a bastard who doesn’t even want him. He turned his head to send an icy glare at his husband “Get. The. Fuck. Out” he says through his teeth.

Harry flicks a worried glance at James “I’ll come back tomorrow James, I promise.”

_Promise._

Draco growls, Harry watches as those grey eyes stab him with hatred and glares. He nods his head shakily and turns his heels to walk away with a heavy heart.

“NO!!”

The frame hanging on the wall falls on the ground, shattering into pieces.

Harry freezes and Draco’s eye widen. They both swings their heads at the little boy, who had a furious pout marrying on his face “No!” he shouts again, slapping his chubby hands on Draco’s face lightly, tears leaking from his eyes.

“B-But Ja- The baby shakes his head at him violently, the pout still on his lips. He watches as more tears slide down James’s puffy cheeks, his nose red as he stares at Draco with those stubborn eyes. _Like father like son_ , thinks Draco with a sighs, not liking to see his son cry, he wipes the large tears off James’s cheek and leans down to kiss his forehead. He turns his head to glare at the man standing in front of him but Harry gives him a tired shaky smile in return.

“You hold him” Draco says, pushing James forward, Harry’s arms immediately coming forward to grab the baby. The blonde bites his tongue as he watches James clinches onto Harry with a happy smile marrying his face, his tiny arms wrapped around the man’s neck.

Harry smiles entering around the kitchen _‘Still a neat freak’_ he thinks looking at Draco who pulls out a baby chair. He could practically see the walls, the plates and the glasses sparkling with shine. He awkwardly sits on the chair, placing James on his laps and rocking his legs. He watches the blonde move around, standing in front of the oven now and Harry can’t help but to let his eyes drop at that curved waist and those round hips.

“Jamie would you like apple rice cereal, today?” Draco asks, opening the fridge and grabbing the judge of milk.

“No!” he hears a loud squealy voice. Draco stands up, he turns around and stares at the baby who was now seated at the table with Harry’s arms around his waist “is that your words of the week now?”

“No!”

Draco frowns “Who did you even learn it from?” he asks titling his head, walking towards the sink which was beside the fridge.

“Mowwy!” He hears James giggle as he opens a brown cupboard above the sink. His heart jumps when hears Harry chuckles, he grips onto the black bowl in his hand ‘ _You are a disappointment Draco Malfoy’_ he tells his pounding heart.  

“Lair” Draco says ignoring Harry’s heavy stare at his back “I don’t say ‘no’ that much”

“No!”

Draco sighs, he shakes his head and grabs the box off apple cereal from the counter. He hears Harry standing up, from his side perceptive he sees the man tucking James in the baby seat.

“Would you like me to make you coffee?” Harry says walking towards him.

“No” Draco answers quickly. They stare at one another, Harry arches his eyebrow a smirk teasing on the corner of his lips and the blonde rolls his grey eyes, okay so maybe he does uses that word a lot.

Harry makes a cup either way, and Draco is conflicted between dropping it all in the sink or actually drink it. He goes with option three, he makes himself a cup of tea and leaves the mug of coffee on the counter untouched.

“I made you coffee Draco” Harry says, he holds the mug and brings it forward towards the blonde. His grey gaze falls on his hands and Draco’s eyes catches the sliver ring on Harry’s finger, anger boiling in him once again.

“Stop pretending like you care!!” He snaps “If it wasn’t for James, I would have kicked you out a long time ago!”

Harry looks like he’s floundering about what to say, Draco grabs the cup of coffee from his hands and titles it above the sink. “This is the last time I am ever letting you in my house. Accept the door to slam on your face next time” he says grabbing a plate of pancakes and leaving Harry standing by the counter by himself. He hates himself for wondering if Harry even had breakfast, he chews on his bite as the man comes to sit on the chair in front of him. His hand grips on the fork, _I am such an idiot_ he thinks before standing up and walking towards the wooden cupboard. He takes out an extra white plate, then walks over to the fridge talking out honey and whip cream. He can feel Harry’s eyes on him as he walks back to the table. Draco takes two large pancakes out, placing them nicely on the empty plate then adding honey and whip cream on top, just the way he knows Harry likes it.

“Here” he says pushing the plate forward towards his husband “I made extra”

Harry blinks at him “You- Thank you…” his voice trails off at the end as he grabs the plate from Draco’s hand. James lets out a happy high pitch squeal, splashing his hands in his cereal as he giggles to himself.

“Oh bother” Draco mumbles, shaking his head “There’s a long bath coming your way young man” he says watching James clap his hands together.

“So James, huh? What his full name?” and before Draco could even think properly “James Abraxas Malfoy-Potter” spills out of his mouth. He clicks his tongue, cursing himself and looks down at his plate.

“James Abraxas Malfoy-Potter” He hears Harry whisper after him, Draco glances up for a quick second to see a warm smile spread on the man’s lips “I love it” Harry says softly. His heart skips a beat and Draco looks down and takes another bite of his pancake trying to ignore the whole idea of his husband sitting in front of, beside his baby on a Saturday morning.

They eat their breakfast in utter awkwardness, but not knowing what to say. They kept stealing glances, time to time, when they thought the other wasn’t watching. To think there was once a time, when they sat together like this and spoke about countless topics. Endless words and- and… kisses, hugs, teasing, tickling when love flowed through them. When their eyes glittered with care, lust and desire of one another. When their story was actually the perfect example of romance and ideal happily married life.

Draco glances at James, who was now covered with apple cereal, the bowl titled upside down on the tray with the milk dripping down on the ground. He sighs loudly, making Harry look up at him.

“Alright Jamie, that’s enough playing with your food for today” He says pushing his chair back and standing up to unbuckle the baby from the baby chair. “Come to Mommy, you _need_ a bath” Draco says lifting the baby up in his arms.

James shakes his head “No! Dwad-di!” he demands, arms reaching out to the darker man standing on the opposite side of Draco.

He narrows his grey eyes playfully “Are you kidding!? I carried you for nine months and you chose him over me!? Unacceptable” Draco says tickling his finger on James’s stomach. The baby laughs loudly “Are you charmed by his ugly looks? Is that it? Is Mommy not pretty enough for you anymore” he says grinning as he nuzzles his nose in those honey-brown hair, tickling his finger under James’s chin.

Harry watches the scene before him with a lump in his throat, heart aching “MA! Ma!!” He hears James’s voice between his laughter.

“I can give him a bath” He offers and closes his mouth quickly when Draco suddenly stiffens “I used to give Teddy baths” he adds, when Draco’s cold eyes meets his gaze he quietly says “Of course, if it’s okay with you…”

They stare at one another, in truth Draco didn’t accept him to offer, he’s too shocked to answer. When Harry clears his throat only then he opens his mouth “use a shield charm, James likes to flap his hand in the water” he says pushing James forward “The washroom is upstairs on the right across my bedroom”

Harry’s face lits up, the dark circles I under his eyes looking less visible and he grab James’s from him then heading out the kitchen.

Once Harry’s out of the sight, Draco grabs a chair closets to him and sits down cupping his hands to his face “What the hell am I doing?” he groans rubbing his hands to his face. He inhales sharply and lets out a heavy sigh, turning his up to look at the ceiling. Forcing himself to get up, Draco picks up the dirty plates and starts to clean up with pulling his wand out from his pocket.

In less than 10 minutes he’s out of the kitchen and heads to his room to clean up the area. His ears pick up on the loud laughter of James coming from the washroom as he passes by but Draco doesn’t peek in. He can’t, if he does he knows he’ll break down.

He doesn’t know how fast the time passes, his brain lost in old memories when the door of his room swings open and James’s loud voice reaches his ears “Mowwy! Mowwy!” Draco turns his head from the book shelf too see his son’s tiny body wrapped around in a white fluffy towel. A smile curves up his lips “Oh, so now you want me?” He walks up to them, grabs James from Harry and jumps on the bed, flopping them on the soft mattress with the baby giggling.

Draco’s eyes softens as James curls into him, wiggling out of the towel “I love you” he says, running his hand through his son’s honey-brown hair.

“I ya yoooo” James replies and Draco leans down to kiss his head. He brings James closer to his body, the baby yawns loudly and Draco starts to hum a lullaby.

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_ ” He sings softly, voice echoing in the room “ _You make me happy when skies are gray,_ _You'll never know dear, how much I love you_ ” He hears the door click shut, an aching feeling curling around his heart when Harry’s magic leaves his room leaving only cold air behind.

James falls asleep in couple of seconds, warm showers always tire him out. Draco covers his naked body with warm blanket. He puts a protective charm around the bed and leaves the door open before walking down the stairs.

Harry stands up from the sofa as Draco comes to stand in front of him.

“Why are you are still here?” The blonde says crossing his arms pinning his husband under his cold gaze.

Harry looks conflicted, he clears his throat and speaks “I know you said that you never want me here again… but… will you allow me to come back again? Just for tomorrow, I won’t stay long. Just for 5 minutes, let me see him and then I’ll be gone” 

For the first time since they met, Harry looks lost, even scared. For reasons unknown, he can perfect point out the man’s insecurities under that lip bite, his worry behind those green eyes and the obvious stress written on that face, even if he tries to put up a layer of toughness to cover up his emotions, Draco can see right through him and it throws him off. Merlin, this man is too confounding for him. Too much.

“Why? You didn’t even want him in the first place”

“I-I, no- It was because Ginny said-”

Draco growls “Don’t you dare say her bloody name in front of me, Get out.” He snaps, swinging his arm and pointing his finger at the exit. Harry flinches “I am sorry.” He says quickly “I won’t say it. I am sorry.”

Draco takes a deep breath, fingers coming up to squeeze the bridge of his nose “You made a promise to my son, earlier” his brows are crossed furiously as he pins Harry under his unyielding stare “You don’t break promises, right?”

Harry looks down at his feet, feeling utterly guilty and so hopeless against Draco’s hater. The man only looks at him with cold stares or anger, says words which are worse than poisons and stab him with sharp arrows. He knows he deserves all his attitude, every bits of it but doesn’t change the fact that it breaks his heart. He looks up at Draco and nods, turning himself around “Wait” Harry stops his feet immediately and turns his head to look at the blonde.

“Take me off the mission” Draco speaks and Harry looks back at him with wide eyes.

“Why?” The head of Auror asked, brows coming together.

“Because I have a baby to take care of you bastard! Unlike you, I have a responsibility, someone very important to me who I can’t leave for a month or even five fucking hours” Draco snaps.

“Bring James along” Harry argues.

Ire makes its way through Draco’s brain “Are you insane!? How can you even suggest that? Do you realise how dangerous that would be!?” he say, trying to keep his voice down not wanting to wake his baby up.

“It’s not dangerous, I can bring Kreacher with me. The house will be protected with wards” Harry responds adding more heat to Draco’s rage.

“You mean that old elf is enough to protect James from two insane death eaters. No.” the blonde says “Never. Take me off this damn mission right now”

Harry’s calm face, shifts to annoyances “Draco, I can’t take you off at the last minute. We are leaving this Monday, how do you except us to find a new healer the last minute? Someone who is trust enough and falls under all the qualifications”

The rage rampages pass every cell in Draco’s body and invades every part of his mind “You selfish bastard! You always cared for justice first, never others. I won’t leave my son by himself! He’s just a baby, can’t you understand that?” he glares his gaze at those green eyes.

Draco watches as all the emotions drain out of Harry’s face, leaving empty with blankness “Fine” His voice is dark, heavy and deep. It shakes Draco out his rage, he blinks when Harry suddenly takes his wand out and apparats away, leaving him standing by himself in the empty cold living room. 

That afternoon he gets a letter from the ministry that he’s been withdrawal from the mission, he lets out an air of relief he didn’t know he was holding in.

That night his floo actives and he walks forward to see Neville’s face in the fire.

“Hey, mate, can I come through?” The healer asked.

“Yeah, move back” Draco said and watched as Neville’s face disappeared from the fire. He opened the floo and in a blink of green flames, Neville was standing in front of him.

“Aggegooo!!!” James says gasping at the floo, Draco chuckles he turns his head to Neville who was staring at the baby on the carpet playing with his toys “He’s fascinated by the fire”

Neville blinks, he walks towards the tiny baby and crouches down to his knees. James crawls back in panic of seeing a new face “Ma!” he cries loudly raising his hand towards the blonde. Draco walks towards him and picks him up and James turns his head to hide himself in Draco’s long neck.

“Those eyes” Neville says “He’s Harry’s isn’t he…”

Draco stares at his friend, he shakes his head “No. He’s mine” he says patting James’s back gently. Neville hums and walks forward, James curls himself in Draco more “Hi there, buddy” the older man says and the baby burst into tears.

“I think you are scaring him!” Draco laughs stepping back as he pats James’s back quickly “Shh, baby, it’s okay” he whispers to his ear and then leaving gentle kisses on his chubby face.

“Maybe it’s the beard” Neville says rubbing his unshaved chin.

“You do painfully remind me off a gorilla no wonder Jamie got scared” Neville rolls his eyes at the insult and then blinks “Jamie? As in James?” he asks and Draco nods his head slowly. The man blinks at him, he then gives Draco a flat look “I see, that explains a lot” the taller name mumbles under his breathe. He then lifts his hand up “I brought butterbeer” Neville says grinning and Draco grabs the bag from him.

“Lovely” he says with James clenching on to him, eyes squeezed shut and little arms wrapped around Draco’s neck.

“So I heard you got withdrawal from the mission?” Neville says following the blonde into the kitchen. Draco hums, taking two glasses out from the cupboard “Can you grab these?” he says and the other healer nods his head, grabbing the glasses in his hands as they head out in the living room. Draco puts the bottle down on the glasses table and flops himself down on the sofa with James curling into his side as he sucks on his thumb.

“I can’t leave James by himself for a month” He says as Neville pours him a glass of butterbeer. The taller man nods “John isn’t upset you know” Draco blinks, he grabs the glass from Neville’s hands with James’s little hands instantly reaching up from it so that he can dip his hands in the liquid. Draco pulls his hand up, lifting the glass in the air and pushes James’s hand down using his other hand “Why” he asked, placing the glass on the table in front of him as the baby went back to sucking his thumb.

“Because Harry came in earlier, claiming he wants a replacement for you never really giving an explanation. When John tried to ask for a reason all he said was it was an order from Hermione” Neville says taking a sip “Want to fill me in?”

James pushes air out of his lips, rolling his lips making a ‘brrrrr’ sound then giggling, hands running up to rub his lips as the action tickled him. Draco stays silent, Neville could see his eyes moving everywhere, blinking fast a habit of his when he’s nervous he noticed.

“Listen Draco, I am not blind. There’s some obvious tension between you and Harry. A strong one, I might add, awkward and heavy enough to make me nervous when you two are standing in the same room” Draco glances up to Neville as the man cups his glass with both of his hands “I am not accepting an explanation from you. I realise whatever you two had… or have” Draco catches his eyes fall on James “it’s awfully personal. So I won’t ask for anything but what happened today is work related and I am curious to know why Harry took you out of the team. You are our best healer”

He thinks about it, Neville is right, his and Harry’s relationship is very personal. A bond they couldn’t even make public. He wraps his arms around James, bringing him closer to his body and kisses the top of his head “He was here earlier, I explained it to him that I can’t leave James alone for more than a month. I mean I can’t even leave him for more than five hours, I leave him to Pansy when I am at work and during my breaks I come back to check on him. Harry suggested to take James along and guaranteed his safety but… I can’t. He’s just a baby Neville” Draco says in a soft voice, eyes boring into Neville’s as the man nods his head “Yeah, that’s understandable” he says taking a sip from his glass.

“Was he here to see James?” Neville asked and Draco nodded his head, reaching forward to grab his glass and taking a sip then placing the glass on his laps.

“He promised Jamie that he’ll come tomorrow to… but I don’t think he will” if his tone was sad Draco didn’t let himself acknowledge it. Neville stares at him “Why do you think that?” he asks.

“I yelled at him, a little too much… I think it made him upset--- suddenly there was a ‘splash’ sound and Draco looked down to see James’s tiny hands inside his butterbeer glass. He gasps “Oh, James!!” he groans loudly pulling the glass away, voice draining from irk. He quickly places the glass on the table, grabbing James’s hands before they could enter his mouth.

“Do you have your wand?” he asked looking at Neville, who looked very amused by the whole scene. The taller man nods his head “Can you cast the cleaning charm on?” Draco asks and Neville places his glass on the table just a little apart from Draco’s. He reaches down to his healer robes and takes his wand out “Scourgify!” the ex-Gryffindor says pointing his wand at the baby and all the liquid vanishes in thin air.

“Aggggeegooo” His big eyes sparkle, truly amazed as his little mind tried to process the magic performed right before his eyes. James raises his chubby hands to Draco’s face showing him how clean they looked than before “Gookie?” James says with a grin, titling his head.

Draco smiles, he grabs his hands and kisses his fingers tips “yes, all clean” he turns his head to Neville who was smiling at them “Thank you” Draco says and the man shakes his head.

“He’ll come” Draco eyes widen slightly “He’ll come. If not for you than defiantly for Jamie”

Draco tries to smile, the answer oddly hurting him. _If not for you._ Now that he thinks about it, Harry didn’t come for him today either, he came for James. Blinking he vanishes that thought away and forces himself to speak “So, how was work today? I told you to finish the paper work yesterday” he says changing the topic. Neville sighs, leaning back into the sofa and opening his mouth to start talking about how horrible his day went.

They talked for what felt like hours, it wasn’t until till James yawned loudly in his arms when Neville got up on his feet “I guess, it my cue to leave” he says grinning.

“Thank you for coming” Draco says smiling also standing up. Neville smiles at him “Thanks for having me” he says walking towards the floo. Draco’s heart thumps, words forming in his mouth and right when Neville enters the floo he shouts “Don’t let him die!” he watches as the man freezes holding the powder in his hands. They lock eyes “D-Don’t let him die… he’s really careless, an idiot with a wand and rushes into danger like a damn hero he is. Watch over him for me… please?” Draco holds James against his chest, his hand on the baby’s tiny head as he breathes heavily. A smile makes Neville’s face “I’ll watch over him, it’s a promise” he says. Draco lets out a sigh, he feels his heart getting lighter “Goodnight Draco” Neville says.

“Goodnight Neville” Draco says and the taller man drops the powder on the ground yelling his destination out loudly.


	2. Give me a reason to come back

**November, Sunday 23 rd, 2003**

The next day Draco wakes up right at 10:00 am, he groans, mentally kicking himself. His eyes lazily fall on the tiny body curled up to his chest and a smile makes up to his lips. Draco leans down and presses his lips on James’s head, the fragrance of baby powder reaching his nose. He pulls the warm blankets up, tucking them around his baby and snuggles into his pillow. His arms wrapped around James, protectively, holding him close to his chest.

He can’t fall back asleep, his eyes glancing back to the clock after every 5 minute or so. He closes his eyes gently, maybe Harry isn’t coming after all, he thinks disappointment taking over him. He shouldn’t be surprised though, the man has a habit of breaking promises after all. Somethings, just don’t change.

He sighs and sits up on his bed, might as well make breakfast because there is no way he can fall back to sleep now.

 

Draco wipes James’s mouth and glances at little digital clock on his oven; 12:00pm.

He swings his wand through the living room, cleaning the area with James sitting on the sofa and watching muggle cartoons again. His eyes fall on the clock again; 2:00 pm.

He bookmarks the page then slams his book close, scooping James up in his arms and heading towards his room. He puts the baby on the bed, heading towards the closet to grab some warm garments. He changes his shirt to a thick black bunny romper puts a pair of warm wool socks on his feet before he zips it up. He grabs a bottle of baby lotion which smells like strawberries and applies it all over James’s pale puffy cheeks “We are going out baby” Draco says leaning down to kiss his pointy nose. James giggles as he lays flatly on his back, enjoying Draco’s hands rubbing on his face. The blonde pulls back and heads towards the closet again, changing his outfit into a warm oversized wool grey sweater with black denims. He combs his platinum hair, letting them fall on his forehead and goes to his bed to comb James’s tiny hair. He tosses the hair brush on the bed and scoops his baby in his arms, the long sleeves of the sweater covering his hands. As he heads down he grabs his wand and wallet from the basket which was in the middle of the table in the living room. His eyes travel up to the clock; 5:00 pm.

Gritting his teeth he walks out of the living and suddenly the doorbell rings. Draco blinks, he walks forward grabs on the handle and swings the door open.

Harry blinks at him from the other side “Hi” he says looking at them eyes checking him out from head to toe.

“Dawd-di!!!” James shouts loudly.

“Oh my God” Draco hears Harry mumble lightly, he watches as the man pushes his hands in his black trench coat and pulls out a muggle device, cell phone.

“Hold him properly for me, please” Harry says pointing the back of the phone at James. Draco rolls his eyes and pushes James’s hands down “Smile Jamie!!” Harry says wiggling his fingers under the baby’s chin. James giggles loudly, brings his tiny hands up and Harry clicks a picture “I am so sending it to Hermione. Our baby is the cutest” he hears the man say and the blonde feels his heart drop.

_Our baby._

 

 “Why are you here?” Draco asks. A frown makes up Harry’s lips, he shuts his phone of and slides it back in his pocket “What do you mean? I promised I would come…” he says giving Draco a confuse look.

“Da!!DAAA!!” James yells, arms flying forward so forcefully that Draco almost dropped him. Harry reaches forward in time, to place his hands around the baby and grabs him in his hold.

“Hi there pumpkin” he says kissing James’s cheeks.

“Do realise what time it is?” Draco says crossing his arms “I thought you meant in the morning”

He watches as Harry drags his hand up and rubs it at the back of his neck, an action he’s seen the other do many times when he’s nervous “Yeah, I am sorry for being late. I had to find a healer for our mission and it took more time than I thought it would”

A wave of guilt, which he shouldn't feel, hits the core of his chest and thankfully before he could form words on his tongue Harry’s phone rings.

The man shuffles through his coat again and pulls out his phone, a grin falls on his lips making Draco wonder who the text was from. As if Harry had read his though he turns his phone around and pushes the screen to his face “I think she might be serious” Harry says smiling and Draco glances his eyes down at the screen.

‘Mione: “BRING HIM TO MEEE!!! <3 <3 <3 OR I’LL KIDNAP HIM!”

A smiles curves up his lips and Draco shakes his head in amusement “Can’t now, I am taking James to the park” he says moving pass his husband and taking a pair of grey sneakers out from the shoe rack.

Harry grows nervous “Can I join?” he asks, his grip getting slightly tighter on James. Draco bites his lower lip, bending down to slip on his sneakers. He already knows James isn’t going to let Harry go, plus it was major coincidence that he walked in right when Draco was about to leave. The man also kept his promise regardless of his excuse. It takes a few minute of hesitation before Draco’s shoulder slung down slightly and he mutters out a small “ _Fine_ …” proceeding to stand up and grabbing the house keys from the key holder. James claps loudly, squealing and Draco turns his head to see Harry leaning forward to kiss his forehead with a smile tug on the corner of his lips.

He stares, his brain clouded with the innocent display of affection and his throat suddenly clenches up tightly leaving his tongue dry. James looks ecstatic and Harry’s face has lit up with refreshing, relived grin different than his usual blank face. He turns his head away, grabbing on to the handle and twisting it to turn open.

Harry’s eyes watch the side view of the blonde’s face. He’s still as beautiful as ever, perhaps more prettier now then he was before. A lot has changed about him in the years and yet he still look the same as he did all those years ago, as familiar as ever.

But… something is missing.

And before Harry could put his fingers on it, Draco had walk out his apartment and turned to look at him. Their eye lock and for a minute they stare at one another.

Harry takes a step forward and walks out of the apartment holding James in his arms and Draco locks the door, placing the key in his jean pockets. Harry’s eyes fall at his denims, he’s never seen the blonde wear any muggle clothing before. He always wore robes and Harry loved them on Draco. Though the muggle clothes he wears now, nearly bring Harry’s heart out of his chest. Draco looks absolutely gorgeous in them, breath-taking. He loves how his long legs look in denims, but then again he loves everything about the man.

They walk out the lobby of the apartment, heading towards the park which was just around the corner.

“When is James’s birthday?” Harry asked, trying to break the heavy awkwardness between them.

“Why do you care?” Draco says, something Harry was already accepting the man to say. He smiles, the corner of his mouth lifting up slightly “I want to be there on his special day” he says.

Draco snorts, he glances at the tall man next to him “You weren’t there when he was born” Harry looks like he’s swollen a lemon, the blonde rolls his eyes and looks away stepping into the park. It’s a small place of circles with swings and slides, filled with couple of kids.  

“Who’s the new healer?” Draco ask walking on the fresh grass. The park was circled with a warming charm, the few kids who were there had their jackets stripped off to just shirts and shorts. When Harry doesn’t answer he turns his head to arch an eyebrow “Well?” Draco says staring at the man. He watches as his husband gulps, eyes panicked and looking very nervouse “We-We, well, Hermione asked G-Ginny to join the team…” he says avoiding Draco’s gaze. The blond grits his teeth, of course Potter would as _fucking_ Ginny Weasley. Why wouldn’t he? After all he has, just how many times, fucked her?

“Whatever. I really don’t give a fuck about you and your slut” Draco says as the heat of the warming charm hits him and Harry’s head snaps to look at him. There’s pain and hurt washing in his eyes and Draco thinks; what the fuck? How dare he- He sighs, tries to calm himself and opens his mouth “I am going to take his romper off” he says stepping forward and without waiting for an answer he brings his fingers up to James’s neck and pushes the zipper down. Underneath the romper James’s is wearing a white shirt and blue tiny shorts with pockets.

“Mowwy” James giggle, Draco smiles, he leans forward and kisses his forehead without realising how close he was standing with Harry.

An old women with grey hair and fancy robes turns around to look at them. She gasps “Hello Draco, darling” the women greets him. “I haven’t seen you since last week!” she says laughing.

Draco smiles “Hello Alexandra” he nods his head “I have been busy, but I thought I could bring James today”

The women’s eyes fall on Harry, who smiles quickly “Hello” he greets.

“Oh my” Alexandra gasp “It’s Harry Potter” Draco rolls his eyes “You and little James have the same eyes” she whispers looking at the baby then at the man. Draco feels his breathe locked in his throat, he turns and grabs James’s from Harry “I am going to take him to the swings” he says quickly and then walking away to the swings for babies. Carefully he puts the baby inside the toddler black plastic swings, near the monkey bars and gives it a gentle swing.

“Yaa!!” James laughs loudly, delighted at the lift of his body in the air. Draco schools his face into solid, ignoring, when Harry comes to stand next to him.

“You bring James here often?” the man asked. Draco only nodded his head, refusing to use his voice as he pushes James’s again. They stay in silence, awkward at first then melting into odd comfort with Harry standing beside him the whole time. Soon Draco picks the boy up and takes him towards an empty shadow spot under the tress far away from the playground. They sit on the grass, with Harry sitting beside him as they silently watch James’s crawl and play in the grass. He doesn’t know how long they watch the little baby, maybe 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour or whole two hours. To be honest it feels more than three hours as the sun sets down slowly because James’s has crawled up to his legs at some-time and was now fast asleep but all Draco could think about was Harry sitting right next him. So close that if he shifts, there’s shoulders would bump together.

“Draco!” He hears a loud manly voice call for his name. Draco looks up, the same time Harry does and groans immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked looking at the man running towards them and then glancing at the blonde.

 “That guy, he just doesn’t get a hint” Draco mumbles to himself when a tall man with flashing blonde hair comes to stand next to him.

“I knew that was you!!”

Draco stands up, holding James’s in his arms as he forces a smile on his face “Alastair. Long-time.” Draco says, his eyes falling on the baby boy in Alastair’s arms “Hello, Leo” he says. The overly chubby face, cuddles in his father’s neck, hiding his face away from Draco.

“Is that Harry Potter?” Alastair says, eyes wide and Draco resist to roll his eyes “It would seem so” he says looking down at James. Alastair walks forward towards Harry who was also standing now and takes his hand out “An honor to meet you sir” he says smiling widely.

Harry shakes his hand, a smile plastered on his face “Nice to meet you too” he says gripping the man’s hand in his. He watches as this Alastair dude, turns his head away too look at his husband “So Draco… I was wondering if you are free tonight, would like to go out with me for dinner?” He asks as the blonde shuffles James’s to his shoulder so that his head wouldn’t hang down his arms.

“Tonight?” Draco says rubbing his hand softly against James’s back as Alastair nods his head.

“Yeah, there’s this new restaurant which opened last week. I thought we could, you know, check it out together…” he trails off, eyes filled with hope as he stares at blonde. Oh, God how is he supposed to reject this man? Draco is running out of excuses here but this infuriating wizard just won’t take a hint and leave him alone.

“He’s busy tonight” Draco blinks and looks to the side, eyes following behind Alastair to see Harry’s jaw clenched tight and fingers curled in. Alastair blinks “O-Oh, are you busy Draco?” he asks looking at the blonde.

“Yes” Draco says eyes locked with Harry “Yes. I am busy” he says glancing at Alastair, faking a smile and then looking back at those green ones which hasn’t looked away from him.

“Oh, alright then” Alastair says looking in between them “I guess, I’ll just go”

Draco doesn’t know when the man actually walks away, but in the moment all he knows is that he has seen Harry look this annoyed, frustrated and angry before. The emotions swirling in his eyes, he’s terribly aware of them, they are the same emotions he sees when Charlie flirts with him. He knows it, but is too scared to admit it, because why would Harry be _jealous_ off someone else when he’s the one who cheated on him.

Draco turns his heals, walking out of the park and quietly walks towards his apartment. Harry’s cologne makes up his nose as they walk together. That very familiar smell of after shave which is mixed with a scent which is just him and it drives him mad.

He unlocks the door, walks upstairs to his room, places James’s down on the bed and walks out the room heading downstairs.

“What the fuck was that?” Draco asked crossing his arm as he and Harry stand face to face in the living room.

“What was what?” Harry asked in a cool voice, shrugging his shoulders. Draco presses his lips together, ire cracking in him like a glint of fire “Stop playing games. Why did you say that to Alastair?” he says eyes glaring into those calm green ones.

“Because I don’t want him to take you out for dinner” Draco hates it. He hates it, how easily those words came out of Harry’s mouth. Like he actually means them. Like really doesn’t want Alastair to take him out. His eyes fall on the silver ring looped around Harry’s ring finger, rage rushes up his brain and he fist his hands in a knot.

“Why do you still wear that ring?” Draco whirls around, his voice was low but vehement, stiffness pressed into his face. He couldn’t understanding this man, he feels so conflicted and last bit he wants is to get any mixed sighs from Harry who cheated on him with his best friend’s sister and claimed he didn’t want a child with Draco. A part of him desperately wants to know _why_ Harry keeps on coming back into his life. What does he want? Why does he still hold onto such a significant item all the time, the tantalum sliver looped around his ring finger as if he wants the whole world to see it? Why is he holding onto the past when Draco is trying so hard to erase every evidence of them ever happening?

“I-”

“What _exactly_ do you want? Why do keep on appearing?” Draco snaps. It’s like a blizzard of a sand storm has hit all of his nerves awakening his deepest ire as it trails out of the tone of his voice and the pinning gaze of anger he has fixed on Harry. He doesn’t want to give the man a satisfaction of knowing his distress, but how does anyone expects him to react after seeing that ring way too many times for his own liking. The curiosity was killing him when he first saw it and it makes him wonder if Harry ever took it odd.

Now that Draco has finally asked him something about their past, he doesn’t plan on hiding behind the bushes. He has waiting enough and done exactly what Hermione asked him to do. Respect Draco’s wishes and wait for him to talk first. He steps forward, moving closer to Draco’s personal space as green eyes stare into those icy grey ones “I want to talk”

A hysterical snort bubbles out of Draco’s mouth “You want to talk?” his upper lip curled into a sly crook of smirk and he crosses his arms over his chest, mocking the man in front of him “What’s there left to talk about? You and I, we are history, there’s nothing else left to say. We are done, there's nothing left of us.”

“There is” Harry response “There’s so much of us left”

His words add more fire to Draco’s anger. The _nerve_ of this man to actually say something like that. Who does he think he is? Draco wants nothing but to hex him in this moment.

“I want you to get out” he says turning around, ending the conversation but then suddenly he’s turned around by a strong hand and is standing face to face with his husband again.

“No” Harry’s deep voice drops an octave lower, the intensity of his expression softening “No more running Draco” Shivers run through his body, leaving goosebumps on his arms at the fierce look in Harry’s eyes.

Suddenly he realises something very important “I know what you want” Draco says voice sounding serious, thoughtful and knowing “You want to steal James away from me” The moment those words escapes his, a frown falls on Harry’s lips and his brow knot together creating lines in the middle.

“What are you saying?”

Draco narrows his eyes, sharping his glare into Harry’s eyes “I won’t let you” he says in a low dangerous voice, letting Harry know that he’s not scared of him, even a bit “Even if wizards and muggles come together, I won’t let you have my son. Never. Over my death body.”

Harry’s eyebrows rise up to his hairline in amusement and the blonde wants nothing more than to punch him. A deep hum comes of his throat, making Draco’s stomach twirl, his eyes fixed only at him, he speaks in a clam tone “You talk like he’s only yours. He’s _my_ son also.”

Draco glares at him darkly “You don’t have any son. He’s mine.” He says voice luring with low rage, growling out from his throat. Anger trembles through his body as he’s tightly holds onto the urge to push Harry down and burst punches on his face.

“I don’t?” Harry’s brows tug together, as he titles his head slightly. He takes a step forward, stepping closer to him as their feet almost touch and Draco felt a wave of anxiety hit his stomach “Are you sure?”

“What are you doing?” the blonde asks quickly taking a step back, in hope to create a wide distance but his heels hit the front of the sofa and he realise that he doesn’t have enough space left. He turns his head back to his husband who has a low smirk placing on his lips and Draco doesn’t know why Harry’s doing all of this. He just wants the man to take a fucking step back because one things is for; he doesn’t want Harry touching him.

“Do really need me to remind you?” Draco feels a twirl of panic swirling in his stomach as Harry takes another step forward, his strong hands coming around his back to hold him in a place “Have you really forgotten, how we over and over-”

Draco feels the heat rush through his cheeks, he places his hands on Harry’s chest and pushes the man back forcefully but Harry doesn’t even move an inch. Damn that Auror training.

“If you don’t let me go, right this moment, I swear to God Auror Potter-

“What?” Harry challenges, catching Draco’s wrist in his hands, his nose nearly brushing against the ex-Slytherin. For a moment Draco couldn’t breathe. His heart beat accelerate at an insane speed as he watches Harry’s fixed eyes on his own slowly travelling down to his lips then coming back up to his eyes “What are you going to do?” he whispers leaning in more till there forehead joins. On the touch he feels an electrifying wave shocking through his system and he feels Harry rub their foreheads together “Hmm? What will you do?” he mutters again.

“I…” Draco feels his throat strangely blocked up. Harry stays frozen on spot, as his gaze travels down to his lips again and Draco isn’t sure if he wants to be kissed by those lips again which betrayed him by kissing another women “I’ll break your nose again”

Harry’s eyes travel up to him, a familiar fire breathing in them “Will you? Is that a promise?” he says leaning his face in and in panic Draco steps back making them fall back on his large comfy sofa. He opens his eyes to see Harry hovering over him, eyes never moving away even for a minute. They stare at one another, Draco could hear his heart pounding in his ears when Harry’s face leans down. He nudged his nose against Draco’s, and their mouths come together in a soft lip lock, pressing together again after long years. Harry hears Draco take a sharp intake, hands flying up to grab his shoulders the sudden action making the blond cling his arms around his neck. He pushes his lips together, Draco forces his head away and breaking away from the kiss “S-Stop-” his voice breathless. He feels Harry rub his nose gently across his cheek, then leaving soft kisses all over. He kisses his temples, his forehead, his cheeks, his him and finally when Draco sees Harry’s lips coming towards his eyes he closes then feeling a brush of Harry’s lips on his close eyes lids.

“Why?” the man whispers against his lips, Draco guesses he took too long to answer because those lips which he was staring at were back on his. Harry kiss him slow, moving his lips softly that Draco could feel himself melt against his touch. He finally throws all of his caution, the state of his right mind out the window. He relaxes his arms around Harry’s neck, all the restrictions fading way with his powerful longing emotions. He puts his hand on the back of Harry’s head, deepening the kiss as he opens his mouth again, for the _only_ man he has ever loved. Harry’s mouth was soft but his tongue was softer as it comes to wrap around his. Their bodies are warm, Draco could feel the heat travelling between them and for a second he felt Harry’s heart beat against his own, at the same time. Their tongues, pushed together, moans filling the air and Draco titles his head a little more for a better angel. Harry pulls away a little for some air but he’s leaning up to join their lips again. Harry cups his face, caressing his cheeks gently as his tongue swipe against the bottom plate of Draco’s teeth in between his bottom lips then moving up to arch against the roof of Draco’s mouth coming back to rest against his tongue. Their tongues twirl together, pushing then pulling and Draco thinks the butterflies in his stomach are going to rip out of his skin. He’s missed this, God he’s missed this. This intense desire, the feeling of just being held in Harry’s arms. Just the thought of it make Draco pliant in his arms, melting into him and getting beyond lost in their passionate kiss. Nobody had ever kissed him like this before. No one can ever can. He has kissed many men before and he knows no one has come as near as Harry in making him feel so lost, so drunk on lust. It’s an electrifying experience a longing connecting between them as they pull and kiss each other with insane intensity.

Harry is still an arsehole, a manipulating bastard and Draco is so fucking gone in his spell.

Suddenly his floo lit ups and they quickly jump apart as green flames flashes in front of them with Draco pushing Harry off the sofa.

“Hey mate!” Neville’s happy voice echoes in the room and Draco is so breathless that he can’t even reply if he wants too.

“Oh, Hi Harry. Why are you laying on the ground, mate?” Neville asked but he gets an angry groan in return half muffled in the floor. He blinks, then looks up at Draco whose pale cheeks were flushed red, lips swollen than usual. Narrowing his eyes he glances back down at Harry who was pushing himself up in a push up and Neville catches the hit of blush on his cheeks as well.

“Er, did I interrupt something?” he asks awkwardly.

“No!”

“Yes.”

Neville blinks “Um…” he trails off “I think, I just leave-

“Get out” Two heads swing at him, eyes widen at his railed voice but his grey eyes are only staring at one man “Get the fuck out!!” he shouts at Harry, who immediately gets up.

“Dr-

“GET OUT, POTTER!” he screams loud enough for his voice to echo through the whole house. There’s a silence “Harry, mate I’ll see you tomorrow” he hears Neville’s voice. Draco glances up to see the man eyeing them worriedly as he steps into the floo and with a wave of green flames Neville is gone.

Draco almost wants to laugh when the back of his eyes start to burn “Fuck you” he mumbles turning around and running up the stairs. He tries not to slam the door for the risk of waking James up and somehow is surprised when he succeeds. Closing his eyes, he slides down against it, the kiss replaying in his head. He groans lightly and grabs his hair in his fist pulling on them harshly ‘ _what the fuck is wrong with me!?_ ’ he whispers to himself. Draco can’t believe himself. He fucking _gave_ in… just like that, so fucking easily and kissed the man he hates the most-

FUCK!

He pushes his hand at the back of his head and stares into the ground beneath him, looking at the soft carpeted floor.

_Why are you doing this to yourself, Draco? Isn’t it enough that you have already suffered so much because of this man? Seriously, what the bloody hell are you doing! How could you just- after so many years of suffer, of pain- how could just you **give** in to him? How!! What the fuck is wrong with you?_

Draco can’t help but to feel betrayed by himself. He pushes his head back at the wooden door, eyes closed realising that he’s too God damn weak to even keep his feelings at bay. His heart clenches and he doesn’t know if it’s because of his pathetic self or the fact that Harry’s magic is still in the air. Draco isn’t sure if the man is gone or if he’s just feeling emotional enough to keep sensing Harry’s magic around him. Either way he stands up, changes his clothes and gets in the bed beside James’s under the blanket.

Harry groans, pulling on his hair. Cursing himself for the 80th time, he takes in a deep breath and walks up the stairs to Draco’s room. Opening the door, he’s already thinking of getting his hands on the ground and apologizing but he’s greeted with a sight of a sleeping Draco and James. His heart clenches as he walks towards the bed and sits beside the blonde. He stares at the beautiful sleeping face of his husband for a couple of minute.

 “I am sorry” he whispers leaning down to leave a kiss on those rosy lips “For everything” he kisses the blonde’s forehead before getting up and walking out the room.

 

*

When Draco walks in the living room the next morning leaving for work, his eyes catches an empty sofa and a note placed on the glassed table.

He places the baby bag on the ground and grabs the little piece of white paper in his hands

**I’ll see you in a month, hopefully sooner.**

**Thank you for letting me see Jamie.**

**~~Don’t leave again~~ ** **… ~~Please~~. ~~I l~~ …**

**Take care**

**-Harry**

He couldn’t read the scribbles, they were heavily scratched by many black ink lines. The note crumbles in his fist and he grits his teeth, he shoves it down in his pocket then grabs the baby bag heading towards the floo with James soundly sleeping in his arms.

**December 1 st, Monday, 2003**

Draco curiously blinks at the familiar snowy owl standing at his window. The owl titles its head at him and the blonde shakes his head scooping James in his arms and walking out his room.

**December 8 th, Monday, 2003**

The owl is back on his window and Draco ‘shoos’ at him waving his hand in the air, he watches as the owl flies away with the un-opened letter.

**December 15 th, Monday, 2003**

He doesn’t even bother looking at the owl and walks out his room.

**December 21 st, Sunday, 2003**

Draco sighs to himself “Oh darling, I am so excited!! Our first Christmas together after so long!” he forces a smile at Pansy, as he pushes James up in his arms. The mall was packed with wizards, jingle bells ringing almost everywhere. Elves walking around giving candies to kids, fake snow falling everywhere, magic scattered in the air. He and Pansy were holdings, bags and bags of gifts, he shopped for the Weasleys first since they were a big family. Then he went around many shops, asking Pansy what she wanted but of course her being her, she said “Surprise me!!” making his life harder than ever.

Though right now, as they sit together on a table at the food court, she frowns at him “Will you please just tell we what’s bothering you already? It’s been a month Draco!” Pansy says crossings her arms under her heavy breast.

“It’s nothing” he grumbles grabbing a napkin and wiping James’s face with it.

“Mowwy” The baby giggles, cuddling into him and Draco leans down to press a kiss on his chubby cheeks. Today Draco had him wearing a brown reindeer romper which complimented his fair skin as his cheeks glowed with a heavy blush.

“Don’t lie to me” Pansy says, grabbing her drink and sipping on it “Blaise told me, you know. How Potter apparated you away after the meeting, in front of everyone”  
Draco bites his lower lip, he grabs his milk mango shake from the table and sips on it, James’s tiny hand immediately reaching up for it.

“He found out about James” the blonde whispers bringing the large glasses cup down towards James, then popping the straw in his mouth. Pansy’s eyes widen comically “What! And? Did he threat you? Has he seen Jamie?” she says, her voice panicked urging Draco to talk more. He sighs as James happily sucks on the straw, gulping down the delicious milky shake “No he didn’t threat me” Draco says shaking his head slightly pulling the glass away, but James’s hands stopping him as he pulls the straw back in his tiny mouth “And yes, he has seen James. In fact he practically spend the weekend at my house”

It’s hilarious how dramatically Pansy’s mouth falls down, he has to bite his tongue to not laugh “What the bloody fuck!!” she shouts, effectively startling the people around her. Draco’s hands fly to James’s ears “Pansy!! There’s a child in my laps!” he hisses at her and she covers her mouth.

“I am sorry!” Pansy says quickly as the blonde moves his hands away “But do explain, what was he doing _at_ your house?”

He grumbles under his breathe, dragging the milk shake up and sipping “Eya!!” James’s squeaky voice makes his ears demanding for the milk shake. Draco brings the glass down again, pushing the straw in his baby’s mouth again “Well, there’s not much to say really. He just appeared in front of my house on Saturday morning. I don’t know where he got the address from” his voice trails off as Pansy’s icy cold glare pins him down.

“Why didn’t you kick his arse out the door!?” Draco bites his lower lips again, warping arms around James “Because… he might be a down right bastard but he is still James’s father. Every time he comes, he brings gifts for him and James… the little traitor loves him” he explains “Sometimes more than me I think” he adds with a pout, a bit of jealousy leaking from his voice.

Pansy stares at him, a frown marrying her beautiful face “Why are you doing this to yourself Draco?” she speaks softly “Why are you hurting yourself like this?”

A thug of sharp twinge crosses his heart, his brows come together painfully and eyes get smaller “I-I, no… I” he shutters not really sure what to say. Pansy stares at him, reading into his eyes “God Draco” she shakes her head a sad smile making up her lips “You are an idiot”

He looks at her, heart aching in his chest knowing that she has seen right through him “Yeah, I am” he whispers letting out a shaky breath “A big one” He mutters and she nods her head at him.

“Will you be coming to the Weasley Christmas dinner?” He asked changing the topic, realising his raspy voice. She nods her head “We always go, especially since Blaise is Hermione’s assistant so she always insist on us coming” Pansy says sipping on her drink “You are coming right?” She asks arching her brow and Draco nods his head “I am forced too” he says rolling his eyes “Hermione threaten to kidnap my child away from me otherwise” he smiles when Pansy’s bubbly laughter fills the air around them.

**December 22 nd, Monday, 2003**

Draco paces around the room, _relax Draco_ he tells himself _it’s only been a day above a month maybe they are coming back now!_ He tells his panic heart. He glances at the window, waiting for the familiar snowy form but no owls comes for him that day.

 _I should have taken that last letter_ he tells himself, his heart beat falling down to his stomach.

**December 25 th, Tuesday, 2003**

“Honestly Draco, this is the cutest romper ever!” Pansy says, hugging James tightly in her hers pressing her cheeks against the baby’s “Of course it is! Aunt Pansy got it for her favourite nephew after all, isn’t that right baby” She uses that soft baby tone of here whenever she speaks with James.

“Yaa!!” James giggles as Pansy rubs their cheeks together, then she kisses him “Yes it is baby, yes it is” she says hugging him again.

“Draco what’s wrong?” Blaise asks him through the mirror ignoring the ranting of his wife who was sitting on the bed cuddling the poor baby. The blonde sighs, he shakes his head “Nothing” Draco says lightly fixing his red tie. Blaise eyes him “Don’t lie to me” he says “We’ve been through this before”

Draco sighs again, he hesitated for a moment then opens his mouth to speak “I was wondering… about the mission. When do you think they’ll be coming back?”

Blaise blinks his eyes “Oh” his eyes catching Pansy’s from the mirror “They came back last night” Draco’s ears pick up instantly and he looks up to see Blaise staring at him “I see” he says a breathe of relief escaping his lungs “That’s good” he add quietly.

There’s a silence in the room, only James’s loud voice echoing as he plays with his hands. Draco fidgets, biting his lip trying to lock his lips so that words won’t escape his mouth.  

“Just tell him Blaise” Pansy says from the back, standing up to straighten her elegant long-sleeve lace knee shoulder off, skin tight red dress.

“Tell me what?” the blonde asks quickly, Pansy rolls her eyes at him and Blaise sighs “Potter… he got hurt on the battlefield”

It was like a shock of wave had hit him, he felt like the heavy pounds off stones falling on his body. He takes a step back, legs shaking “W-What… Is he okay? Why didn’t you tell me before!?” Draco almost shouts, his heart pounding in his ears. A loud cry comes from James, but he’s too shaken up to even glance. Where is Harry? How badly is he hurt? Is he cursed? Is he in the hospital? Is that why no letter came, oh Merlin, please no.

“Clam down Draco!” Pansy shouts at him grabbing James in her arms and patting his back “That bastard only cracked his head open, he’ll be there at the dinner”

It’s like the grounds back under his feet comes back and he can breathe again. He looks at James and rushes pass a stunned Blaise to grab the baby boy in his arms “Shh, I am sorry baby. I am sorry” he whispers bouncing the crying boy in his arms, wiping his tears away. James sniffs “ageoo” he mumbles rubbing his face in Draco’s silk ink black collar shirt. He turns his head to look at his two best friends who were frowning at him. His face crumbles and Draco looks down at the ground, bringing James closer to him “Let’s just go” he whispers miserably, heart aching and mind screaming at him for showing yet another moment of weakness.

*

After three knocks the door finally opens and Draco is greeted by a very tall Ron Weasley “Mate!! About time you are here!” the man shouts happily grabbing him in a manly hug. Draco doesn’t even get to process when a loud squeal from Hermione Granger startles him as the lady practically snatches his child away from his arms.

“You are the _most_ adorable thing ever!!” she shrieks in excitement hugging James tightly in her arms, the baby too shocked to even react. His red and white Santa romper wrinkles under her hold as she leans forward to kiss his cheek.

“Hello to you too” Draco says dryly and James turns his head to him face looking panicked “Ma! Ma-ma” He calls, hands reaching forward to his mommy. Hermione laughs loudly “He calls you Mama?” she asks her lips lifting up in a teasing smirk. Draco rolls his eyes and steps forward into the house, he was about to reach out to grab his son when Hermione calmly patted James’s back “It’s okay” she says softly “I won’t hurt you”

Draco watches as his son relaxes down a little, hands dropping down again and Hermione kisses his cheek again happily.

“Let’s go inside” Ron says smiling widely as Hermione greets Pansy and Blaise “Everyone is here”

Draco’s heart beats. Everyone.

He nods his head, a tiny smile curving up his lips “You know the picture Harry send me of James in that bunny romper?” Hermione says as they all walk together to the living room.

“Yeah?”

“We got it framed, it’s hanging down at the entrance wall of Grimmauld place” Hermione grins at him and Draco manages to smile back.

_Grimmauld place._

The place which holds every bits of his memories, his life. His everything.

He’s pushed out of his thoughts when a loud laughter of Ms. Weasley fills the air “Oh dear! Draco darling!” the old women says, making her way through the sofa her arms coming out to warp around the blonde.

“Hello Molly” Draco says smiling hugging her back. She gasps loudly when her eyes fall on Hermione who was holding his son.

“Oh dear” her voice is soft, eyes sparkling with tears “Oh, my” she sniffs “Hello, sweetheart” Molly says holding her hands up “You got Harry’s eyes other than that you are all Draco”

Draco watches, a strange ach making up to his heart as James leans forward and falling into Molly’s motherly embrace reminding him if his mother was still alive would she be as happy?

“Draco! Mate!” he turns his head to see George Weasley making his way. He smiles opening his arms again, for the warm welcome of the Weasley family.

“Ma-ama! Ma!” James’s frustrated voice reaches his ears and he turns from Fleur to see his baby being held my Ron with all the Weasley brothers surrounding him besides Charlie who wasn’t here much to Draco’s relief.

Draco laughs slightly and walks forward “You are scaring him” he says as James jumps into his arms and hiding himself immediately.

“Draco”

He freezes, Draco could feel his heart racing behind his ribs. The voice, he’s been avoiding for so long is now coming from behind him. No. No he can’t be here… he just can’t.

“You aren’t even going to say hi after so long?”

Draco could feel all the eyes on him, he gathers his courage in the center of his heart and slowly turns around to see that man he never wanted to see again.

“Hello, Charlie” he says in a cool voice as James cuddles into him more, titling his head slightly for a peek.

 He could feel his heart pound, Charlie looks different. His now short hair we long enough to be tied in a ponytail. Draco’s eyes fell on a long scare which was on the right side of his face staring from his forehead, flowing down to cut his eyebrow and ending just beneath his bottom eye lid. That wasn’t there the last he saw him. The man wore black robes, which hugged his build body perfect as he calmly stood in front of the blonde with a smirk.

“Won’t you even hug me?” Charlie asked stepping forward and Draco felt his voice trapped in his throat. Too shocked to even react, he watches with slightly wide eyes as Charlie’s arms come around him and embrace him tightly in his arms. An odd warmth enters his body, his heart skips a beat and Draco blinks at the wall in front of him. James wiggles in his arms but the older Weasley doesn’t pull way and Draco doesn’t push away.

“Draco!”

He jolts, placing a hand on Charlie’s chest and pushing the man away from him. His heart is beating faster than before as he turns his head to the entrance of the room to see Harry Potter standing with his head bandaged.

“Da! Dwddy!” James’s joyful voice echoes around him as he stares into Harry’s stiff and blank expression. James’s practically jumping in his arms as Harry walks forward and grabs him kissing the baby’s forehead. He then turns his head to look at the red-head man standing in front of them “Charlie.” the words come out as stones, his green eyes gazing glares at the man as Harry brings his right hand forward and holding James with his left one.

Charlie looks down at the hand he grabs it with his own “Harry.” and Draco swears he could see them squeezing the life out of their hands, he could almost feel the pain.

“Draco! Mate, I didn’t know you were also coming” He looks away, his head following another familiar voice. His grey eyes widen catching his new friend Neville standing beside with the only person he loathes the most in his universe; Ginny Weasley at the entrance of the living room.

To say that it was awkward sitting at the dinner table with your husband who is as good as your ex, also on your other side sits a man who you kissed, er, made-out with after giving birth to your baby as the said husband’s multiple night stand women sits in front of you with your new healer friend who are now looking like a couple- is an understatement.

Draco’s eyes lock with Pansy and Blaise sending them a ‘help me’ stare as they both look back at him with sympathy. Dammit! He had originally planned to sit beside them, but as soon as he grabbed an empty chair Harry and Charlie quickly grabbed the empty seats beside him.

Ron clears his throat awkwardly “So… brother, where did you get the wicked scar from?” trying to start a conversation in the heavy atmosphere.  

There was a pause in the air “A wild dragon” Charlie says smirking. Draco chokes on nothing, Pansy gasps louder than Hermione, the rest blink with wide eyes, Harry growls and Jamie laughs randomly.

“What the fuck does that m-

“Lovely dinner Molly!! I missed your cooking dearly” Draco says quickly, cutting Harry off “There’s a baby in your lap Potter, mind your language” he hisses at the man next to him, Harry opens his mouth “Don’t.” Draco orders turning his head away.

“Oh, thank you dear” Molly beams at him. Draco cut a small piece of meat ball and popped it in James’s mouth “You need to give me the recipe of this meatball, James’s been only chewing on them” he says smiling. To his relief, Hermione joins the conversation and slowly they all fall into talking, engaging themselves in separate conversations.

 “Does your wound still hurt Harry?”

Draco stiffens at that familiar annoying feminine voice. He pokes his fork through the salad on his plate, even though his stomach is filled and bites on the latus.

“Ah, no it’s fine” Harry says awkwardly.

“Are you sure? I can look at it again”

_Again._

Draco feels his blood boil as he grips on the fork, he looks up to see Ginny staring at Harry with obvious concern marrying her face.

_No Draco. Don’t let them get to you again._

He takes in a deep breathe _Remember, Potter means nothing to you anymore._ Harry glances at him, his eyes swirling with panic “N-No, it’s okay, I-I am fine-

“Why not Potter?” Draco cuts him off with his own sharp icy voice dripping only with hatred “Go for it. No need to be shy about it, you two have done much _more_ things than that, afterall” he says pointing his fork at him and then swinging over to the scarlet hair girl. A pit of silence falls on the table, Neville stares at him face crumbled with confusion “What are you trying to say Malfoy?” Ginny says, eyes narrowed. Draco smirk, leaning back on the chair he crosses his arms over his chest “oh, you know _exactly_ what I mean, but if you have forgotten I can help you remember” he speaks.

They glare at one another “Draco, what are you saying?” Neville asks breaking the silence. The blonde chuckles “You should ask your girlfriend, I am _sure_ she has more juicy and detailed ways to explain. Better than I can of course” It’s almost satisfying to see the way her face loses all the colors but that’s nowhere near what Draco felt that day when he caught her with his husband on his sofa.

“Shut up Mal-

“She’s not my girlfriend”

Everyone stares at Neville with wide eyes, Ginny stares at him, mouth open and face screaming with hurt “Not yet, she isn’t” he adds eyeing everyone then his gaze stopping at Draco. The puzzled expression now replaced with a much serious face, giving an impression that he knows something is wrong. He eyes Draco, giving him the look that they need to talk. _Soon_. Though the blonde just shakes his head, grabbing his drink and taking a sip. Harry clears his throat awkwardly pushing James up his laps then shaking it making the baby jump. James giggled and clapping his hands “Wa!” his hitch pitched voice escaped his lips.

“S-So… How’s the shop going George” He says, clearly trying to change the topic. Draco’s eyes fall on Pansy, who’s grinning at him widely as she gives him a thumbs up and then blowing a kiss at him. He glances at Blaise who’s shaking his head at him with a grin marrying his lips as well mouthing him a small ‘I love you’. Draco’s lips lift up in a smiles as well, warmth taking over his heart, regardless of what he does they’ll always be by his side.

“Draco” Charlie whispers to him, making him look away from his two best friends “can we please talk after dinner? Privately”

The blonde chews on his lower lip, he feels Harry’s stare at him from the side. He blinks at the man then dragging his eyes to Pansy and Blaise who ever staring at him from the other side “I-I don’t-” Charlie garbs his hand “Please” he says and Draco dumbly nods his head “Yeah, okay” he says. Harry grabs his hand, squeezing it and Draco snaps it away sharply.

“Don’t touch me” he glares into those green eyes as Harry’s jaw clenches tightly “Never touch me again” he grits out. Harry stares at him with blank eyes then eyeing travelling to his and Charlie’s hand “Sorry…” he mutters softly looking away, face leaning down to kiss the top of James’s head. As he was about to look away, his grey eyes catches Harry’s fingers twirling the sliver ring around his finger, under the table. He looks up at the man, who has his face pressed against the back of James’s head with his eyes closed. Draco swallows, he pushes his hand away from Charlie’s, heart breaking and the urge to twirl his own golden ring which was looped in the chin around his neck was strong. He drags his eyes away from his husband and stares at the empty plate in front of him.

 _No right._ Harry has _no right_ to look so hurt, like he’s going to cry. No _fucking_ right.  

“Pansy I just love your beauty salon so much” He hears Hermione’s voice coming to his ears, so low that it sounds like she’s speaking from the back of the room. He travel his eyes back to Harry who still has his head rested against James.

The baby turns around “Dwddy?” James says softly, patting Harry’s cheek with his chubby hands.

“Yes baby?” Draco’s heart gets heavier at Harry’s deep raspy voice. He watches as the man turns his head slightly and kisses James’s little fingers.

“Ouchie?” James titles his head, patting his daddy’s face again softly. Harry chuckles, he nods his head leaning forward to kiss the baby’s forehead “Something like that” he says resting their foreheads together. James leans forward and flops a giant kiss on Harry’s chin “Ouchie?” he asks and Harry laughs lightly “Hmm, I think one more kiss will heal daddy” he say faking a sniff and placing his hand on the heart. James giggles, swinging forward to flop another big kiss, his mouth landing on Harry’s lips now. Draco smiles when Harry laughs, wrapping his arms around the tiny baby and squeezing him in a tight hug. Suddenly, those eyes look up and meet his. Grey staring into green and he watches as Harry’s frozen grin curves down to a small smile. Draco blinks, he slowly looks away his eyes catching Ginny’s from across the table. He quickly looks away, not wanting to create a seen again “Let’s all go to the living room” Ron’s loud voice says. He sees Charlie watching him and Draco gulps nervously then his angle in glowing light, send down by the heavens comes in a form of Neville Longbottom who literally pulls the blonde by his arm dragging him by his side.

“We need to talk” he whispers in Draco’s ear as they walk behind the others. He sees the Weaslette turning her head back to look at them, a small fire burns in his chest when she steps to walk beside Harry who was also looking back at him.   

Draco turns his head away from them “About?” he asks staring at those dark brown eyes of Neville.

“What was that thing you said about Ginny and Harry?” He says, as they walk towards a two face sofa and flopping down on it together. Draco couldn’t help it, his eyes follow up to his husband who was now seated beside the red-hair women on a two face sofa as well.

“Draco?”

“Ah- Sorry, I think… instead of asking me you should ask her yourself, Nev” Draco says swinging his head back towards his friends. The man frowns at him, then a sigh leaves his lips “You know… I always have this feeling that she isn’t into me” Neville says glancing up at Ginny “I mean, we are together… kind of but I feel like she doesn’t love me” Draco’s eyes follow the way Neville chuckles lightly as a sad smile slips on his lips “Like her heart already belongs to someone else” he says, his eyes falling back on Draco “That’s why I never properly asked her out. Originally, it all started with a one night stand and then that one night stand turning into many nights”

Draco chuckles lightly “Yeah, that’s her way off manipulating people into her trap” he says lightly, almost under his breathe.

“What?” Neville asks titling his head and Draco shakes his head “Nothing” he says “If you are so insecure about her, why don’t you talk to her. Maybe she feels the same way? I think you two need to talk and figure it out yourselves” He hates Ginny Weasley and that’s common knowledge but he likes Neville so even if his friend is in an off and on relationship with the one person he would never help he chooses to give the right advice to Neville because they are friends.

Neville is staring at Ginny again “They have some kind of past don’t they?” he whispers to Draco and the blonde doesn’t need to look to know who Neville is talking about.

“Something so terrible that it broke you and Harry apart, right?”

Draco bites his lower lip, choosing not to answer “I always wondered why Harry wore that ring on his finger” Neville says, his eyes starting at Draco’s bowed head “I wonder if it has to do with you”

“Do you see a ring on my finger?” Draco asks looking up at the man.

“No” Neville shakes his head “But I do see a baby in Harry’s laps”

They stay quiet for a minute, as voices of other people buzz around their ears “I am not blind you know” Neville says “I’ve seen how Harry looks at you and how you look at him”

Draco blinks rapidly “What in the world are you talking about?” His brain hadn’t even thought of the words and they were already flying out his mouth. Neville shakes head, a small smile playing on his lips “I am saying that… it’s the same way how Ginny looks at Harry instead of me. I knew that she had a huge crush on him Hogwarts but… I thought, I had hoped that she was over him but I guess I am a fool”

Draco swallows, looking down at his laps “Don’t worry” he whispers, then looks back at his friend with a sad smile “I am a fool too…” he trails off. They stare at one another and burst into loud laughter making everyone turn their heads.

“What’s so funny?” George asks, crossing his legs on the sofa leaning forward towards them as they all stare at them. Neville grins at Draco “Nothing” he laughs “we just figured out how big of a fools we are”

Ron huffs “Seriously? You could have asked me Draco, I would’ve love to give hundreds of reasons out of a thousand” A laughter falls on them and the blonde rolls his eyes at the youngest Weasley boy “Ha. Ha. Very funny Ronald, but it wouldn’t help asking a fool himself”

The laughter gets louder and Hermione breaks her voice “Oh you too” she says slapping Ron’s back. Draco smiles, his eyes automatically turn towards Harry who was sitting way too close to Weaslette for his own liking. He scowls lightly and drags his eyes away from the man, his eyes falling on Charlie’s who were already staring at him.

 _Just get this over with_ He tells himself with an inner sigh. Draco titles his head and aims it outside, a smile falls on Charlie’s face “I’ll be back soon” he whispers to Neville before standing up and walking out to the balcony with the older Weasley failing to catch Harry’s strong gaze following them. The balcony was joined with the living and Charlie slides the glass door shut, for privacy.

*

The cold breeze greets him immediately and Draco wonders if snow will fall tonight. Taking his wand out he casts a warming charm on himself and turns his head to look at the older Weasley.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” Draco says talking a step back, putting a respectable distance between them and placing his hands in his skinny jeans pocket.

“Why haven’t you been answering my letter?” Charlie asks crossing his arms over his robes. Draco resist the urge to roll his eyes “I didn’t see any emergency red seal on them, they didn’t seem important enough too” he says the cold wind blowing through them.

“What-? Draco, I-

“What do you want Charlie?” he asks staring into those dark ocean blue eyes. Charlie was a very handsome man, very attractive and a gentleman but if Draco’s heart couldn’t fall in love with him what could he do about it?”

He watches as the man brings his arms up and puts his hands on Draco’s shoulders “I want you” he shouts loudly squeezing his black silk collar shirt. Draco feels a wave of a familiar magic crossing the shut glass door, _Harry_. He turns his head to look but Charlie cups his face and forces him to look straight “Forget about him, why can’t you give me a chance Draco? I promise to keep you happy”

_Promise._

He almost chuckles, Draco brings his hands up and places them on top of Charlies “I am sorry Charlie” he says pulling those large hands down from his face “You are a great person… but I am just not the one for you” he says squeezing Charlie’s hands in his, giving the man a small smile.

“But Harry is?” Draco blinks at his rough and tight tone “No, I never said tha-

“Don’t bullshit with me Draco, I have eyes too” Charlie says pulling his hands away to hold Draco’s shoulders again.

“HE cheated on WITH my sister!! He fucked her behind your back” Draco felt his heart drop to his stomach, his eyes getting bigger “He didn’t even give a fuck if you were his husband! You caught him fucking her on in your god damn house! On your sofa! Yet you still let this man come back in your life!!” Charlie shouts. Draco’s breathe inched, a familiar wave of anger making up his system. He shrugs his shoulders off, looking up at Charlie with such a fierce look on his face, on so enraged that freezes the other man on the ground.

“I fucking know!” he shouts back, brows crossed.

“Then why the fuck do you let him back in!” Charlie’s voice is louder, Draco thinks if they had neighbours it would probably cross their house as well “Do you enjoy hurting yourself! HE doesn’t deserve you! Or your baby, weren’t you the one who said that he told you he doesn’t want a child! That’s why you ran away, in the first place right!? Because you didn’t want Harry to find out about James so why is _your_ baby, sitting on his lap WHEN I was the one who helped you through your pregnancy!!”

Draco thinks he’s going to explode, wondering what the fuck had he been thinking on agreeing the whole idea of this Christmas dinner.

“Because I don’t love you! I can never love you.” He says voice cold, small enough to be heard only by Charlie “I appreciate all that you have done for me and I am very grateful but now, don’t come near me again” he says sliding the door open, leaving the frozen man behind and walking into the living room to see everyone standing up, looking at him with wide shocked eyes, though his eyes only searched for his baby. He feels the blood rushing towards his brain when he catches fucking Ginny holding his baby, raged with anger he growls walking forward and snatches James away from Ginny’s grip “How dare you” he yells holding James in his arms, startling the people around him but he doesn’t care, he’s never felt so anger before “How fucking dare you!!”

“D-Draco, a-are you okay?” He looks to his side Harry standing in front of him and looking at him with big round eyes.

“Are you okay?” His voice is dangerously low “You have the balls to even ask me that!” he shouts. “You fucking cheat on me with this women, tell me you don’t want a child anymore because of her and now you have the nerves to sit together with her with her holding _my_ child!!” He snarls, a dangerous tone he didn’t know he had in him as it leaks out of his voice. Many gaps fills the air, he can feel Blaise’s hand on his shoulder but he roughly pushes it off. His magic is leaking out of his body and James shakes in his arms a helpless cry leaving his throat.

“Stop, you are scaring him!!” Ginny says reaching her hand out. Draco quickly takes his wand out and points it at her “Don’t you fucking dare touch my child again” he warns with enough threat luring around his voice that she takes a steps back.

James’s cries get louder, moving around as the blonde grips on him tighter. He can feel all of their eyes of him, but he doesn’t care. Pansy steps forward “Don’t.” he says looking at her, ready to walk away.

Harry opens his mouth “Draco-

“Don’t fucking call me that!!” he shouts, he can feel the wide eyes of Hermione, Ron, Neville, Pansy Blaise and others staring at him. He glares with all of his anger, words can’t even describe how furious he’s right now, it’s like a volcano has erupted in him passing all the nerves, all the veins in his body entering his brain.

“I am filling a divorce!” He declares voice dripping with coldness, face harden and everyone around him gasp loudly. Harry’s eyes widen, his face losing all the colors “C-Calm down Draco-

“SHUT UP!” He shouts so loud, that his own voice scratches the back of his throat. Ignoring James’s cries, he brings his hand up and rips the necklace off his neck. The chain rubs against his throat, creating angry red lines across “Here.” he throws the golden ring, at a very stunned Harry “I am fucking done with you! I hope you two live a happy life together.” the only sound in that silence room was the drop of the ring. He’s so mad that he can feel a familiar burn behind his eyes.

He tucks his wand into his pocket and turns on his heels, only to be stopped by a hand around his wrist. That single touch was enough to send electrifying shocks down his body, he turns around and jerks his wrist away but he doesn’t stop there, he places his hand on Harry’s chest and pushes the man back.

“Don’t touch me!” he grits down, James turning his tiny arms flying towards Harry but Draco places his arm around his tiny body and turns them around one more time. Harry launches himself forward and embrace the blonde from behind, refusing to let him leave so easily. Draco struggles in his hold, but Harry’s arm only get tighter around him. The scene is gathering more attention he can hear Hermione and Pansy’s voice from behind telling Harry to let him go but the man doesn’t.

Draco groans moving his arms violently, trying to escape, perfectly unware of tears gathering at the corner of his shut eyes “Let me go!!” he yells voice raspy and Harry’s heart breaks when Draco lets out a defeated choke, those thick tears finally sliding down his pretty face. He’s only seen his husband cry once and that was in the girl’s prefect bathroom in sixth year. He curses himself, for breaking the promise of never making Draco cry again. Draco grits his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut tightly in hope to stop the tears but that just makes them shed more.

“I won’t let go until you clam down!”

“Haven’t you done enough!?” he screams at Harry’s face as his voice cracks “You fucking _bastard_!” Gathering his strength together he grabs Harry’s hand on his waist and forces his already lose fingers open.

“I shouldn’t have come!” he cries pushing Harry’s hands off him and escaping from his grip “I should have never come back!” Draco says narrows his eyes with his brows crossed as thick tears slipped down his chin, his voice barely coming out as a whisper almost trapping itself in the heavy pain of his throat.

“D-Draco, darling” he hears Pansy’s weak voice from his side.

“I am done! I am done with you trying to ruin my life!” Draco’s voice wails as he holds James with his arms, the baby looks at him with wide wet eyes for a second just staring and when another tear drops from Draco’s eyes James’s also burst into tears screaming ‘mowwy, mowwy’. Harry looks at him with a crushed expression and despite Draco’s wet eyes he has a strange urge to laugh. He’s the one who’s suffering through all of the pain so how dare Harry look more damage than him?

No. He has _no_ right to make such expression.

Not after he ruined everything they once had.

Harry reaches out to him, but Draco slaps his hand away with force “Please.” he whispers as more tears slip down his cheeks, slapping his hands together he speaks “I am fucking _begging_ you” he shuts his eyes tightly and more tears fall down “Stay **away** from me and my baby” he brings his joined hands to his forehead and sobs out more tears as his shoulders jump with every strong hicks coming from the middle of his chest. This time when Draco turns away, no one stops him and he walks out of the Hermione’s house apparating away to his apartment with James still crying in his arms.

*

He apparated to his room “AHHH!” Draco screams loudly, startling little James’s in his arms. He swings his wand, putting up his wards for everyone locking him and his baby in the house. James’s violent cries make him look down and Draco hooks his finger in the red tie dragging it down. He collapses on the ground, knees hitting the floor as he bends down his hand holding James’s head.

“H-Hus-sh litt-tle b-b-a” he breaks into more tears, holding James’s close to his chest as he sobs his heart out “d-don’t c-ry, I-I know-w Da-ddy’s n-ot-” he takes in a deep breath, James’s isn’t crying as hard as before and he looks down to see the baby blinking his red watery eyes at him “E-Everyt-thing will be-e al-lright” he trails off completely forgetting the lyrics so he just hums the tune picking himself up and heading towards the kitchen to make a bottle of milk.

**December 26 th, Wednesday, 2003**

Draco groans as the morning ray hits him through the windows and he curls himself in his thick blankets, feeling so embarrassed that he wants to die. What the hell was he thinking!? He can’t even blame last night on damn alcohol since he didn’t have any! Bloody hell. He reaches his hand up to twirl with his ring, only to realise that it wasn’t there. For a second he almost panicked, then the memories of him throwing the ring across the room from last night flashes before his eyes and Draco buries his face in the pillow groaning with embarrassment.

_I am filling a divorce_

Dammit, why did he say that? He was so angry that he just said the words, well in the moment he did mean them but now that his mind has cooled down, he thinks he might have over-reacting … just a tiny bit.

 _No you didn’t!_ A side of his brain tells him _that bastard deserve it! Divorce him and marry Charlie!_

 _Are you crazy!? Don’t marry Charlie! Don’t marry anyone, for God sakes, let your poor heart breathe!!_ His other side argues and before his brain could get a chance to start argue with himself little James starches like a cat on and blinks his eyes open.

His expression softens “Morning baby” Draco says leaning down and kissing the flat of baby’s forehead “Did you have a nice sleep?” he asks putting an arm under James’s head and bringing the baby closer to him.

“Ewa” James giggles cuddling in as Draco plants another kiss “Mommy is sorry for last night, darling” he says nuzzling his nose into James’s hair. He lays there, for some time, kissing and whispering words to James as the baby tries his best to talk back.

“I love you” Draco says

“I la yoooo” James replies

“I love you”

“I la yooooo”

“I love you”

“I la yooooo”

The blonde smiles and kisses his baby’s cheek again. Shuffling out of his blankets, Draco scoops James’s in his arms and heads towards the washroom.

He flipped the pancake on the pan when his floo roared and a loud angry voice of Pansy Parkinson rang through his ears “Draco Malfoy!!! Don’t you fucking dare leav- Oh… he’s still here Blaise”

“Passy!!” James squeals loudly and Draco turns around to see his two best friends staring at him from the kitchen door.

“A lovely surprise, though I was accepting you two to come sooner” He says arching his brown and turning around to flip the pancake again “would you like some breakfast?”

When he hears no response, he turns his head back again to see their mouths drop as they gap at him “What?” Draco asks arching both of his brows.

“You aren’t leaving?” Pansy asks blinking rapidly

“Why would I leave? And to where exactly?” He says giving them a flat look. Blaise open and closes his mouth then opens again “Well… we thought, after last night you would’ve already packaged and ready to leave England for good” he says and Draco shakes his head turning back to his pancake “No, I am not leaving” he says “Pans would you be a doll and make some apple cereal for Jamie please? Use the blue plastic bowl on the dishes stand and fill it up quarterly with cereal and the rest with warm milk” he says pointing his spatula at the dishwasher. She dumbly nods at him as Blaise takes James’s out his baby chair and grabs a seat putting the baby onto the table in front of him then tickling his chin making little James laugh.

“Are you-” Pansy hesitates “Are you okay darling?” she finally asks giving him a concern look. He nods his head, missing the feeling of his chain around his neck “Yeah, the court will be close for the Christmas breaks right?” he asks without looking at them. A very heavy silence falls in the air, enough to make him suffocate “Draco…” Blaise starts “Are you… are you sure?” he asks nervously. Draco flips the pancake on the plate and turns to make more material “About?” he asks, pretending he doesn’t know.

“About the divorce” Pansy says mixing the cereal together.

“Yes.”

He hears a sigh from both of his friends, from his side view he sees Pansy walking away with a shake of her head holding the bowl of cereal in her hands.

“I think Harry cried after you left”

Draco’s body freezes, he blinks looking at the spoon in his hand “W-What?” his voice was small, it hurt his throat when it came out and he didn’t turn around.

“Harry, he most likely cried after you left” Blaise repeats Pansy’s words. Draco swallows a huge lump in his throat “Most likely? What-what do you mean?” his voice shakes and he takes in a deep breathe.

“We left right after you did, we wanted to come over but you have your wards up. Neville left after us, I think… he did look very furious. Weaslette and him had a heated fight right after you left”

Draco grabs a glass and opens the tap water filling it with cold water. He gulps it down quickly “Ma! Ma! Wabbull!” James’s voice calls him and Draco fills up at the glass again turning around to walk towards the table. Pansy and Blaise watch him closely as he cups his hand under James’s chin and pushes the glass towards his lips.

“Sit down Draco, I’ll make the pancakes” Pansy says standing up and Draco comes to take her seat beside Blaise as James chucks down the water.

“When you left, Harry looked as broken as you. Ron took him away and he hid his face in his neck” Draco feels his heart hammering in his chest “He was holding your ring the whole time”

“Why are you telling me this?” Draco finally says, pulling the water away. He pulls James in his laps and hears a sigh from Blaise “Draco, mate listen, what do you want?” he asks staring into those grey eyes.

What does he want? Nothing. He has everything. Money, an excellent job, friends who love him and his baby. What else can God bless him with? He has everything, everything… yet his heart still _so_ feels empty. Like something is missing. The chain around his neck, which held the symbol of his marriage was missing. Harry’s laugh was in this empty house was missing. His company, his shadow was missing. His rival, his first love, his best friend, his partner and his husband was missing. So what does he want?

“I-I don’t know” he whispers out, he drops the spoon in the cereal bowl and cups his face “I don’t know!”

He hears a click ‘sound’ from the oven, right when Blaise’s arms come around him and soon Pansy hugs him from the behind her arms coming around his neck.

Draco takes in a shaky breathe “I don’t _want_ to forgive him, but…” he says, throat aching badly “I don’t _know_ to forget him… I don’t _know_ how to live without him. Not living with him-” his voice breaks out and his lips turn upside down in a deep sad frown as he places a hand over his heart “is diffiuclt”

“Draco…” Pansy whispers “We understand you, we get you but honey Jamie is about to cry in three seconds”

Draco shots his head up, the baby’s eyes looking as watery as his own.

“One”

“N-No James, no”

James’s lower lip trembles violently as he sniffs heavily--

“Look! I am okay, ha ha ha!”

“Two!”

His eyes looked so watery that the green in them was blended in with his unshed tears.

“Wait-WAIT!”

“Three!!”

His tiny mouth opens widely and tears start to roll down in a loud cry of “Waaaa!”

Blaise slams his hands to his ears “Oh bother” the blonde says sighing, he stands up and grabs James in his arms “Shhh!” he whispers softly bouncing the baby in his arms as he paces around the kitchen.

“Hush little baby, don’t you cry” Draco sings lightly “Everything is going to be alright”

James’s cries turn into sobs, and the blonde continues in a soft singing voice taking the song in his own tone “Stiffen that upper lip up little baby, I told you, Mommy's here to hold you through the night” he sings patting his baby’s back, curled up on his chest his little arms hugging around his neck “I know daddy's not here right now and we don't know why, we fear how we feel inside and it may seem a little crazy, pretty baby, but I promise Daddy's doing alright” He looks down at James who has a smile playing on his lips as he drags his hand up to suck on his thumb.

When he looks back at Pansy and Blaise, they are starting at him with a new light in their eyes “W-What?” Draco asks defensively.

“You sing?” Blaise asked, eyes wide and the blonde nods his head.

“Since when?” Pansy asked blinking rapidly.

Draco rolls his eyes “Since James” he says heading towards the table “My pancakes are all cold now, thanks Jamie” a pout makes his lips and the baby giggles in arms.  

“Don’t you think you are off the hook Draco Malfoy!” Pansy says crossing her arms under her chest “We’ll finish our conversation when Jamie is taking his nap” Draco nods his head as he pops a bite in his mouth, then pulling James’s un finished cereal in front of him to feed his baby.

It’s around 4:00 in the evening when a loud yawn escapes James’s lips and Draco grabs him from the living room to take him to his bed room “I’ll be back in 10 minutes” he says walking up the stairs. Once entering the room, he turns off all the nights, covers the windows with the large heavy curtains and starts to paces around the room, singing softly while patting James’s back lightly as the baby rests his chubby cheeks on his shoulder. Eyes closed, the baby hums along sleepy his voice coming out rough and heavy. Exactly in less than 10 minutes, James’s asleep in his arms and Draco gently lays him down on the bed casting a protecting charm around the bed.

“I love you” he whispers lightly then kissing his baby’s forehead gently before covering him with blankets.  

Stepping into the living room again, he catches Pansy washing the dishes with Blaise’s arms around her waist holding her from the back as he kisses her softly. His heart painfully throbs as memories of Harry hugging him just like that comes rushing back to him with his whispers of love and promises ringing in his ears. He swallows a sudden lump and clears his throat loudly to get their attention.

“Oh, that was quick!” Pansy says turning the water off, smiling at him. Draco forces a smile on his face, walking towards the fridge “Yeah, guess he was tired” he says opening the grey door and taking out a bottle of butterbeer.

“Uh! Yes mate” Blaise groans happily, opening the cupboard to grab three glasses and the three of them head back to the living room.

Draco fills there glasses with the beer and closes the bottle tightly before putting it away under the table.

“Well” Pansy says looking at him “have you thought of something?” she asks and Draco leans back into the sofa, sighing loudly.

He shakes his head “No. I don’t know” he says looking at her.

She doesn’t frown at him, instead she curls around him and pats his stomach lightly “It’s okay Draco, it’s okay” Pansy says softly “What is it that you don’t know?” she asked. He rests his head on top of hers “I don’t know what I want” Draco whispers softly “I hate what he did to me and I just don’t want to think about him. I wish I could just erase him from my mind, I feel so … this bubble of anger and disgust every time I see him.” They listen to him quietly Blaise is also now leaning his shoulder against Draco’s “I want to divorce him, I really do but… I don’t either… does that make sense?”

“Yeah…” Blaise says softly “It makes perfect sense”

“I don’t want Charlie either, he’s a nice bloke. He’s perfect but… my heart isn’t or rather doesn’t want him” Draco says quietly.

“Why?” Pansy asks hugging his arm, as the three of them stare straight into the telly in front of them.

“I don’t know” Draco says “I think it’s because I have been with… Potter… for so long, I just end up comparing everyone to him. I know it’s not a healthy thing to do but, I don’t know, my heart just loses interest in people if they aren’t like Potter”

Pansy hums “That’s understandable” she says “But there’s only one Potter beside your son, you know”

Draco looks down at his lap “I know…” he whispers, then he looks up at the ceiling an painful chuckle escaping his throat “even if I am angry at him, his absences test me. Everything I do, I see, it reminds me of him, even if he has caused me pain… I just- feel _so_ fucking empty without him” Pansy rubs his shoulder gently “I really don’t know how to live without him…” Draco trails off softly.

“I think” Blaise says, he grabs Draco’s hand and locks their fingers together “That you two need to talk”

Draco turns his head to look at his friend “There’s nothing left to talk” he says furrowing his brows. Blaise smiles and shakes his “Oh, there’s so much to talk. You are hurt, you clearly hold a grudge against him and you can’t forgive him till it’s all out of your system”

Draco blinks “I don’t want to talk to him” he says dragging his bottom lip in between his teeth.

“No one is telling you to go now” Pansy says kissing his arm “Take your time darling and talk when you are ready”

He sighs, nods his head and leans forward to grab his drink.

**December 26 th, Friday, 2003**

It’s late, around 11:00 with James long asleep when Draco was in his living sipping on his butterbeer and the floo suddenly woke up with red fire.

“Draco, are you there?”

He blinks “Yeah, you can come through” he says taking another sip as the green flames appear before his eyes and Neville stands in front of him.

“Drinking by yourself?” the man fakes a gasp “How selfish of you” Draco smirks and toast his drink forward “It’s one of my gifts, didn’t you know?” he says. Neville laughs, coming to sit beside him “Oh, I knew alright. You are such a bastard” Draco smile standing up and heading towards the kitchen to grab a glass and coming back to flop on the sofa.

“So what brings you here so late?” the blonde asks, handing the glass to his healer friends. Neville sighs, he grabs the glass and pours some butterbeer for himself “Where should I start from?” he asks and Draco chuckles “The beginning” he says smiling.

“Good idea” Neville says grinning “Well, for starts, I want to apologize” he says looking at Draco. The blonde blinks at him “For what?” he asks titling his head “For, I don’t know, everything? For what happened to you, for knowing that there was some kind of past between you and Harry but never asking about it. For being a terrible friends, an arsehole” Neville says shrugging his shoulders. Draco’s mouth twisted, he turned to give the man a half-smile “You are really kind heater, did anyone tell you that before stupid Gryffindor?” The other laughs at him lightly and nods his head “Yeah, many times” he says and Draco hums sipping on his drink.

“You don’t have to apologize” Draco speaks after a couple of seconds later “I didn’t bother telling you either, so we are even”

Neville smiles at him, a genuine smile “Are you seriously filing a divorce against Harry?” he asked, his facing turning serious in split of a second.

Draco clenched his jaw, turning his head back to his drink “I meant those words when I said them” he says glaring into his drink “but, I am not so sure anymore”

Neville hums at him, leaning back in the sofa “I wouldn’t be surprise” he says.

“What do you mean?” Draco asks glancing at the man titling his head as his platinum hair fall on his grey eyes.

Neville smiles looking at the ceiling, then he turns his head to look at Draco and speaks “A love like you two, is meant to last forever”

Those words sink in his brain, slowly and Draco’s eyes widen slightly “A love… like ours?” he whispers softly and Neville nods his head “It’s ironic isn’t it?” he says grabbing his drink and sipping on it “That you two meet at age of eleven and according to Harry you were the first wizard he spoke with after Hagrid. Then comes along your, might I add the words ‘very unhealthy’ rivalry” Draco blinks “You two competing one another over almost anything. Then he saves your life, you save his life and during all of that somewhere along the line your haters develops into love” He watches as Neville chuckles shaking his head in amusement “You two go from, not been able to stand each other to a married couple. Seriously, bloody hell, I didn’t see that one coming” Draco chuckles, dropping his head down, not sure when exactly his eyes started to burn “Ginny told me everything”

“And? What are you trying to say?” Draco says arching his brow, voice broken and tired… just so _tired_ “What do you want?”

Neville stares at him “I am saying that, before making you make your final decision, you should talk to Harry” he whispers bringing his hand forward to wipe those crystal tears away. “It hurts to see you two like this” He says pulling the blonde in a hug.

**January 2 nd, Friday, 2004**

His door burst opens “Healer Malfoy” John says walking into his office. Draco turns away from his file and look up at him “How can I help you?” he says titling his head.

“There was an emergency call! You need to get home right now!”

The blonde frowns, standing up quickly a twirl of an ugly feeling curling his stomach together “Who was it? What happened” he asked trying to calm himself down.

“It was your friend Pansy, she was crying, she said someone name James is missing!”

Draco feels his heart stop, without bothering to say a goodbye, he runs towards the floo at the end of the hallway as he feels his soul leaving his body.

“Zabini Manor!” he screams and in a blink he’s standing in the middle of living room.

“Draco!” Pansy shouts, her eyes swollen with red with tears as she jumps off the sofa. Draco roams his eyes around the room, finding Hermione Granger standing beside Pansy but no sign of James.

“W-Where is he?” his voice is low panic overcoming every nerve of his body, his legs feeling weak as his fingertips turn cold.

“Hermione and I decided to muggle London for movies so I took James with me. But Hermione had brought Ginny with her, Draco I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry, I only handed James to her to go to the washroom with Hermione after the movies and when we came out she was gone with him” She explains. Draco sees red, the blood rushes to his ears, heart pounding so loud that he thinks he’s going to faint “You gave her my child!!” he shouts “Are you fucking insane Pansy!!!” The two ladies jumps at his enraged voice “I-I am sorry” she whispers as more tears roll down her eyes. Draco groans, he grabs his hair and turns to punch the wall.

“Fuck” He punches the wall again.

“Fuck” and again.

“Fuck” and again.

He rants, tears rolling down his eyes “Draco, calm down!” Hermione says putting her hand on his shoulder.

“My child is MISSING! I can’t FUCKING calm down!” the desperate panic and the terrifying expression on his face makes Hermione squeeze his shoulders and before she could open her mouth the floo roars loudly and Harry Potter walks into the manor huffing heavily. Draco pushes Hermione out of the way and jumps on the man, pushing him back as he warps his arms around Harry’s neck.

“We need to find our son Harry” he cries, arms shaking violently “We need to find him!”

Harry blinks, for a second he doesn’t understand what’s happening all he sees is a blob of platinum hair and boom, he’s been pushed back with a tight embrace. He feels Draco shaking around him “Ginny Weasley took our son away” his heart throbs “we need to find him” Harry gulps, eyes watering and he brings his arms around Draco’s waist.

“Shh” he whispers softly nuzzling his nose to the side of Draco’s neck, feeling so happy that he thinks he's dreaming “We are going to find him, don’t you worry Draco. I’ll bring our son back”

A strength which had dies instead of him, lits again and Draco feels his knees coming back to life. Something which wasn’t accomplished by Hermione when she said the same words to him not to long ago. Harry cups his face and with his thumb he wipes the tears away “Ginny might be many things, but she can never kill” he says softly. Draco closes his eyes, he leans forward to rest their foreheads together “I’ll die, if anything happens to James” his voice is shaky and Harry’s grip becomes stronger around his waist “I told you. I won’t let anything happen to our son, I promise.”

Draco opens his eyes, his eyelashes wet with tears “You promise?” he whispers. Harry nods his head, he kisses his forehead gently as Draco closes his eyes “I promise.” He says and pulls his shorter husband in a tight suffocating embrace which the blonde returns as passionately.

The floo roars again “Harry!- Oh, I am sorry- wait never mind that, I think we found a way to track Ginny down!!” Ron’s loud voice say and Draco jumps away from his husband turning to look at the red head.

“Where!?” Harry asks quickly. Draco watches as Ron thrust his hand in his robe pockets “Our team was searching the area, Hermione told us about” he pulls out a small golden button and Draco gasps loudly “That’s James’s!” he says quickly walking forward to grab the button but Ron pulls his hand away.

“It’s not just a button, there’s a tracking charm cast on and it could only be activated by a certain word or someone’s magic she thought would be worthy for” Ron explains “She clearly didn’t want it to get under anyone’s hands, if was hidden beside the girls washroom in a small whole in the wall. Do you guys feel her magic coming from his button?” They all nod their head, Ron smirks “Other Aurors couldn’t feel it” he says.

“How do we activate this?” Draco asks, losing patience. Harry squeezes his hand lightly “Like this” Ron says pointing his wand at the button, he releases his magic into the item and a bright white light glows out of it.

_We are been followed by Corban Yaxley, I barely spotted him through a glassed door of the entrance of the girl’s washroom. I don’t know if he’s following Pansy, Hermione, me or James. Track me down alone, don’t come with a team or we’ll be risking James’s life. I’ll try to escape him through muggle London._

Ginny’s soft, low voice almost like whisper fills Draco’s ear and he squeezes Harry’s hand. A wave of guilt hits him, for assuming that Ginny had kidnap his son he turns to look at Harry who looks pale like a ghost “Corban Yaxley” he whisper, voice low “He’s alive?”

Hermione gives a breathless gasp “S-So that’s how Antoin Dolohov and Stan shunpike were able to escape Azkaban?” she whispers hands flying to her forehead as she pushes her hair back.

“I’ll go” Draco says suddenly making everyone turn their head “I’ll track Ginny down” he his voice is firmed and determined. Harry squeezes his hand “No! Draco no, I won’t let you. It’s too dangerous” he says shaking his head, eyes wide with horror. Draco would have like to say something like ‘I don’t give a fuck’ but the terror on Harry’s face which stops him “You heard her” he says instead “We need to keep a low profile. If you or Ron go, Corban will recognize you two immediately, even Hermione.” He could feel Harry’s hand turning cold “Draco’s right, mate, beside he might be on advantage being an ex-death eater and all” Ron says nodding his head.

“Yeah, Harry. It’s best if Draco goes after them, we can’t take the risk” Hermione adds, her voice shaky holding fear for Ginny and James.

Harry looks at them, he gulps then takes a deep breath and looks back at the blonde “I’m putting a tracking charm on you, we’ll be following you from behind. Keeping a sharp eye out for Corban” he says in his Auror voice and Draco nods his head at him.

“Ready?” Harry asked as Ron hands him the button.  
Draco nods his head “Yeah” he says and with a twirl of Harry’s wand over him Draco feels connected to his husband. He looks at Harry, who gives him a shaky smile. Draco breathes in, he closes his eyes and focuses his magic at the button in his hands. Suddenly, a wave of magic hits him and he feels the distance between him and Ginny. A breathe of relief escapes his lips at their magic connection “She’s alive, but she’s far from here” He says opening his eyes “She’s defiantly in Muggle London, I am going” Draco says “Here take this, I am already connected to her” he pushes the button in Ron’s hands before rushing towards the floo, he could feel Ginny’s magic taking a turn and coming towards him now.

“I can feel both of your magic” He hear Harry say as he grabs some powder “this is brilliant I know exactly how far Ginny is from Draco”

Draco was about to drop the powder when he hears the man call his name out “Draco!!” he freezes his hand from dropping the powder and looks up to see Harry’s worried green eyes “Be safe”- _come back to me again_ \- he whispers eyes only fixed on the blonde. Draco stares at him “I’ll bring our son back” he says staring into those green eyes “I promise.” And then he drops the powder on the ground only seeing the glimpse off those wide green round eyes, he adores so much.

Draco runs, muggles, everywhere and Ginny’s magic still feels so far away from where he is. He doesn’t even have muggle money to get a taxi or a buss, dammit! His lungs were puffing, even if Draco was breathing through his nose his throat was tight and he felt air getting trapped in his lungs. He knew he needs to stop running, to catch his breath but his legs kept on running with only one name screaming in his head.

_James, James, James, James_

He runs through people, on the main roads knowing that if he took any narrow ends chances on bumping into Corban might be higher. A slimy death eater, always kills in small areas, always hides in the dark and haunts their pray down till the end. He knew Ginny was smart, which is why she stay in the Muggle area, where the chances of Corban attacking her were less. He could feel her magic coming closer to her, his throat ached terribly and he had to stop. He needed to breathe. Bending down, Draco places his hands on his knees as he felt a trail off sweat roll down from his nose. Ginny was still pretty far away perhaps 150-180 meters away? As for Harry he was at an okay distance 50-70 meters away from him.

“Are you alright mate?”

Draco huffs out a sigh, he waves his hand in the air “Yeah, I am fine” he says lifting his head up “Thank you for ask-

His words get trapped in his throat, eyes widen as the man before him is none other than Corban Yaxley. Draco could hear his heart beat in his ears “Long time” he says coolly, standing up straight.

“Long time, indeed” The man says, a smirk marrying his face as he gives Draco a dark look. The blonde drags his hand down to his white coat, fingers touching his wand “I wouldn’t do that if I were you” Corban says voice so low and dangerous that it sends thrills down Draco’s spine “We are surrounded by muggles after all, I would hate to be send to Azkaban for killing you right here”

Draco feels his heart pound in his throat, he still grips on his wand “You would go to Azkaban either way, you aren’t supposed to alive” he says, inside his coat pocket Draco flicks his wand gently and cuts off his connection with Ginny.

“That’s where you come in Malfoy or should I says…” the man leans into his ear “Your son” he whispers voice leaking with enough threat that Draco takes a step back. He feels Harry’s magic coming closer to him in a rapid speed, he assumes the man probably figured out that something is wrong and was now running towards him “My son? What son?” he Draco says titling his head, happy that he chose to run on a main road side walk.

The man smirks “Let’s walk to that alley over there” he points at the black shadowed alley around the corner of the straight side walk “and I’ll tell you all about James Abraxas Malfoy-Potter” he hisses, Draco’s eyes catches Harry’s running form coming to a stop a street behind Corban. He glances back at the man “You will leave my son out of this” Draco says his voice strong and firmed “And only then I’ll follow you”

A wicked, almost evil smile curves up the death eater’s lips “It’s a deal” the man says in his cold voice and Draco has to resist the urge to gulp.

“Let’s go, shall we?” the blonde says turning on his heels. Corban’s arms come around his shoulder and Draco flinches away “I don’t want you running away Malfoy” the man says lips drawing in a snarl as he lets out a growl. Draco’s clenches his jaw, tightening his teeth feeling Harry’s magic right behind him. As soon as they enter the alley, Corban pushes Draco against the wall holding him with his throat as he points his wand at him “come out Potter, I am in no mood of your little hide and seek games” Draco makes a choking voice, eyes closes tightly when he hears Harry’s calm voice coming in the dark shadows “Let him go Corban”

“Ah, how lovely to see the saviour again” The death eater says, his grip getting loose on Draco’s neck enough to let him breathe “I want you to cut all of the charges off me Potter” he hisses “Or you little lover here, dies”

Draco wants to say that he _isn’t_ Harry’s little lover as his hands reach down to his pocket, he glances at his husband and they make an eye contact “Is that all you want?” he asked his eyes glancing back at Corban.

“No, I want you to let Antoin Dolohov and Stan shunpike out of Azkaban and pull all of your charges off as well”

Harry grits his teeth, his fist get tighter on his wand which was still pointed at the death eater.

“Sectumsempra!” Corban yells, pointing his wand at Draco’s right arm. Harry watched the blood scattered through his cut arm, like he’s been cut with a sharp knife cutting through his clothing, his soft skin and veins.

“Gya!!” the blonde screamed, jerking his body violently from the pain and Harry shouted “Stop! I get it!”

Draco gives him a look, the blonde grabs his wand “Stupefy!!” he shouts wand pointed at Corban’s abdomen and the death eater is flown back.

Corban points his wand at Draco “Avada Kedavra!” he screams as a sharp green light escapes the tip of his wand. Harry’s quick reflexes brings his wand to Draco before the curse leaves the death eater’s wand and he shouts “Protego!”   

“Protego!” Draco just half a second later, and invisible wall of two thick layers of shield appear in front of the blonde. The unforgivable curse flies backwards towards the man who cast it and hits him right in the face taking his life away immediately.

Draco’s knees touch the ground in a loud thug, as he holds onto his wound. Harry rushes to him “Fuck” he whispers grabbing the blonde in his arms “What do I do Draco? Tell me what to do!” he says pushing those sweaty platinum hair back his forehead.

Draco barely opens his mouth, the blood loss making him dizzier than before “Vulnera Sanentur” he manages to whisper as his world spins in circle and white stars start to pop in the air.

“Vulera Sanetur”

“Vlnra Sanentur”

“Vulneera Sanenteer!!” Harry flicks his wand over and over “Fuck, it’s not working”

Draco hears loud shouts of Ron Weasley coming from behind as the man steps into the alley, a little too late.

“St. Mu-ungo’s” the blonde mumbles, eyes demanding to close as he feels his stomach drop to his feet. He can’t hear anything, anymore all he sees is a panic face of Harry who was looking to his side now and then a blob of long scarlet hair with comes beside him, a wand pointed at his arms. He doesn’t faint. Slowly his hearing starts to come back and Draco catches familiar words “Vulnera Sanentur”

He looks to his side to see a very sweaty Ginny Weasley pointing her wand at Draco’s arm, as she heals him dragging the lost blood back in his system. The wound on his arm, completely sealed back leaving ugly lines of scar behind.

“God, I feel like dying” Draco grumblings curling himself into Harry’s stomach as he holds his head in his hands. Harry holds him tighter in his arms, bringing him up towards to his chest “Did he hit his head?” Ginny asked.

“Yeah, Corban hit him against the wall” Harry said, gently rubbing his hands on Draco’s arms.

“What’s your name?” He heard Ginny asks him.

Draco lets out another groan of pain and presses his head against Harry’s chest “Draco Lucius Malfoy-Potter” he answers in a soft voice, feeling like he’s going to vomit soon. He feels Harry’s grip getting tired on him “How old are you?” Ginny asked.

What kind of a silly question was that? He opens his mouth “…”

 _How old am I_? Draco looks up, wide eyes meeting Harry’s and he blinks.

“You have a concussion, a strong one” Ginny says standing up, Draco turns to look at her “Wait” he calls out. She freezes but doesn’t turn around “I want to say thank you, you saved… you saved… who did you save? Someone important to me… thank you”

There’s a silence he can feel Harry’s stare at him, Ginny turns around her mouth slightly open as she blinks at him “with the strong concussion you have, I am surprised that you can even form words” She says a small smile marrying her face.

Draco shakes his head, bad move he thinks as his brain falls to his stomach “You saved my life and my… my…You saved my baby. Don’t you hate me?” he says trying to sit up but miserably fails only to be held by Harry even tightly.

Ginny stares at him “James. Your baby’s name is James” she says, voice soft.

“Yes” Draco blinks “James. You saved James. I don’t hate you anymore but that doesn't mean I like you either” Ginny laughs loudly “Damn Malfoy” She says grinning “He really did hit your head hard, didn’t he? Don’t worry about it, I owed you anyway” She says shrugging and Draco nods his head lightly.

He turns his head to Harry, the man now smiling down at him warmly. Harry leans down and nuzzles their noses together “I want to see him… him?” Draco whispers closing his eyes, energy leaving his system.  

Harry takes his wand out “You need to sleep.” He says then he turns his head at Ginny “I am going to take Draco home, can you go back to Ministry? I’ll be there as soon as I can” Harry says.

“Give him a strengthening potion” She says nodding her head then walking apparating away,

“See him…” Draco mumbles eyes struggling to open “Who is it again?” he whispers lightly as Harry takes his wand out “Hold on tight, I'll apparat you to Jamie” he says.

Draco looks up at him, hands gripping in his shirt “Still angry at you” he says leaning into his husband and Harry wraps an arm around him “I know” he whispers before popping away.

When he pops in Draco’s living room the blonde is already asleep in his arms.

“Draco!” Pansy says loudly rushing towards them.

“Shh!!” Harry says pressing his index finger on his lips “He’s sleeping”

Pansy nods her head, Harry looks around the room “Where’s James?” he says standing up and holding Draco in his arms in a princess carry.

“He’s sleeping, in the room” Pansy says. Harry nods his head and starts to walk when he feels her grab his arm. He turns to look at her “Don’t you dare hurt him again” Pansy says, brows together a hard expression marrying her face “I am not scared of Azkaban you know, I will kill you this time” her voice holds threat and Harry thinks that she actually means every words.

He looks down at the beautiful blond in his arms “I-I… I wish I could say ‘I won’t’ but that putting false hope on myself… that’s like saying that Draco’s coming back to me…” Harry says turning to look at Pansy with a sad smile. She looks at him, then releases his arm and Harry quietly walks away to Draco’s room. He gently places the man on his bed, beside James and covers them with blankets. Harry stares at Draco, he sits on the bed beside him, hand falling down to runs his fingers through his platinum hair _“ **can we go back to how we were?”**_ he whispers softly, voice heavy, the longing aching in the core of his heart as he stares into Draco’s sleeping face. A sight he thought he wouldn’t see again, he knowns he has fucked up, made the worst mistake possible in their relationship. He knows he can’t un-do what he has done, no matter how much he wishes to turn the time around. The regret, the guilt it just keeps eating him away and every time Draco is around he can’t help but to show his feeling. He wants to show Draco, that he’s changed, that he won’t _ever_ make the same mistake again. Won’t even think about it, he’s been an idiot before but that was in the past. He let himself lure into a women’s trap who opened her legs for him and maybe because it was Ginny, someone he once had tiny romantic feelings for trigged something in him to sleep with her. He knows that doesn’t explain anything, he knows that reason can’t make things right for him. Though he doesn’t love her, never did. He wants to fix his mistakes, wants to start again, he wants to so badly to make up with his family. To own up for all the pain and hurt he has caused to Draco, to replace those bad memories with good ones but… what can he do if Draco no longer wants to open his doors for him? If Draco doesn’t want him around anymore, he can’t even look at Harry without a glare. What can he do when Draco won’t let him in anymore…?

Harry sighs softly, he leans down and presses his lips on Draco’s flat forehead, desperately missing the way he once used to do the action when they were still together. He pulls back, fingers still running in those silky hair.

They used to be so great. So perfect.

But because of his berk mind, cowardliness, because of his irrational way of thinking… he has broken the thick walls of trust between them, shattered, crumbled every single thing that defined their relationship. It was exactly him which was the reason why everything went so wrong. Why they broke apart.

With one last look, he presses another kiss on Draco’s forehead, stands up and leaves the room closing the door behind him softly.

He’s isn’t excepting Draco’s forgiveness. He’s sure he won’t be granted one, anyway.

**January 9 th, Friday, 2004**

“Draco! It’s a brilliant idea!” Hermione says over the floo, her face burning in the fire. “We didn’t even have a new year’s get together!”

“I don’t know Hermione” the blonde say’s rubbing the back of his neck as James plays with his toys sitting in Draco’s laps “You know what happened last time, you were there” he says awkwardly thinking back to their last get together on Christmas night.

“So what!?” She says “Come on Draco!! Pleaseee” she insist “Besides, Charlie won’t be there. It’s only Me, Ron, Pansy, Blaise, you and Harry. That’s all, a little get together won’t hurt! Plus it’s my house, not Molly’s” Hermione says, her tone begging as she tries her best to convince the man to come over from tomorrow’s dinner.

Draco bites his lips “Fine… I’ll think about it” he says hugging James’s in his arms. She beams at him “Wonderful!! I’ll see you tomorrow then! 8:00 pm sharp!” Hermione says cutting the floo connection off. Draco sighs, he bends down and presses his cheek against James’s, swinging them side to side.

“I love you” he says tiredly.

“I llaaa youuu” James says back and that lifts a smile up on Draco’s lips.

**January 10 th, Saturday, 2004**

 “What’s wrong Draco?” Pansy asked, holding James in her arms. The baby wore a blue jeans romper with a white shirt underneath similar to what his father was wearing. Draco also wore a blue jeans jumpsuits with black shirt underneath, the straps loosely off his shoulders practically hanged down his arm. He wore his study rectangular glass, his normal platinum straight hair were hanging down his forehead in slight waves.

“I don’t know…” he says sitting on the sofa in between Pansy and Blaise “My heart feels so empty” he whispers looking down at his cupped hands.

Blaise clears his throat “I am sorry” he says “I _need_ to ask” he says eyeing Draco’s outfit “What the heck are you wearing?”

Draco blinks, he chuckles at Blaise’s confused expression “Muggle clothes” he says with a smile.

“Since when did you stop wearing robes?” Blaise asked crossing his arms over his grey robes. Draco smirks and rolls his eyes “Since, I spend three years in France surrounded with muggles” he says and Pansy laughs.

“I think it’s brilliant!” she says grinning “It really suits you Draco, you look so cute”

Draco rolls his eyes “I don’t fancy called being cute” he says flatly, mouth frowning.

“I think we should getting going” Blaise says standing up “We are already half-hour late”

Pansy stands up and rolls her eyes “Relax, this is not work. She won’t fire you” she says as Draco gets up. James flies his hands towards the blonde “Ma- Mowwy!” he says leaning forward and Draco grabs him then kissing his cheek.

Draco steps into the warmth of Hermione’s living with Rose running towards him “Uncle Draco!” the almost four year old girl shouts his name and jumps on him with excitement. Draco laughs lightly and hugs her back “Hello Rosie” he says.

“Hey mate” He hears Ron’s voice

“Draco, Pansy, Blaise! About time” Hermione’s voice comes from the kitchen.

“Ya!” James screams his high pitched voice and pulls on Rose’s red fuzzy hair.

“Ouch!” the little says, grabbing his chubby hands.

Draco panic “James! No, stop it” he says gently pulling James’s hands away from Rose’s hair. He looks at the little girl in front of him “I am sorry Rose” he says shifting James’s on his other hand.

 “It’s okay” she smiles “He’s just a baby, he doesn’t know any better” Draco blinks at her calm steady voice, yup defiantly Hermione’s daughter. She looks at James and smiles “Hello Jamie” James sticks his tongue out at her and turns his head in the curve of Draco’s neck.

“Possessive little monster” Draco hear Pansy say from his side and the blonde smiles at Rose ruffling her hair. He smiles at Ron and the red head walks up to him and pulls him in a hug.

“Da! Dad-ddi!” James squeals clapping his hands together. Draco blinks, he turns to look at Pansy and hands James to her. She gives him a confused look but Draco doesn’t look at the back at the room, instead he goes to the kitchen where Hermione was standing.

During the dinner, Draco couldn’t concentrate on anything. He sits quietly feeding James, looking down at his foods and only talking when someone dragged his name in the conversation.

“Harry you should play your guitar for us later!”

Draco hitches his breathe at Hermione’s voice, he blinks, guitar? What guitar? He thinks.

“I don’t know Herm, I think I am going to go home instead” Harry’s voice sounds tired, exhausted like if he didn’t sleep last night. Draco feels his heart drop, he lifts his head up to finally look at the man he didn’t even spare a glance at since he walked in. Those green eyes were already staring at him, his heart clenches when he sees no light, no sign of life in them. He feels a lump in his throat when a shaky smile forces up Harry’s face, that smile looks ugly on him he thinks so he just stares at him with no strength to smile back.

“No way mate! You promised Rose you would sing for her tonight” Ron says pointing his fork at the Harry.

“Yes Uncle Harry! You promised! You promised!” Roses bounced on her chair, moving forward till her belly hit the table as she pouted at the man.

“Alright, alright” Draco watched as Harry put his hands in the air “But just one song” there was a loud gasp from Rose, then she squealed loudly, clapping her hands.

*

They all sit in the living room, on the carpet as Harry and Ron sit in front of them with the fire place behind them. The room was dimed, the only light coming from the wild fire. Harry brushes his fingers on the strings of his honey brown guitar, flutter his eyes as Draco watches him swallowing slightly. James snores in his arms, sucking on his thumb as Draco holds him close to his chest with Pansy and Blaise sitting beside him. A light tone, ‘dirnt’ out of the guitar in a warm melody and Harry turns his head towards the wand Ron was holding in front of him.

_Loving can hurt_

Draco’s breathe hitches, he blinks listening to Harry’s hoarse, hurt and broken voice.

_Loving can hurt sometimes,_

_but it's the only thing that I know…_

_When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes_

It is the only thing that makes us feel alive

_We keep this love in a photograph_

_We made these memories for ourselves_

_Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken_

_And time's forever frozen still_

Draco’s heart throbs a beat, squeezing tightly in his chest. The room is quite, listening to the soulful, deep voice of Harry as everyone swings their bodies enjoying the soft melody of the guitar.

_So you can keep me_

_Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans_

_Holding me closer ‘til our eyes meet_

_You won’t ever be alone_

Those dead green eyes, which ones shinned with fire, happiness and love now gazed at Draco with emptiness. The blonde stiffens, heart longed in his throat when Harry’s eyes didn’t move away from him.

_I’ll wait for you to come home._

His chest closes up, he could feel his heart tightening between his ribs. He brings James closer to him, pushing his tiny body up and Draco gently leaves a kiss on his head.

_Loving can heal,_

_Loving can mend your soul_

_And it's the only thing that I know, **know** …_

When Harry’s voice breaks at the end, coming out in a grating scratchy Draco almost jumped out of his seat to rush to the man and hug him in his arms. To hold him against his chest. Dammit, he can feel the burn in his throat making its way up to his eyes. He takes a deep breathe, eyes still locked with those pinning green ones.

_I swear it will get easier,_

_Remember that with every piece of you_

  
_Hm, and it's the only thing we take with us when we die_

Pansy squeezes his tights gently then rubbing her hand on his knee though he doesn’t look at her. He stares in Harry’s eyes as the man continues to sing. He can feel the stares of other’s in the room glancing between him and Harry but he’s too emotion of a wreck to give a damn about it.

_I’ll wait for you to come home._

Home.

For so long Draco wondered if it was just a word… but… now that he looks at Harry, in his eyes as all the emotions pour back to him bringing him back from the death, he realises-

Maybe home isn't a place.

Maybe it's a person.

He watches, with a heavy heart as Harry fingers start to play the guitar in fast, heavy, cascade beats

_And if you hurt me,_

_-_ A small smile curves up his lips, Harry’s green eyes softening as they stare into his grey ones –

_Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed_

Draco’s heart starts to fall apart bit by bit, shattering into pieces yearning for Harry’s love again and wanted to end this languish anger, fight, wanted to forgive him for everything but mostly important anxious to move one and give in to Harry’s touch, his love

_Inside these pages you just hold me and I won't ever let you go_

_When you are away,_

_I will remember how you kissed me under the lamppost back on Sixth Street Hearing you whisper through the phone, "Wait for me to come home."_

Draco moves his legs, Pansy grabs him by the hand “Draco where are you going?” she asks looking at him.

“Home” he says in a very low voice, her eyes widen and her grip on his wrist losses. Draco gets up and walks towards the kitchen, walking towards the backward. He slides the door open and steps on the wooden floor the freezing air greeting him immediately. He takes his wand out and cast a strong warming charm on him and James, the heat melting their cold cheeks instantly.

“Draco…”

He closes his eyes on the familiar voice and hears the door slide shut again as Harry steps behind him. A warm black shawl comes around his shoulder and Draco wraps the cloth tightly around him, hiding James’s under it.

“I thought it was all over.” He whisper watching the soft snow fall from the dark sky “I thought I could leave and when I come back I’ll be stronger than before. I’ll be able to face you again without making a fool of myself.” Draco chuckles lightly, letting his eyes burn, he was done fighting back “I was a fool enough to think that I would never see you again… but then you appeared in front of me in that conference room. I hate that I saw you again. I hate that my life was in chaos again so easily with just a glance of your face. I hate seeing you over and over again, epically with Weaslette because… because-” Draco brings his hand up and wipes his tears with his fingers, glad that James is asleep in his arms. “Because they bring back my feelings which I tried so hard to forget”

There’s a sense of false hope, sorrow and wretchedness Harry feels in his chest, something he feels every time when they are alone. Despite all of that, he never accepted to hear those words. When he walked after Draco with Hermione’s shawl, he was accepting anger, hatred but not those words, anything but that. His heart quickens a beat “I thought- I thought that you… hate me?”

Draco turns his body around, looking into Harry’s eyes, those eyes which look so tired so… dead “I do!” He almost shouts “I hate you so much. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!!!” Harry feels his heart clench tightly “You broke me, hurt me, made a fool out me and played me” Harry shakes his head but Draco keeps on speaking “The reason I hate you so much now is because I loved you so much then” The blonde looks in those green eyes, emotions slowly coming back to them as Harry’s eyes widen “You rarely said that to me. It always made me wonder if you ever actually loved me?” the man says.  

Draco lets out a hysterical snort “So I need to say some three words to express my feelings for you!? Was my care for wasn’t enough!? My staying up at nights, wondering if you were well and worrying myself sick hoping you didn’t get your arse killed by some villain. Me taking days off to spend time with you, did you still didn’t see my love for you!? Or-Or” he chokes on a sob “Or me fully offering my body to you. Was that not enough for?” His voice trails off in a whispers and in that moment Harry truly believes he’s been a huge bastard. “If words matter to you so much, then why did you break your promises? You said you only had eyes for me and no one else. You said you would never leave me, you would be my side till the end. You promise us future, with a family of our own and that you would be there, spending every second of my pregnancy at home with me so I don’t have to go through the pain alone. What happened to all of that?”

His words were suffocating. Though, more then words, it pains Harry when each time a new tear drops down from Draco’s beautiful grey eyes, knowing he’s the cause of them. His heart breaks when Draco lifts his lips up in a sad smile, bringing James closer to him as he sniffs his red nose.

“You were my everything. Everything Harry. My first crush, my first love, my first rival and my best friend. We grew up together. We went through a lot, the war, Hogwarts, fights and so many more moments which are countless. We have so much history together. I was sure anyone could hurt me, even my closest friend but… not you, _never_ you. You were the last person I thought could hurt me, I would never think, even in my wildest dreams that _you_ would cheat on. Your betrayal broke me apart and stuck with me all these years never leaving me alone for even a minute and I hate… I hate how even when we were apart you still had the power to hurt me. The memories of you, of us, they haunted me wherever I went and even if I told myself ‘this is the last time’ it wasn’t. It fucking hurt. It hurt so bad. I lost count of how many times, I stayed up at nights thinking when everything went so wrong? Was it me Harry? Did I do something wrong that you chose to turn your back on? That you chose her over me? Was it something I said? Something I did?” His vision is so blurry by his tears that he can barely see Harry, and throat aching badly as he forces his voice out between his sobs.

“It still hurts. Everyday. Every minute. Every second. It still hurts and I don’t know how to heal myself. When you are around, all the memories good or bad they come rushing back to me, haunting me and I can’t stop them. Why?” Harry can hear nothing up despair, sorrow and hurt in Draco’s broken crumbled voice. He feels the back of his eyes burning, he has so many things to say. So many words, so much to explain to take away all of Draco’s insecurities but he doesn’t dare to say a words, he lets the blonde speak, letting the man spill all of his weakness out to him because for the first time since they met this is the moment Draco has ever opened himself. “Why did you do that to me? I gave all of me to you but you just… _murdered_ me. So easily. Did mean nothing to you? I went against my father to be with you, he didn’t even want to see me when he died. You saw me at my worst, before the war, during the war and then after the war. You were there when my mother died, you saw me break down through all of it. You know what I went through and you know I can’t bear to be alone. You made so many promises- _why_?- just fucking, _why_!? When you were going to break them all?”

Harry hates himself even more, he never knew _how_ much had he actually hurt Draco. In this moment his words hit him like bullets and he knowns there are no words he can possibly say to take all of Draco’s pain away.

“I guess that’s my fault too. For trusting you… or maybe you grew tired of me? Is that it? Maybe I wasn’t perfect enough for you? Maybe you felt that I didn’t care for you or I didn’t love you enough” He takes in a shaky deep breathe, hating himself for being so emotionally weak on this night but he doesn’t care. He just wants Harry to listen to him, to the words he’s been itching to say for so long which had built up in his heart chewing his brain out since he had no answer to them. He needs to know, he _has_ to know “Did you… Did you ever love me in the first place…? Even for a second? Or was this all game to you?”           

“I did” not even a beat of his heart passed and Harry had already answered him “I still do, I never stopped lovi-”

 

 “Stop!” Draco shouts, James shakes his arms “Don’t- D-Don’t lie to me” his breath hitching, lips trembling as he blinks his eyes rapidly to get a clear vision of Harry.

Harry looks so genuine, every feature serious, his eyes red and small from tears of his own. He looks like he’s never been so serious in his entire life and that scares Draco. He watches as Harry walks forward towards him, but he doesn’t move back he stays still.

“Rule number one” Harry whispers, he brings his hand up to Draco’s face and wipes away the flood of tears rolling down his eyes. Draco doesn’t flinch away, doesn’t pushes him away, instead he stares into those watery green eyes. He unconsciously relaxes and leans into the warm touch of Harry’s hand without a second thought and inhales shakily. He closes his eyes, tears falling down once more as his body trembles. Opening his eyes, he holds James tightly against him fearing that he might actually drop the baby. He missed this, Harry’s touch. He had almost forgotten the warm touch of his hand and the feeling he gets in his stomach every time Harry touches him. He missed it “Never lie”

“Then, what about the time when you told me you don’t want a child anymore? Were you being honest then?”

Harry shakes his head “That was my first lie to you and the last time I would ever break our rule again” he whispers. The sight of those over-flowing tears falling down Harry’s eyes leaves Draco speechless. Harry Potter never cries. He’s never seen Harry cry, he’s only heard Hermione say that the one time she seen Harry cry was when Sirius died and that was it. So now when Harry is crying in front of him he can’t help but to wonder… that maybe, maybe, Harry is hurting as much as he is. That maybe he’s not the only one with a broken heart. It’s always been Draco, who does most of the crying even when he tries to stay strong. Never Harry though, the man is known for his stone heart. Hermione always claimed to deny it, but Draco secretly agreed that maybe Harry was stoned heart until now.

“I waited for you…” Draco says eyes closes as letting more tears slip out “Before I left England, I waited for you to come. I spend the nights, only thinking that you will come tomorrow and try to talk to me again… but you never came”

“I-I wanted to come! So badly, but Hermione held me back. She said that I need to give you time to cool down. Every second that I spend was ways to get you back home, even if I had to beg on my knees… but I was too late… I came home after staying the night with the Weasleys before Charlie left and all of your belongings, everything, it was all gone. I-I thought I lost you that day, I remember that for the first time, I couldn’t breathe. I went over to Pansy but she kicked me out telling me nothing, I looked everywhere for you Draco. Even the damn Malfoy Manor but you weren’t there, I couldn’t even locate you from your magic so I figured you weren’t in England anymore. I knew you were hiding from me. I knew, but I couldn’t… just the thought of living without you destroyed every bits of me. I had to find you, I couldn’t- All this time, when you weren’t with me I felt so lost. So empty and my heart doesn’t know any other way to live, I love you.” Harry’s voice was broken, as broken as his own “I know you probably don’t believe me but, I love you Draco, I really do.” Draco cups his face with his free hand, the shawl slipping down his shoulder and whips a tear away _I love you too, I love you too._ “I know I have been an idiot. I don’t know how to begin to apologize because saying sorry just doesn’t make up for what I did. I am such a disappointment to you… even when I promised to never put you through pain, I am the one who ends up hurting you the most. I hate myself for it. I know, Merlin, I know that and I am sorry that I can't take away all that I put you through but if you allow me, I can make up for it... I know I hurt you. Caused you pain, I am an idiot, a big fucking idiot. I don’t know how to take your pain away But- but if you let me, I still want to make things right. I want to make you happy again. I don’t want a divorce Draco, I don’t want you to leave me. I know you won’t forgive me for my mistakes, just like that but- but I still want you to know” if he had a time turner, long ago he would have turned the time back to when Ginny entered his life and he destroyed it all for him and Draco. He would undo everything. He swears he would. To take away all the pain he has caused Draco, just to see him smile again, to see the light shining in his eyes again.

“I am sorry. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry you had to spend those nine months of pregnancy by yourself. I am sorry I wasn’t there for you. I am sorry this is how things turned out to be. I am sorry for hurting you, I am sorry baby, I am so sorry”

_Baby_

The nickname of love, which he hasn’t heard in a long time makes Draco’s body tremble and he cries harder. He brings his hand to his cheeks, rubbing the eyes to wipe the tears away. His heart pangs with pain, longing as he holds the enormous urge back to embrace Harry in his arms again.

“Will you believe me?”

His voice is small, as if he’s scared of Draco’s answers. It’s filled with regret and anguish that it empties all the words out of his brain and leaves Draco blank “G-Give me a reason too… show me that you have changed” he says, he just wants to go home. Harry leans in and rests their forehead together “I will. I promise.” he solemnly says, staring into those sliver watery grey eyes. Draco sniff lightly, the energy leaking from his body with every blow of the wind. His legs tremble, too weak to even stand and he closes his eyes “I am tired…” Draco whispers opening his eyes, looking up at his husband “Take us home Harry”

Harry’s eyes widen, then his gaze softens a smile spreading on lips with more tears falling down his eyes. He wraps his large arms around Draco’s body, squeezing James in the middle. Harry takes his wand out, and Draco brings his free hand out to hold the front of Harry’s shirt, his forehead falling on Harry’s shoulder.

“Hold onto James” Harry whispers in his ear, then kissing it gently. Draco grips onto his baby tightly, moving forward to press his body into Harry more. Harry’s grips gets tighter on him and a flick of his wand together they apparated away to 12 Grimmauld Place.

*

Draco gently placed James in the baby cart, covering the snoring baby with blanket as he stands in a very familiar room. Harry’s arms came around him from the back , holding him from the waist and Draco lets himself lean back in, he lets himself sink in that warmth, when he missed so much. 

“This looks better on your finger” Harry whispers in his ear, voice deep and hallow as he grabs his left hand and slips the golden titanium on his ring finger. Draco looks at the ring on his finger, his eyes then glancing at Harry’s ring on his finger. Seeing that ring on his finger again brings back treasure memories of the time when he stood at the stage in the church, facing the man he loves as he hears Harry say ‘I do’ with eyes fixed only at him and smile lifted up in the name of love.

“I’d marry you again Malfoy” Harry says in his ear “If it means to have you in my arms forever”

A smile makes up Draco lips as he hums lightly, he places his hands over Harry’s “till death do us part” he says softly leaning back in his husband’s chest.

Harry chuckles, arms getting tighter around his waist “Till death do us part” he solemnly says.

Draco’s eyes slowly make their way to the side, passing James as he titles his head to look back at his husband. Harry is already looking at him, with those eyes which hold warmth, love, intense mixture of lust, desire and it makes Draco’s stomach curl sending butterflies in every corner. His eyes fall on Draco’s lips, and the blonde leans but as Harry leans down. In that moment, when their lips are about to meet after years of longing, waiting and yearning Draco thinks no, Harry will never actually know how _much_ Draco loves him. So much that no words could ever describe how much he is in love with this man. Before their lips meet, before they re-connect Draco looks up at Harry’s eyes and sees the same emotions spread out on his face which resembles his own. Smiling he thinks, that maybe Harry loves him just as much and their lips join in hunger, sucking Draco in desire, such strong craving which he didn’t know he had until now. He turns around arms flying to Harry’s neck as he lets out a moan. Harry’s arms go around his waist, their lips moving together passionately breaking only for seconds for breath then meeting together. Greedy tongues sliding together in such desire that pulling them apart for breathe almost seem impossible. Harry pushes Draco back on the bed, lifting his shirt off and Draco’s arm come around him to pull him down for another kiss.

For the first time in years, that night they slept peacefully wrapped around one another without having that ugly empty feeling swirling deep in their chest. Tonight it felt, as if their hearts become one again, the longing feeling replaced with warmth.

 

One thing marriage has taught Draco is; love isn't love till you give it away and it comes back to you again. It’s crazy, powerful, possessive and intense, unlike other relationships it can only be shared with two people but can be easily destroyed on an action of betrayal. Though the feeling doesn’t go away, even after years the effects of a broken heart stays with you and can destroy every bits of you. You know it’s real when even after all the pain, the torture you still want to be with that one person who will forever make your heart beat like a crazy disco ball.

 

**January 11 th, Sunday, 2004**

The sun shines through the large window, lighting up the enormous room, it’s rays falling on the large king size bed. James is laying, on his stomach, eyes wide open and making lazily noises “daaaaa-diiiiii”

Harry sits against the wooden bed rest “Yes baby” he replies running his fingers through the baby’s hair eyes staring at the beautiful man sleeping next to him. He watches Draco sleep lightly, the blanket brushes off him when he moves slightly and his pale shoulder is reviled. Harry smiles he leans his head down and kisses Draco’s shoulder lightly, memories from last night coming back to him.  

They had made, warm, slow passionate love to one another, over and over till Harry lost counts. Holding each other close the whole night, whispering words of love, making new promises and kept making love till every muscle in their body ached and sleep took over them.

“Daaaaaa-ddddiiiii” James sings again.

Harry rested his head on top of James “Jammmeiiii' he says back, his eyes still fixed on his husband.  

The blonde fidgets under the blankets, Harry holds his breath waiting for the magical moment when those grey eyes would open and look at him. Draco moans lightly, eyes squeezing for a moment then slowly fluttering them open. The first thing he sees is two pair of absolutely gorgeous green piercing eyes already staring at him. Harry leans down and captures those rosy lips with his own. He leans back just a little to watch, breathing slowly when a smile which he has longed to see for years gently flips up Draco’s face as the blonde opens his lips and the first word that comes out of his mouth this early morning is his name ‘Harry.’

 

 

**January 17 th, Saturday, 2004**

Draco stretches after fixing the crumbled bedsheet, he looks over to the carpeted floor to find James happily playing with a little dragon toy which Harry bought him yesterday. Smiling he walks over to the closet, to find a pair of new clothes and then heading to shower. A ball of clothes roll down to his feet, when he opens the door of the closet and Draco grumbles “Ugh, _Harry!’_ he says in annoyance. His husband has a bad habit of rolling clothes and stuffing them in his side of the closet. The head of Auror was getting a lecture from him once he comes out of his morning shower, Draco thinks bending down to pill of clothes. Sighing he starts to fold Harry’s clothes, placing them nicely in the shelf of the closet. His hand reaches forward to grab a pair of pants which had fallen at the very back of the closet. Draco blinks when his fingers touches a hallow woods, he knocks on it twice and it falls backwards.

“What the---

Confused, using both of his hands Draco bends his head down to see a cube cut out of the very bottom part of the closet covered with the shelfs above. He moves the wooden piece, which was covering the hallow cube and finds three boxes in them. Draco blinks, reaching forward he takes the three carbon boxes out and wipes the little dust away from the cover.

They were all labeled with the years, **2000, 2001, 2002, 2003**

Curiously, he pulls the box labeled with **2000** towards up and lifts the cover open. His eyes widen at the piles of white envelopes stacked nicely, side by side.

“What the hell?” Draco whispers, taking a random envelope out from the middle.

It was dated **September 15 th, 2000 **curiously he flips it open and takes out the letter inside.

_Dear Draco,_

His breathe gets caught in his lungs and his heart beat rises as he tells himself to read on.

_Dear Draco,_

_Another letter was returned to me yesterday, another un-opened letter. It’s been three months, since you left and here I am writing you again. It’s still hard to believe that you are gone, I still come home thinking of seeing your lovely smile. The reality still slaps me when I step into this empty house. I am sorry. Did I say that to you? I am sorry. I am so sorry. I love you Draco, come back to me. Wherever you are, come back. I am sorry._

_Yours, always yours_

_Harry._

Draco puts the letter down on his laps and breaths, he quickly skips through the pill of letters

**September 14 th, 2000**

**September 10 th, 2000**

**September 8 th, 2000**

**September 7 th, 2000**

**September 6 th, 2000**

Skipping a pile of letter, he starts to skim through them again

**August 3 rd, 2000**

**August 2 sd, 2000**

**August 1 st, 2000**

**July 30 th, 2000**

**July 29 th, 2000**

**July 25 th, 2000**

**July 23 th, 2000**

**July 16 th, 2000**

**July 11 th, 2000**

He pulls out the very first letter, from the pile of the box and quickly flips it open, heart pounding in his ears.

_Dear Draco,_

_I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry. Please talk to me. Let me explain? I know you are angry, you have every right to be! But please Draco, please, don’t hate me. I love you. I know you won’t believe me but I really do love you. I can’t accept you to forgive me, I know that my lies have damaged our relationship beyond repair, but I just need you to hear me out. Yes, I did sleep with Ginny, but not because I love her, I did it out of lust. I was mad, an idiot enough to let her seduce me. God, it’s all my fault and you might never want to see me again and that scares the fuck out of me. I can’t imagine my life without you Draco, right now I just want you back in my arms and I don’t know what to say because every explanation will sound like an excuse. A lie. I am so sorry, so fucking sorry. For hurting to you, for breaking your trust. I love you. I love you. I want to talk things out, you can yell at me. Scream, shout, hex me but don’t hate me. Will you let me see you again? Can I come tomorrow to visit you? Please reply back to me, I love you._

_Yours, always yours_

_Harry._

Draco swallows and takes out the next letter

**July 12 th, 2000**

_Dear Draco,_

_I was accepting the letter to come back burned but it hurt more when I received it back unopened. I am sorry love, I am so sorry. You hate me, don’t you? I hate myself too… I can’t believe I fucked it all up. I know you don’t want to see me, but Draco, I can’t live without you. I such an idiot! Hermione and Ron are beating me up for it every second, reminding me how badly I fucked up. I am sorry… I know you might never forgive me but seeing you glare at me when you once looked at me when same loving eyes rips my heart out of my chest. Will you talk to me? Let me explain everything? Please?_

_Yours, always yours_

_Harry._

Draco takes out a bunch of letters, opening them all and the first words always starting with _Dear Draco._ He could feel his eyes burning as he holds the letter with the date of July 26th 2000.

_Draco!!_

_Where are you!? Please answer my owls Draco!! Where did you go? No one’s telling me anything! Draco, please, PLEASE, fuck- you left me. You actually left me. I am sorry. I AM SORRY! I am so fucking sorry. Come back, please come back. I don’t know where you are, I looked everywhere for you. The manor, Pansy’s house and all the other places I could think off. Fuck- where do I look? How do I find you…?_

_I love you_

_I love you_

_Please answer me, I’ll come running, flying. Anything. Just answer me._

_Yours, always yours_

_Harry_

Draco runs his fingers over the dried drops which had the inked smudged, like the drop of water falling and he realised that the blob of small water were actually dried away tears. His heart clenches painfully and Draco takes in a deep breath. Fingers shaking, he reaches his hand down and takes out the last letter from the box.

**December 31 st, 2000**

_Dear Draco,_

_I miss you. I miss you so much that I feel like all of insides have gone numb. There’s this empty feeling in my heart and I feel like I am all hallow from the inside. Like there isn’t much left of me. I wish you were here. I keep on remembering your laugh, your smile and the way you used to call my name. Sometimes, when I am drifted away in our memories, I hear your voice ringing in my ears and for a split second I think you are here, laying beside me in our bed. If I thought Christmas, didn’t feel like Christmas then New Year’s defiantly feels as dead. Hermione thinks, I shouldn’t spend so much time in the house… but she doesn’t understand that every corner of this house holds a chunk of you. Your faded presence, your faded scent which isn't there anymore but I can still sniff it out from the corners. I wonder how you are doing, I hope you fine and happy. I hope that you are laughing because it was your laugh which made me fall in love with you in the first place. I am so tired today, Draco, so tired, that I wish I could fall asleep in your arms. I wish you were here. I am sorry, for everything. I said that word so many times now, written it so many times, that it fells as hallow as me. Like it has no meaning anymore. I know you won’t read this letter either and sometimes I wonder, why do I even write but then I remember that this is my only hope. That one day, you will get tired off receiving my letters and will open at least one of them before sending it back to me. You don’t have to reply, just read them. Though, I am starting to think that even the owl can’t find you, they are starting to come back to me later than usual, like you aren’t in England anymore._

_I hope you have a lovely New Year’s, I know I won’t._

_I love you_

_Yours, always yours_

_Harry._

A tear slides down his eyes as he drops the letter in his laps. He hears James’s crawling towards him “Mowwy” the baby says lightly and Draco turns his head to smile at the boy. He wipes a tear away and scoops the baby in his arms “Yes baby?” he says, voice heavy from the lump in his throat as he kisses James’s forehead.

“Ouchie?” The baby says titling his head and Draco nods his head kissing James’s cheek again. He crosses his legs, lifts James, making him sit in his laps and he puts the opened letter to the pile of many other open letters next to him.  

He opens the next box which was labeled **2001** he gasp loudly when he sees a pile of envelops which were in a larger amount than the pile of letters in the previous box.

“No fucking way” he moves his lips, whispering in his brain as he quickly brings the other two boxes and lifts their lids up. His stomach curls and heart flips, the blood rushes up to his brain as he stares at those piles of piles of letters sitting in those boxes.

“Oh my God” He says breathlessly, James’s turning his head back giving him a worried look. He grabs a letter randomly from each boxes, opening them quickly to see if they were all written for him.

**March 24 th 2001**

_Dear Draco,_

_I miss you, today I went to Weasleys, Ginny was there but I didn’t even look at her, my mind was thinking about you-_

**November 17 th 2002**

_Dear Draco,_

_I love you, I love you so much. I am sorry for everything. I miss you, your presence, they haunt me. I can’t escape-_

**June 5 th, 2003**

_Dear Draco,_

_Happy Birthday Love, you are 23 now, wow, I wish I was there to tell you how important you are to me. How lucky I was when I decided to run after you in forth year. Do you remember that day love? When I thought that you had some part in Voldemort’s coming back to life ritual but instead you asked me if I was okay. It still shocks me sometimes, that we were enemies at one point-_

The door of his room swings open and Draco looks up, blinking away the tears from his hazy sight to see Harry standing in front of him with very curly blow-dry hair.

“Hey Draco, I was thinking of going outside for dinn---” Harry’s words get caught in his throat as his eyes fall on a Draco who was holding a white bended, rusty paper in his hand. Harry’s heart skips a beat, when his eyes travel to Draco’s wet eyes then to the boxes next to the blonde. His heart falls down to his stomach, as he grips onto the handle “H-How, did you find-

“I love you”

Harry blinks “What?” He whispers out softly.

“Dad-dy!! Dad-ddy!!” James shouts happily and Draco places him on the ground standing up on his feet. He walks over to his husband and pulls him into a tight embrace “I love you” Draco whispers, voice raspy “I love you”

Harry thinks his heart is going to explode, he brings his arms up and warps them around his blonde husband.

“I love you too” he says embracing the blonde tightly, then kissing the side of his face near his closed eye. Draco inhales his lovely scent wondering how many times did he imagine saying those words and hearing them in return. He opens his eyes as Harry trails soft kisses down his jaw line, Draco tilts his head and their lips join in a soft kiss.

“I love you” he whispers, before claiming Harry’s lips again in a deep kiss. Their tongues danced together, twirling around and arching together.

“Yaaa!” the loud squeaky voice makes them break apart, Draco looks back to see a very pouty James. Harry chuckles and leans down to scoop the baby in his arms “Hi buddy” he says but gets a tiny slap for his son instead.

“No, Mowwy” James says, eyes boring into Harry’s and then he flies his hands towards Draco. Harry blinks as the blonde takes the baby away from his him.

“What’s wrong Jamie?” Draco asks tilting his head but the baby just hides his head in the curve of his neck. The blonde blinks, he turns his head to look at Harry who shrugs his shoulders. Then a laugh bubbles out of his throat “What?” Harry asks, voice dripping with curiosity.

“Watch” Draco says leaning up and presses their lips together, his husband immediately kissing him back.

“YAA!” James’s hands come flying, pushing Harry’s face away from his ‘mommy’. Draco couldn’t help it, he bursts into a loud laughter. Harry blinks, more amused than shocked “are you kidding me?” he says watching as Draco laughs more. James’s has his brows knot, arms lopped around Draco’s neck as he glares at Harry.

“Don’t you know Harry? Kids this age are always possessive over their parents, mostly towards their mothers or generally the person they stay with constantly” The blonde answers smiling widely and then leaning down to kiss James’s head. Harry gives him a flat look, humming deeply clearly not amused. Draco chuckles, he leans forward “I’ll make it up to you at night, go to work” he whispers in his ear, he feels Harry’s breath hitch and he quickly peeks his lips before walking back to those letters.

“I’ll be holding you on that” Harry’s voice say as Draco brings the box labeled with 2000 closer to him. He glances up to see a warm smile laid on Harry’s lips “Get to work, you are already late” Draco says smiling. Harry walks forward and scoops James in his arms “I love you” he says kissing the baby’s cheek making James’s giggle.

“I laaa yoooou” James replies happily. Draco smiles, the scene bringing warmth to his chest and melting his heart instantly. Harry bends down and gently places James’s on the ground “You don't have to read those, you know” he says looking at his husband.

"I know, but I want too" Draco says and Harry smiles down at him "I love you" a warm blushes makes up his pale cheeks and suddenly Draco feels shy but this time he says the words back “I love you too” he whispers softly. The man smiles at him and leans down to place a quick kiss before standing up again.

“I’ll be home by 8:00” he says walking away and the blonde nods his head “I’ll see you then” Draco says smiling as Harry walks out the room and he turns his head back to box filled of letters.

 

**January 19 th, Monday, 2004**

“Oh God, I am going to be late!” Draco says, rushing towards the boiling pot of tea as Harry flips the toast “I tried to wake you up earlier” he says with Draco rushes pass him to crab two cups. Harry had a day off today, James was still sleeping as it was 8:00 am in the morning and Draco was having the worst Monday ever. His head was hurting and he woke up feeling noxious.

“Ugh, I feel like crap” he says grabbing a seat at the table and Harry places the plate of toast in front of his husband. Draco sighs, he swipes the mango jam on the toast and takes a bite.

“You look pale” Harry says coming to sit in front of him “take some medicine after”

Before Draco could nod, he feels a rush of force making it’s way up from his stomach and he cups his mouth rushing towards the sink. He hears the sound of Harry pushing the chair back as he vomits “Draco! What’s wrong!?” his husband asks coming to his side in a heartbeat and rubbing his back gently.

Draco feels his heart rate go up “Harry…” he says softly, whipping his mouth them hands coming back to grip the sink.

Those worried green eyes look back at him widely “Yeah?” Harry says quickly, still rubbing his back.

“Did you use a protecting charm when we had sex?” Draco asks. Harry’s face crumbles as he stares at him looking confused “What?” he says “No. Why would I use a protecting charm?”

Draco’s heart stops “Are you fucking kidding me?” he whispers voice barely coming out of his throat.

“No… was I supposed to use one?” Harry says and Draco cups his face groaning in frustration as he whispers out a painful ‘oh my God’. He swings his head at his dumbfounded husband “YES!” Harry jumps at Draco’s loud voice “Yes you were!” the blonde screams holding his hair.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks sensing the panic in Draco’s voice. When Draco doesn’t answers and groans in return Harry feels the panic run through his veins as well “Seriously Draco, what’s wrong? You are worrying me”

The blonde swings his head and glares at the man “When a male uses pregnancy potion and is successful, they are able to get pregnant again without the potion you dumbarse!!” he yells throwing his hands in the air. Harry blinks taking in the information “Seriously?” his voice holding laughter of joy with a bubble of excitement popping in his stomach.

“Yes! Did you think the womb just disappears in the air!?” 

Harry opens his mouth then shuts it, quickly shaking his head trying not to upset his husband more as he tries to control the smile curving up his lips

 “Ah fuck this! You are coming with me to the hospital, RIGHT NOW! DO you understand Potter!” Draco says through his gritted teeth and Harry only manages to nods his head, biting his lower lip. The blonde huffs and stomps up the stairs mumbling about how he can’t believe he got pregnant again.

*

“PANSY!!!” Draco shouts from the top of his lungs, making James’s flutter his eyes open.

“Ah, Draco, you woke Jamie up” Harry says shuffling the baby in his arms and James’s closes his eyes again. A very tired, sleepy Pansy walks downstairs, he black hair flying in every direction, an image she wouldn't like anyone to see “Darling, do you realises what time it is?” she says giving him a flat tone and a very annoyed look.

“Can you please take care of James, Potter and I _need_ to go to the hospital” Draco says placing the baby bag on the floor as Harry walks forward and hands the baby to the ex-slytherin girl.

“Hospital? Why?” Pansy yawns giving him a confused look, Draco opens his mouth to answer but Harry beats him to it “Draco might be pregnant” he says and the blonde slams his hand to his forehead.

“You are not supposed to tell people that until you are sure!” Draco hisses at his husband who just laughs at Pansy’s now wide eyes stunned expression.

“Pregnant?” She says blinking at Draco, who gives a nod “Again?” this time she looks at Harry, who grins at her as if they have confirmed Draco’s pregnancy already.  
Her mouth drops open “Bloody hell Draco!!” Pansy says loudly making James’s move in her arms “You two literary got back together barely three weeks ago!!”  

“Funny how that works” Harry says laughing and Draco cups his mouth “I feel sick again” he says holding his stomach. Harry’s arms are around him in a heartbeat “Come on, let’s go to the doctor” he whispers softly, kissing the side of his cheek.

 

*

“Congratulations Draco, you are pregnant” Neville says grinning–and Draco thinks he’s going to pass out from the news. Nine months of horrible pain. Vomiting. Food crisis. Losing of appetite. Staying up at nights. Gaining _weight._ He pales at the thought and glances up at Harry who’s whole is beaming with happiness.  

Harry scoops him in his arms and lifts him up from the chair “That’s great! I am so happy!!” Draco blinks at the grin his husband flashes at him “I love you Draco, you are the best gift God could ever give me”-just like that all of his panic, his worry is throw out the window and a smile breaks through his lips “I love you too” Draco whispers joining their forehead together as Neville smiles at them.

*

6 weeks later

They are at the hospital and Draco feels anxious. Today they are going to their baby for the first time. He’s glad his husband with him, even though it took ages for Harry to convince him to get out of their house but he wanted to stay home, for a very valid reason of course. He woke up last week looking fatter than he had when he carried James and broke into tears, refusing to take a step outside. Though, Harry panicked and finally managed to drag him to the hospital the following week.

Neville puts his wand on his stomach “Ready?” he asked and Draco takes in a deep breathe, squeezing Harry’s hand tightly. They both shook their heads in union. He cast an ultrasound spell, a black and white image popped right on top of Draco’s stomach giving them the view of inside.

“Oh!” Neville says, voice shocked and face surprised “Won’t you look at that”

The couple stare at the image, mouth hanging lose as _two_ babies with un-developed bodies flow in Draco’s tummy.

_Holy fuck._

Harry’s eyes widen, eyebrows reaching up to his hair line “Wh-!?Twines!?” his voice full of surprise and it cracks at the end as he stares at the image in front of him.

Neville smile, dragging his wand around Draco’s stomach, showing them different angels “Looks like it” he says and Harry lets out a dis-believable chuckle as he pushes his hair back. So that’s why Draco’s been feeling a lot more kicks than usual, Harry thinks a relief sigh escaping his lips as he thinks back to last night when he heard a loud kick from his husband’s stomach making Draco groan in pain.

“Wow” He says breathless, without being able to find any other word to describe his feelings. The longer he watches his two babies, the more emotional he feels. He turns his head to look at Draco, who’s holding back thick tears and Harry’s heart drops.

“Draco!” He says cupping the blonde’s face in his hands “What’s wrong?” Neville takes his wand back and looks up at the couple.

Draco sniffs “I am going to look like a hippogriff” he says “Then-Then you won’t love me anymore” Harry blinks, he stares at the adorable pout on Draco’s lips as the blonde holds his tears back desperately “You’ll leave me again b-because I’ll be so fat and you-you won’t lov-

Harry bursts into loud laughter, pulling Draco’s head in his chest and leaning down to kiss his head “You are so fucking cute, you’ll be the death of me” he says as Neville shakes his head with an amused smile “I’ll get the reports” he says standing up and walking out the room leaving the couple to their privacy.

“I won’t ever stop loving you Draco” the blonde sniffs and looks up at his husband “Promise?” he asks tilting his head. Harry smiles, he leans down and kisses those rosy lips he loves so much “I promise.”

Satisfied the blond turns his lips up into a small smile, then he blinks "Oh Merlin!" he screams standing up and startling Harry "I am carrying twins!!" 

Harry laughs and cups his face, bringing Draco forward in a promising kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Ginny is a good girl, after all. I didn't have it in me to make her bad :'( .... I am sorry.  
> The drawings are made by me, hope they aren't too bad and you guys liked them. I have many Drarry comics but I don't have a software to edit them on. These are just some rough edits that I made using online photoshop.  
> It was kind of hard to write something emotional, I tried to stay in the character zone but I think Draco cried a little too much... er... well at least when he was alone.  
> I wanted to show that Harry really is guilty for what he did, but sometimes people just make stupid mistakes. I have seen it many times and sometimes relationships break but sometimes they don't. Partners figure things out and move on from the past with new trust building their way.  
> Either way, I hope you guys liked the story. Thank you for reading :) I'll update Fault in our stars next.  
> I just have so many one-shots of drarry that I want to finish before the thoughts and ideas leave my head.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr scarlet47.tumblr.com :)


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